Endgame & Beyond
by Queen Selene I
Summary: Chakotay is struggling with gifts left behind by Teero while Kathryn gets kidnapped by the Borg and only barely survives but on their return to Earth she holds a dangerous secret. Can Kathryn learn to trust him again?
1. Chapter 1

I have never liked the ending of Star Trek Voyager and while not normally a writer I thought I try for once. Captain Kathryn Janeway is my favourite character so she will be my main focus for this though I will try to make an effort to get a family feeling. Whom will I pair her with you ask? Honestly I have no clue yet. Personally I couldn't care less whether it is F/F or F/M the only pairing I hate is J/7... for me that is just wrong from a personality standpoint alone. I read 2 storys like that which friends had said were good but that pairing just isn't working for me. Anyway this story starts a couple months before the actual Endgame just after the events of Friendship One and some Epsiodes never happened. To make it easier the shielding and weapons which had according to cannon been brought back from the future were build by Torres, Janeway and Seven for this story. Last but not least Star Trek Voyager and all its rights do not belong to me and I am not making any profit with this blablabla you all know the drill!

**Endgame**

Captains Ready Room

Stardate: 54827.7

_Captain's personal log:_

_Over 7 years have passed since we have been thrown into the delta quadrant and it feels weird to know that I missed yet another of Phoebes birthdays. We used to fight all the time and now I am doing everything I can to get back to her and Mom... nothing seems to be enough. Will I ever see them again? I wish I could be in Indiana and even being teased by Phoebes till Mom shouts at us to cut it out... Just like we used to be... I can't even contact them to let them know I am thinking of them as our last mission regarding Friendship One has damaged our long range communications array and we are currently unable to contact Pathfinder or anyone else back home. I am also worried about Chackotay... he still hasn't got over the events involving Teero Anaydis. The mutiny wasn't his fault but he blames himself and still hasn't got over it. He seems overly cautious and is barely doing his duties and I must admit while Tuvok is picking up part of the slack I need my first officer back. I can't even remember the last time I had a full nights sleep but the reports just keep piling up and I don't have the time for even an evening off due to it. All I do is work myself into the ground till I fall asleep then get up and do it all over again. _

End log.

"I suppose I better get back to these reports for now, before I drive myself mad." Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the Federation Starship _Voyager_ muttered under her breath, grabbing a PADD from her table just as the door chimed. "Come in."

Lt Torres and Lt Parris came in and looked at each other worried after seeing the amount of PADDS lined up on the Captains desk. B'Elanna spoke up first. "Captain I wanted to ask if you would be interested in Sandrines? We have 4 hours of Holodeck time saved up."

"I'm sorry B'Elanna, Tom but I am too far behind as it is. I need to catch up on my work."

B'Elanna had anticipated this. "You mean Chackotays work, I know for a fact that you are doing his as well as your own and have been ever since Teero." Meanwhile Tom was watching the conversation quietly not saying a word.

Kathryn sighed and gave her a low level glare. "He just needs some time B'Elanna. You especially should be able to understand that."

"Its been months!" B'Elanna held up her hand and visible calmed herself down. "Wait I am not here to argue with you. You are overworked as it is and I do not want to add to your burden. Hand me a PADD please."

"Me as well." Tom now added.

"What?"

"We are part of the senior staff are we not? But more importantly we are your friends and can not watch you make yourself ill like this. Its too much even for you, let us help. Please?" B'Elanna now gave the Captain a look which proved how serious she was.

Tom took over. "We are all worried about Chackotay but we are even more worried about you. It can't go on like this. Let us help. A shared burden is half the burden after all."

Kathryn sighed and leaned back in her chair giving the two officers before her a long look before speaking. "Very well."

"Great I let Harry and Neelix know they can come here tomorrow we will all help you till Chackotay grows his balls back." Tom was grinning at her and B'Elanna had a relieved look on her face as well. "Now which ones first?" Both of them grabbed some PADDS and got to work.

Kathryn was blinking in surprise and a small smile started forming on her face. "Thank you." Then turned back to her own PADD.

Slowly over the next couple days the senior staff helped the Captain catch up. After B'Elanna and Tom started helping her it had taken only another 2 hours to finish all the reports and that night was the first where she had got a full 8 hours sleep in months. She was still exhausted but the senior staff wasn't yet done even if the Captain had no idea. Quietly behind her back they had looked for a way to get her the rest she needed and had found it with the help of a small abandoned M-class planet. The crew had been informed and all agreed to keep quiet till the moment they were starting to land. The planet also had the added bonus of being an ideal hideout for them to carry out the much needed repairs.

Captains Personal Quarters

Kathryn had woken up a while ago and was getting ready for the day when the Blue alert started. Rising an eyebrow she tabbed her communicator. "Janeway to the bridge what is going on?" No answer came though her door chimed instead. "Come."

The Doctor, Commander Tuvok and Lt Torres now came into her quarters. The Doctor spoke up first. "Captain we apologise for the deception."

A full force level 10 glare was directed at all 3 of them."Explain."

Tuvok spoke up first. "Captain, while it became much better over the last couple days it is obvious to all of us that you are still exhausted and need a break. We apologise for going behind your back like this but we are worried about you. We took the liberty of finding a M-class planet on which you could take a couple days break while we would do the needed repairs with the rest of the crew."

Janeways face softened. "How long?"

B'Elanna now spoke up. "We need 2 days to get the ship back into shape while you go and enjoy yourself."

"No I think not." The Captain held up her hand to stop their objections. "I will help you finish the repairs, after that we are all having a weeks break." 1 nod from Tuvok and 2 identical grins were her answer. "Inform the crew and make sure a crew rotation is drawn up so someone is always on board. Dismissed."

The repairs were done in record time and 28 hours later the crew started their shore leave. Commander Tuvok had volunteered to take the first rotation of staying on board with 27 others and so most of the crew together with the rest of the senior staff took their leave.

Ensigns Kim and Wildmann, together with Naomi, Lts Torres and Paris as well as Neelix and Seven of Nine had opted to take their leave with the Captain who they all watched relax for the first in far too long. They had made their camp near some mountains with a beautiful waterfall in the background and were making sure to make the best of this time. Neelix, Tom and Naomi were in the water swimming while Seven and B'Elanna had opted to take a long walk. The time spend worrying about the Captain had shown B'Elanna that there was more to Seven then just an Ex-drone and they had slowly become friends. The Captain had opted to curl up with a good book near the camp and just spend her time resting and talking to Samantha with the occasional dip in the water to keep Naomi happy. So the week flew by.

10 days later the Captain made her way to the daily senior staff meeting. They had left the planet behind 2 days ago and now everything was back to normal. Commander Tuvok, Lt Torres and Ensign Kim were already there with the rest of the senior staff filtering into the room from the bridge.

"Anybody have anything new?" Kathryn asked while drinking her coffee. Tuvok and the Doctor exchanged a knowing look after seeing how much better she now looked.

"Crew morale is up since the shore leave and may I add also that it is a joy to see you so relaxed Captain." Neelix spoke up first. There were smiles all around the table and the Captain allowed herself a small smirk.

In that moment the comm system activated: "_Red Alert, Captain, to the bridge!_" Lt Ayala sounded anxious even through the comm system and the entire senior staff made their way to the bridge.

"Report!" Kathryn barked just as she came out of the briefing room.

"A borg transwarp tunnel just opened 2 light years from us, 1 tactical cube seems to be coming out. They will be in range in about 15 minutes."

Kathryn didn't waste any time and started barking out orders: "Tuvok deploy armor and ready the transphasic torpedos, B'Elanna see what you can do about our deflector array we may need it. Captain to all hands! Arm yourself and get ready for a possible boarding...

"We are being hailed Captain audio only." Harry Kim now spoke up.

"Lets hear it Harry."

"_To all ships, we are a Borg vessel that has been disconnected from the Borg collective. We are tactical cube 29673, we mean you no harm. We are trying to contact the Starfleet vessel U.S.S. Voyager... To all ships, we are a Borg vessel... _The Ensign cut the connection at the Captains signal.

"Unimatrix zero..." Commander Chackotay murmured and threw a knowing look first at Seven of Nine then the Captain._ "_Try hailing them."

"No response." Ensign Kim stated.

"Our sensors indicate that their long range communications system has been damaged." Commander Tuvok announced from his station at Tactical.

"Increase our speed to warp 6 and get us in range Tom, Harry continue hailing them." Kathryn now ordered.

"Aye Captain." answered both officers at the same time.

5 minutes later the atmosphere on the bridge was subdued with everyone following their duties without the normal chatter. "Are we in range yet Harry?" The captain spoke up.

"Yes Captain, they should be able to get our hails now."

"Open a channel." the captain stated, "Borg tactical cube 29673 this is the _U.S.S. Voyager_ please respond.

There was nothing at first then, "_Voyager, thank you for responding. We are trying to get a message to Kathryn Janeway. We understand she is your captain."_

The captain raised an eyebrow and looked first to Commander Chackotay, then to the rest of the bridge staff. One of the first questions that came to them all was what they wanted from her specifically.

The static voice wasn't quite finished yet. "_We would like to request a meeting with the Captain if at all possible, we should be in transporter range within 2 minutes._

"That is agreeable, our scans show that your weapons are currently offline... it would be best to keep them that way." Kathryn stated.

"_Understood."_

"Voyager out." The captain threw a look at Ensign Kim who disconnected the communication. "How many life signs are on that cube?"

"According to our sensor only 13526, all Borg. Normally there should be between 30.000 and 40.000 on there." Harry answered.

"Any other?"

"No Captain."

"Drop to impulse Tom." Came the order from Commander Chackotay who then turned his head to the Captain. She was sitting seemingly without a care in the universe in her command chair. He wasn't at all sure how she was able to project such an aura... he shrugged and thought to himself that it really shouldn't be a surprise as Janeway thrived on pressure. She hadn't even shown much strain when facing the Borg queen herself after all.

"_Don't let them see you sweat Katie!" _Was shooting through the Captains head at that moment. At times like these it took all her training and experience to keep the command mask up.

"We are being hailed again, Captain." Ensign Kim informed her.

"On screen."

The face they now saw was very familiar to Janeway and Seven as they had seen him before in Unimatrix Zero, though he still looked mostly Borg his skin looked normal and he had let his hair grow. "Axum." The Captain nodded to him in acknowledgement. Meanwhile Seven had gasped quietly as she had not expected to see him again as she admitted to herself quietly.

"Captain Janeway, it is an honour to see you again. Would it be possible for me to beam over so we can speak face to face? I have some information for you which you will be interested in."

"_Everyone on the bridge is already armed." _The Captain thought, throwing a look at Tuvok who nodded at her. "We will beam you over."

Axum materialised on the bridge. "Its a pleasure to see you again Captain, we are all pleased to see how far Voyager has come."

The relief personnel retook their stations as the senior staff headed once again to the briefing room. The Captain thought quietly to herself that if they stayed in their much longer she would have Neelix bring them some refreshments and food, then proceeded to introduce her staff. She quietly observed how closely their guest was watching Seven and had to admit to a bad feeling.

Axum drew his attention back to her. "When you freed us from the collective we were on the far site of the beta quadrant. There were 7 of us who could remember our individual lives and had control over our true selfs. We proceeded to disconnect from the central plexus before the Queen could detect us and then set out to free as many drones as we could. Unfortunately we only managed to disconnect half the drones, out of the 150,000 on the vessel. But in time we managed to get control over the vessel and have been looking for other ships ever since to disconnect even more drones. We call ourselfs the Unimatrix Zero resistance. Every time we found a new vessel we proceeded to free more and we now have control of about 135 vessels all over the universe. We are working together to try and free more. Three weeks ago we liberated another cube and found some information which is why we are here now."

The Captain leaned forward. "Which is?"

"I'm afraid Captain that you yourself are now a top priority of the Queen. The Queen wants you captured and on her site. She believes that you have something that they need."

Several sharp intakes of breath could be heard and the senior staff moved startled eyes towards their Captain who as always gave off an aura of calm. "Go on."

"We are planning on going after her ourselfs as we believe that she is the key to free all the drones which is our goal. We have information which leads us to believe that she is about 25,000 light years from here but still in the delta quadrant. The borg space you have already passed a couple years ago to be more specific."

For the next 3 hours Axum outlined the resistance plan to find and kill the Queen, while freeing as many drones as possible. Janeway agreed to let them have access to their doctor as his success in removing implants was something they were very interested in, which was certainly understandable.

As the meeting was breaking up Axum approached Seven of Nine and asked to speak to her privately before returning to the cube. Seven nodded to the Captain who then proceeded to leave the room though reluctantly as she still had a bad feeling.

"Annika I am so happy that we meet in real life at last. I never really believed that it would be possible." He smiled and laid his hand on her shoulder.

"Axum I can't."

"I know I still have nearly all of my implants and don't look too good right now."

Seven turned away from him and looked out over the stars."That isn't it. _Voyager... _is my collective now, this crew and Captain Janeway especially helped me so much. It is only thanks to them that I have regained my humanity. She especially has become a mentor... more like a mother to me and I do not believe that I am ready to give that up. Not yet anyway, I am not ready..."

"_Damn I hadn't expected this. How will I get her to leave now?" _Axum looked at her quietly and decided to take it slow. "Its okay I do understand. Why don't we go to this Astrometics lab I have heard about and start downloading the data we have collected.

Over the next 2 days Axum and Seven worked on transferring the tactical data and to convert it into Federation standard. This was slow going as some data which _Voyager_ and the Federation had collected was different from what the Cube collected. The Captain did look into Astrometrics from time to time to check up on their progress but stayed mostly out of it as they were after all the experts. She instead had meetings over Pathfinder with Starfleet command, the Admirals all agreed with her that something was not right about this and she was ordered to collect more information.

It was 2017 hours and the Captain was in her quarters going over some of the data on the Borg movement. _"Something isn't right here, I can feel it but what?" _Over the years Janeway had learned to trust her instincts and she knew something was wrong now.

The chime interrupted her thoughts. "Come."

Seven entered and held out a PADD. "Here is the information that lead Axum and the others to believe that the Queen is behind us so to speak."

Janeway took the PADD but never looked away from Sevens eyes. "Thank you. Have you eaten?" A slight shake of Sevens head was her answer. "Would you like to join me then? I haven't spoken to you much these last couple days."

"That is... acceptable."

Janeway stood and started moving towards her replicator. "What would you like? Pasta okay?" This time she got a nod as answer.

While eating Janeway watched Seven she knew something was up and was just waiting for her to bring it up.

"Captain..."Seven hesitated and it was clear she didn't know how to start.

"Seven you should know by now that you can speak to me about anything. If I can help I will do so."

Seven was still hesitant. "You... you are planning on going after the Queen are you not?"

"I am planning on going after answers. Whatever we do from here on out I don't think we have much of a choice. She is after me already and sometimes the best defence is to attack. Though we are not going to turn around. We aren't positive on exactly where she is after all. Sooner or later we will meet up with her again of that I am sure." Having said that the Captain moved to recycle the dishes and got herself some coffee which she slowly sipped. Seven was watching her quietly and hesitated again but before she could speak Kathryn spoke further. "You are leaving with him, aren't you?"

Shocked eyes met hers. "How did you know?"

"I am not blind Seven. While I admit I do not fully understand your relationship with Axum it is obvious that you care for him."

Seven shock her head now. "Captain, I am not leaving to be with him. I want to go after the Queen, so she won't come after you, with the help of Axum and the other Ex-drones."

"What if she captures you? Please Seven don't go for that reason. We, all of us here on _Voyager, _have proven more then once that we can only beat her if we work together."

"She will not get me Captain. Please try to understand."

"No... I order you to stay."

"I will not comply. I can not sit by and watch her come after you. I can not and I will not do that when I can prevent it." Seven could now see that something in the Captain changed. She seemed to pull away emotionally and it was obvious that the decision was made but Seven wasn't quite ready to give up. "Please Captain give us time to deal with her before you do anything."

The Captain stood up and grabbed her night clothing. "This ship is going to leave after we finish repairs tomorrow. This discussion is over." She walked to her bathroom and sealed the door behind her.

**FEEDBACK PLEASE!**


	2. Chapter 2

First of all I must apologise I didn't realise till it was pointed out that I spelled Chakotays name wrong.

**Chapter 2**

Stardate: 55839.1

Captains Personal Log

_Seven of Nine and the Borg cube are gone. I have a very bad feeling about her leaving though can not explain why, I can't help but feel that something is very wrong. It seems to me that the information Axum and his group have given us is at best a wild guess. Probably a good one yes but... I just know something is very wrong. Seven is too intelligent to believe the story they gave us, so I'm left wondering if there is another reason for her leaving._

_

* * *

_

3 days had passed since Seven of Nine had left _Voyager_ with the Borg Cube. The crew was now watching the worrying trend of not only Commander Chakotay being distant but the Captain was going down the same way. Though she seems to have thrown herself into her work even more then before which was the complete opposite of the Commander who by now was barely even seen on the bridge. It was like she was trying to do the work of 10 people... B'Elanna had enough of that behaviour and tried to at least get through to half the Command team as she believed that Chakotay could help the Captain better then anyone else. True to her Klingon site she stormed into his quarters.

"Old man! I really had enough of this. Get out of these rooms and take your place on the bridge back!"

"B'Elanna get out!"

"Only if you return to your duties! The Captain needs you Chakotay, now more then ever. And so does this crew for that matter." She watched the Commanders face darken.

"They don't need me and neither does Kathryn. You know as well as I do that if she needed me she would have come to me by now considering that I haven't done much work at all in 3 months." He turned away from her.

"Chakotay... Kahless! The Captain nearly worked herself into the ground to do not only her own duties but yours on top! She wanted to give you time to work through this on your own. But obviously that isn't going to happen any time soon. The rest of us have been helping her since before the shore leave as we were worried she would collapse from the strain on her. She never once complained and I have a feeling Starfleet Command has no idea about what you are doing either or they would have tasked her with removing you from your duties long before now. Is that what you want?" B'Elanna couldn't believe it but Chakotay just wasn't interested. "Chakotay why are you doing this? Not only to us from the crew but to the Captain?"

"That is none of your business!" He picked up his uniform from the chair it was laying on and threw it at her. "Take this and get out! Don't come back here! I am no longer the first officer of this ship and in fact want nothing to do with any of you."

"Chakotay..."

"No! Get out!" He roared at her then retreated to his bedroom which he promptly locked. He could hear that B'Elanna left only a few seconds later and sacked against the wall. _"Why can't you understand? I nearly killed Kathryn, I am too dangerous I can't come near her."_

_

* * *

_

B'Elanna did inform the rest of the senior staff though not the Captain as they believed that he said it in anger and didn't really mean it. Together they ran some interference so that the scuttlebutt wouldn't get to Janeway. 3 days later Tom, B'Elanna and Mike Ayala tried to talk to him again hoping he would have calmed down. But just as they were in front of his quarters he already came storming out, in full uniform to boot. He wouldn't even look at the three of them and just marched straight passed them.

"Chakotay?" Came from Mike. Surprised the three of them stared at each other and then after him again. "We better go after him. He doesn't look like he calmed down and we have no idea where he is going. To top that off it smells like a distillery here, he is definitely drunk."

Twin nods answered him and they ran after Chakotay who by now was in the Turbolift.

Meanwhile Janeway was in Astrometrix speaking alone with Admirals Nechayev, Paris and Patterson regarding the Maquis and the remaining Equinox crew for whom she had been fighting for months. The last thing she wanted was for them all to return home and then for part of her crew to end up in prison. She wanted this out of the way with a guarantee that nothing would happen to her crew long before they got home.

"Captain we can understand your position, but you need to understand ours too. The Maquis and the 5 people who were originally members of the Equinox crew have been with you for a while now and it is clear to us that they are doing a wonderful job for you. But they are not doing it for Starfleet and they are certainly not loyal to it." Nechayev was being her typical self.

"Admirals..."

In that moment Chakotay came storming in. Nechayev looked at him through the screen and snapped. "Commander this is a private conversation, get out!"

"No Ma'am bitch I won't!"

"Chakotay!" Janeway was obviously appalled.

He wouldn't stop though and came storming to her taking a PADD which he had in his jacket out so he could download it for Pathfinder. "Here! Take this and stick it where the sun doesn't shine!"

"Chakotay what is going on?" With those words Janeway deliberately stepped into his path.

The enraged Commander wouldn't be stopped though, he grabbed her by the shoulders and slammed her into the wall. By now the Captain could smell the alcohol on his breath and she grimaced from that as well as the pain. "I told her! I told Torres 3 days ago that I am resigning my commission but she obviously didn't listen. She. Did. Not. Listen!" With each of his last words he slammed the Captain back into the wall, then let her go. The last hit to her head was too much and Janeway crumbled to the floor straight away obviously unconscious, which the 3 admirals on the screen could only watch helplessly. That is the scene Torres, Paris and Ayala stepped into.

"Captain!" Came horrified shouts from all three of them.

"Chakotay let her go!" Ayala took only a second to take it in and jumped onto the Commander to stop him, while Tom tabbed his comm badge for security before helping Ayala as well. Torres in the meantime made her way straight to the Captain to check up on her. "Torres to transporter room 1. Lock onto the Captains comm badge and beam her to sickbay. Medical emergency!" The two of them vanished into blue particles.

* * *

Commander Tuvok had just spend the last 3 hours with Commander Chakotay in the Brig trying to find out what happened and why but he wasn't communicating so he made his way towards the sickbay to get an update on the Captains condition. "Doctor how is the Captain?"

"Not good I'm afraid. Apart from heavy bruising on her upper arms and back, she also received a open skull fracture. I repaired most of the damage but she will need to stay in a coma till the swelling on her brain is down." The Doctor told him grimly. "The Commander really did a number on her in the few seconds he had. Any idea why he did it yet?"

"No all he will say is that he resigns – over and over at that. When do you think the Captain will awaken?"

"Hard to say. Without Seven and her nanoprobes there is only so much I can do for her. I will be able to tell you more tomorrow. I need to do some tests in the meantime so excuse me please Commander." With that the Doctor turned around and stepped into his office.

Tuvok stepped up to the biobed the Captain lay on and where Lt Torres was already standing. "She looks so small and fragile like this hard to believe that she seems larger then life when awake to most of this crew and quite a few not so friendly aliens." B'Elanna was obviously distraught by what had happened. "I just don't understand Tuvok why would he do this? I thought he loves her."

Tuvok just nodded at this. "I believe that is quite well known to the entire crew. As to why I can not answer that yet. I have informed the crew that the Captain has been injured though I have not told them what has happened. As with the others who saw please do not speak about this matter till I can complete my investigation."

"Very well but I doubt that will stop the scuttlebutt." B'Elanna nodded at him.

Tuvok raised an eyebrow. "Indeed." With that he turned around and left, leaving B'Elanna behind to keep her silent vigil over Janeway.

* * *

3 days passed with the rumours, despite the senior staffs best efforts, running rampart. The crew was confused at Chakotays behaviour and also outraged that the Captain got hurt. At all times there was at least one member of the crew with her waiting for her to wake up. But she just lay there not moving with the Doctor slowly running out of options when B'Elanna came in to take the place of Crewman Harron at the Captains site. "Any change yet?"

"Nothing so far. I need to get ready for my duty shift. I will see you soon Lt." With that Harron left.

"_Typical Harron! Trying to make out he doesn't care for anything but his studies. We all know very well that he cares very much about the Captain or he wouldn't have spend time here." _B'Elanna now turned back to the Captain who still had not moved and started whispering to her after taking her right hand into her own. "Captain I am not sure if you can hear me or not but I want you to know... I have no idea what happened to the old man and can't understand why he would hurt you in the first place. I am sure under normal circumstances he would never hurt you. He loves you! I know it and so does everyone else on this crew." A tear fell down her cheek. "As for us so called Maquis we are all on your site and would never do anything which would endanger you. In fact we would give our lives for you without hesitation. When we first came onto this ship most of us including myself hated Starfleet and everyone who wore its uniform because of that treaty. And Tom as well... what you did for him alone was phenomenal! He hated Starfleet because it felt to him as if it had taken his father away from him. He was a convicted criminal and even he admits if it hadn't been for you he would most likely be dead by now. But you... despite everything you took us in and gave us a home. You gave us a chance and we can never repay you for that. We are all so proud to be part of Starfleet now but most importantly we are proud that you are our Captain. Please get well soon we need you." With that B'Elannas head fell onto the Captains shoulder as she truly started to cry.

"And I am proud to be your Captain." Came the whispered reply as the Captains left hand came up to lay on B'Elannas shoulder who promptly froze.

"Captain?" B'Elanna could now feel her hands being squeezed and moved her head to see the Captains face.

"Yes." Janeway had also opened her eyes which seemed more grey then blue.

B'Elanna shot up and started shouting for the Doctor. "Doctor come here she is awake!"

"Not for long at this rate. My head is killing me and your shouting isn't helping." Groaned Janeway weakly in reply.

"Oh I'm sorry. I'm just so happy that you are awake." B'Elanna was rather sheepish.

"Captain how are you feeling?" The Doctor had now also approached and was already scanning her.

"As if a shuttle has hit my head at warp speed." Came the tired reply. The Doctor gave her a hypospray to the neck and watched as her face relaxed. "B'Elanna are you okay?"

"Shouldn't we be asking you that?" Came the incredulous reply.

A pointedly raised eyebrow was her answer. "I'm not the one who is pregnant."

Now B'Elanna rolled her eyes. "I'm fine is just those damn hormones."

"Do you remember what happened?" The Doctor impatiently asked.

"…"

"Captain?" The Doctor and B'Elanna gave each other knowing looks.

"I was talking to Admirals Nechayev, Paris and Patterson over Pathfinder when Chakotay came storming in." Her eyes widened as she remembered the next part. "He was very angry and called Nechayev 'Ma'am bitch'... For that one alone... I'm not looking forward to my next convo with her.. I tried talking to him to calm him down and find out what was going on but he was too drunk and did not listen. He grabbed me and slammed me against the wall repeatably, shouting something about resigning... I must have blacked out at some point during that as I can't remember anything else."

"You did. That is when Tom, Mike and I came into the room." B'Elanna spoke up. "I transported you here as fast as I could while the guys sorted out Chakotay. He has been put into the Brig and you have been here ever since.

"How long was I out?"

"3 days Captain. You gave us quite a scare."

A look at their faces confirmed this for Kathryn. B'Elanna especially looked horrible and had bags under her eyes. "How is the crew taking this?"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "Typical. You get injured and your first thought is still about the crew.

"Just answer my question."

"The Senior staff has been running interference and not many know what exactly happened. All the crew knows is that you were hurt and Commander Chakotay is now in the Brig. They are confused and angry on your behalf as well as very worried about you." B'Elanna answered her.

"What injury's did I have? And how long do I have to stay here?"

The Doctor now started scolding her. "A skull fracture which nearly killed you. In fact if Lt Torres here hadn't acted as fast as she did you would be dead right now. You will stay here for another day at least then I want you to take another 3 days off which you will spend in your quarters before returning to duty part time. Your body needs it."

"Cortical monitor and I can return to my quarters tonight. Tomorrow I want to show the crew that I am okay so will need to be able to at least move freely around the ship." A full level 10 glare was directed at the doctor. "I will also be able to come here for check ups every couple hours that way. The day after I will return part time to duty."

"Deal." The Doctor grinned at her smugly before turning around to return to his office and her eyes narrowed.

"He tricked me didn't he?"

A grin was her answer. "I believe so Captain."

* * *

The next morning the Captain made her way from her quarters to the mess hall to eat her breakfast with the crew and show them that she was okay. She knew after what happened they needed her on top of her game more then ever. _"At times like these I really wish we had a counsellor." _She mused to herself. She took a deep breath and straightened up then stepped into the mess hall which was full to the bursting. The crew had heard that she had been released from sickbay and wanted to make sure she was okay for themselves. The only people missing were those on the still ongoing gamma shift. Surprised she stopped walking and had a good look around at her crew who were all quietly watching her.

"Captain over here. We are currently going over the reports but should be done within 10-15 minutes so we can talk after you have eaten." Harry Kim had stood up and waved her over to a table with the entire senior staff sans Neelix who was cooking.

"Give me 2 minutes Harry. I am starving and want to see what breakfast I can get first."

"Here is your coffee Captain and how about some slightly modified English breakfast? I know you are originally Irish though your family lives in Indiana so thought this maybe something for you." Neelix offered her a plate full with sausages, beans, eggs, tomatos and toast.

"I am not sure that I can eat all that but I would be delighted to try Neelix." In truth the Captain was hiding a grimace the words "slightly modified" giving her a bad feeling. She took the plate and her cup then joined her senior staff. By now the crew had also started talking again with some people leaving to get some more sleep before starting their own shifts in the afternoon.

Janeway was surprised to find that her breakfast actually was edible and now had a good look around and saw that a lot of the crew but the senior staff especially seemed stressed. She quietly waved Neelix over and whispered to him. "Any possibility of an event for tonight? Some kind of party?"

Neelix grinned at her. "Of course! It will do the crew good to have some time with you. I organise something together with Mike Ayala and Tom Paris. Shall we say 1900 hours for the start?"

"If you can do it in such a short amount of time sure. Though for right now I have another idea, there are far too many PADDS here. This is supposed to be breakfast not working lunch. Please contact the Transporter room and get them beamed out of here." Janeway winked at him.

"Will do and I contact you later with information on what we can do tonight for the crew."

2 minutes later the over 200 PADDS in the room started disappearing and some outraged shouting was heard. The Captain stood and got the attention of her crew. "This is breakfast not a working lunch. You can come pick up your PADDS from Neelix after you have finished not before. Carry on."

Tom now stood as well. "Does this mean we can do the same to your PADDS when you work too hard again?" Some laughter was heard and there were quite a few grins to be seen.

"Only if you want to spend some extra time on the graveyard shift Tom." Came the answer and as everyone knew that Tom hated that shift with a passion they all broke up laughing.

* * *

Meanwhile on board of a certain Borg cube Seven was starting to get suspicious. For the third time since they had left _Voyager _the long range communications had broken down and the repair for those took a very long time. Much longer then it should do in fact. Also the fact that they dropped out of transwarp 5.000 light years from Borg space and the Queens projected position just made her suspicions stronger. The liberating of more cubes on the way did not seem very effective as there weren't actually that many cubes around but it was the reason she was given. She longed to return to _Voyager._

_

* * *

_

That afternoon Janeway once again made her way to Astrometrix this time to calm down the Admirals who did not take kindly to what her first officer had done. Lt Paris was already there and was just in the last preparations to receive the communication.

"Here they come." Tom warned her just as the Admirals showed up on the screen.

Though there was a big difference this time, they were not alone. _"That looks like a Press conference... oh dear. Chakotay really messed this up." _Only her command mask hid her surprise.

Tom threw her a pitying look. _"Poor Captain." _Was about all he could think. He nodded to his father then sank into the background.

Janeway meanwhile threw him a telling look to get the rest of the senior staff as well. She knew she needed all the help she could get to minimise the damage especially as she knew quite well that she was not at her full strength, to be frank she was exhausted and her head had started to hurt again as well. Thankfully Tom got the message so she turned her full attention back to the screen. "Good afternoon."

"Captain Janeway I am delighted to see that you are up and about again. I hope you are feeling better after that cowardly attack from Mr Chakotay." Nechayev didn't beat round the bush that much was certain.

"I am not cleared for duty yet and am in fact supposed to be in my quarters resting Admiral so I am a bit surprised you called me here." Two can play this game Janeway thought and gave Admirals Paris and Patterson her old hand signals to make sure they knew she was okay. "_A good old tug on the ear and hopefully they will let my mother know that I am okay." _She could see in their expressions that they understood and were relieved by that knowledge. Owen Paris gave her a slight nod and she knew her message would be conveyed. Behind her she could hear the rest of her senior staff stepping into the room and she breathed a sigh of relief. Hidden behind her back she used her hands to signal her staff to step in and help her.

"That is correct Captain. Admirals, I would appreciate it if you would not disturb my patient for much longer." The Doctor had stepped up to her and now deliberately scanned her to make his point clear for everyone. He watched her worriedly though, while he was scanning her mostly for show he could see that she was very pale. At least they all knew this could not go on for longer then 11 minutes due to the limitations of their Delta quadrant transmission. He gave Ensign Kim a hand signal of his own to make sure the Captain would not be detained who nodded at him.

It was obvious that Admiral Nechayev was not happy but they all knew she could not actually do much. And for the crew of _Voyager _there was just no comparison if they had to decide between the "Battleaxe" Admiral and their Captain, Janeway won every time - hands down. They would follow her through hell and back just as they had done on quite a few occasions before.

Nechayevs smile was thin. "Don't worry Doctor I won't. In fact why don't Captain Janeway and your crew answer some question from the press, considering that our time is limited this should be best. Fed news can start."

"Captain Janeway can you tell us in your own words what has happened?" One of the reporters now spoke up.

"I apologise but our investigation into what has happened is still ongoing and as my entire crew is also watching this I can not give that information out at this time." This was a calculated lie on Janeways part, she knew better then to confirm anything before she could find a way to minimise the damage done to the Maquis and Equinox members of her crew. While it was certainly possible for the entire crew to watch it was rarely done and especially not for a press conference she had no warning about. "In fact Commander Tuvok here is my Chief of Security any and all questions about this topic should go to him for now."

It seemed to Janeway that there was a tactic behind the order of reporters who asked questions as the next reporter picked up seamlessly from where they stopped. "Commander Tuvok, what can you tell us?"

From behind now came Naomi Wildmann, the only child who had been born on _Voyager. _"Captain may I speak with you?"

"Of course Naomi, ladies and gentleman please excuse me." After a nod from the reporters Janeway quickly left. As soon as the door to Astrometrix closed behind her she sagged a bit against the bulkheads and closed her eyes. "Thank you Naomi."

"You are welcome Captain. Are you okay? And don't give me the old 'I'm fine' please, the entire crew knows better then to believe you when you use those words." Naomi looked at her suspiciously.

Normally Kathryn would have glared at any offending crew member who had used that tone with her but Naomi was indeed _Voyagers _only child at this time which gave her some privileges even with the Captain. So she only huffed before answering. "I am very tired and need some rest. Will you escort me to my quarters please?"

"Of course." The small smile on Naomis face was worth it even Janeway had to admit.

* * *

Several hours later Janeway was getting ready for the party in the mess hall when her door chimed. "Come."

Tuvok stepped in. "Captain, I have concluded my investigation into what has happened." He looked at her searchingly and had to admit she now looked much better.

A sigh was his answer. "This had better be good, Tuvok."

"You of course remember what happened with Friendship One." A slight nod was the answer to that. "As you know during that mission Commander Chakotay was held prisoner on the planet. Due to the behaviour of the Commander not only since but also before that mission no one questioned what had happened too much. We should have."

Janeways eyebrows rose into her hairline and she sat down. "Explain."

"Part of the yearly booster for Starfleet personal is a Vulcan drug which protects against Alcoholism. Which can be caused by the overconsumption of Alcohol, synthetic or otherwise."

An incredulous look was thrown at him. "I know that Chakotay has been drinking a lot over the last couple months but this illness hasn't been a problem since the time of Sefram Cochram."

"And it still would not be one if it hadn't been for the water the Commander has consumed while planet bound. It negated his boosters and he was once again vulnerable. I have compiled a list of symptoms on this PADD." Tuvok answered and handed her the PADD.

Janeway scrolled through the PADD shocked and dismayed.

_PADD contents_

Signs of physical dependence include:

- Alcohol-related illnesses

- A need for increasing amounts of alcohol to get drunk or achieve the desired effect (tolerance)

- Memory lapses (blackouts) after heavy drinking

- Withdrawal symptoms when alcohol use is stopped

Some of the symptoms and behaviors of alcoholism include:

- Continuing to drink, even when health, work, or family are being harmed

- Drinking alone

- Episodes of violence when drinking

- Hostility when confronted about drinking

- Lack of control over drinking - being unable to stop or reduce alcohol intake

- Making excuses to drink

- Missing work or school, or a decrease in performance

- No longer taking part in activities because of alcohol

- Need for daily or regular alcohol use to function

- Neglecting to eat

- Not caring for physical appearance

- Secretive behaviour to hide alcohol use

- Shaking in the morning

A heavy sigh as she stopped reading. "So this is an illness. Why didn't we pick this up before now? And how come he got dependant so quickly? I always thought this was caused by long term use. The boosters should have protected him before the Friendship One mission and it has only been a couple weeks."

"Unfortunately it seems that humans have a rather reverse effect when the drug is negated. The alcohol is actually needed in the bloodstream to survive. It will be another month of constant treatment from the Doctor to wean him off it. In the meantime he will have to drink though less every day. I would advise to keep him in isolation till the Doctor clears him. He believes it will be 2-3 weeks before the Commander will stop being so intoxicated that he becomes violent." Tuvok was now watching the Captain carefully, he knew this must be hurting her.

Yet another sigh was his answer and Janeway gave him a long searching look. "Very well. Is there anything else we have to discuss tonight?"

"No Captain."

"Then let us go to the party in the mess hall. The crew is probably wondering where we are."

* * *

Thats it for now! *grins*

As said before I am new at writing so I would appreciate more feedback. You all know that button down there!


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

4 days after being released from sickbay Janeway returned to full duties. She had used the last couple days to spend a lot of time with the lower deck crew to reassure them but now could not wait to get herself back into the thick of things. Slowly she made her way towards the senior staff meeting where everyone but Commander Chakotay, who was confined to sickbay, were already waiting for her. "Any news people?"

"I have calculated that our Delithium reserve will run out in about 6-7 weeks Captain. So we will need to find more in the meantime." B'Elanna spoke up first.

"Anything on our long range scanners Harry?"

"Yes Captain. We have found a small Class-M planet about 2 weeks from here at our current curse and speed. It not only has the Dillithium we need but we believe we can also restock our food supplies while there." The young Ensign answered confidently.

"Sounds good."

"Captain I also have some news." The Doctor now piped up. "I have found a treatment for Commander Chakotay which will enable him to have the required Alcohol level in his blood while also keeping him in full control of himself. I have already administered it and he seems mostly back to normal. I still would advise against him going back on duty but he can be released from sickbay later today so long as there are no complications and with a cortical monitor attached so I can constantly monitor him."

"Very well so long as he isn't a danger to himself or others you have my permission to release him to his quarters." Janeway nodded at him. "Anything..."

"_Red Alert, Captain to the Bridge!" _The comm system now alerted them.

Straight away they all stood up and moved towards the bridge with the Captain being the first out the door. "Report!"

"7 cubes just dropped out of transwarp! They are already in range." Lt Ayala informed them.

"Deploy armor, get the torpedos ready, Tom get us out of here, Harry ready a feedback pulse in case they manage to tractor us. Captain to all hands get ready for a possible boarding!"

"Captain another cube is directly on top of us. We can't shoot without damaging our own systems severely." A warning signal now showed up for Harry. "Captain they matched our shield frequency!"

In that moment drones started showing up on the bridge and all hands went to their hand phasers. Tuvok and Janeway both managed to down 2 drones each before... "They adapted!" The struggle continued but more and more drones showed up and they were quickly overwhelmed.

"_3 to 1 odds really aren't fair." _The Captain thought just as a drone forced her to the floor.

"Stop we aren't here to assimiliate your crew."

Janeway looked at Tuvok who quickly confirmed that the drones had only beamed onto the bridge. One of the drones stepped up to tactical and used his assimilation tubes on it, the next second all systems but life and gravitation support stopped working, and the bridge crew had to watch in horror as their Captain disappeared together with the drones.

"Captain!"

* * *

Janeway found herself surrounded by drones on a cube. She had felt several transports and knew _Voyager _would not be able to help her any time soon – she was alone. 2 of the Drones stepped up beside her and forced her to start moving.

After 5 minutes of walking she found herself in a familiar room and could see the Borg Queen. "Welcome home Captain."

"This is not my home!" Janeway snapped at her.

"Oh but it is now and in the future. For forever to be exact."

Janeway couldn't help but snort. "Forever you say? Have your neurons degraded so much that you have forgotten that I am still human. We don't live forever!"

"Ah yes the human live span. A human female like you can expect to live from 130-140 years while a male lives 115-130 years on average anyway." The Queen now stepped up to her and Janeway flinched. "Oh don't worry Captain I am not planning on making you a drone." With those words she extended her assimilation tubules to Janeways neck. The pain was immense and Janeway sacked to her knees but did not lose consciousness. "I am impressed. You are the first human who managed to stay awake during this process."

The Captain painfully climbed back to her feet and glared at her. "So much for not assimilating me."

"Oh I didn't and you will never be a drone. No you are unique and I just made you mine." A mocking smile was on the Queens face. "I just gave you some extras with the help of some modified nanoprobes. From now on you will no longer need to sleep or eat. Instead you will regenerate in a modified alcove for one hour of your human days. I also gave you the strength of a borg."

"That can't be all."

"_You are correct. I also made sure that I could monitor you constantly by giving you telepathic abilities. This way we do not have to talk, only myself though not the hivemind is connected to you." _She could now hear in her mind, she threw the Queen a horrified look. "What exactly do you want from me?"

"Simple you will help me assimilate Species 8472 and after that humanity."

"Never! I'd rather die!" Janeway snapped back.

"Oh really? I wouldn't be so sure if I were you." Just as the Queen finished speaking Janeway collapsed in pain. "As I already explained you got modified nanoprobes... and they are under my control. Can you feel the pain? Rather like getting plasma burns from the inside no? We have time Captain sooner or later you will break. It is just a matter of time. You will help us whether you want to or not."

* * *

Seven of Nine meanwhile also had her own problems. In all the time since they had left Voyager they had liberated 3 cubes but were no nearer to the Queen, to top it all off the communications array had not been repaired. "I thought this was supposed to be repaired yesterday?"

"Axum wanted to take care of it Seven." Came the answer from Lynne, another human/borg hybrid who used to be a member of Starfleet and was captured at Wolf 359.

"He says that every time!" Seven snapped back.

"What do you mean?" Lynne was confused and it showed.

"I'm getting a really bad feeling here. Could you just watch him please?"

Lynne looked at her long and hard then slowly nodded. "You are right something is wrong. I watch him."

* * *

On board of _Voyager _Chakotay had left sickbay after the systems crashed and after an hour of creeping through jeffreys tubes had managed to get to the bridge. "Tuvok what the hell happened?"

The crew turned to look at him but had no idea what to say.

"Well? And where is the Captain?

Tuvok now stepped forward and looked each member of the crew in the eye before answering. "She is gone Commander."

"What do you mean gone?"

"We were attacked and the bridge over run by the Borg. One drone used his assimilation tubes to damage our system, hence why most everything is down. Then they disappeared unfortunately they took the Captain with them. We have been trying to get the systems back online ever since but they are over run by nanoprobes and we have so far not found a way to get rid of them. We are currently estimating that it will take a month to clean out and bring the systems back online." Tuvok answered and while normally a stoic Vulcan the Commander could see the effect the recent events had on him nearly as well as on the faces of the rest of the bridge crew.

"A Month?" Chakotay now took a deep breath to gather his thoughts. "Are internal communications back online yet?" It was obvious to him that despite his illness and what he had done the crew looked to him to get them out of this and their Captain back. _"Kathryn please give me strength to get through this. I know I don't deserve it but this crew needs you. For them please? I promise we will come for you just hold on."_

"No sir." Ensign Kim answered.

"Okay B'Elanna I need you to go to sickbay and work with the Doctor. There maybe a way to get the nanoprobes with a biological approach. Maybe we can modify replicated nanoprobes not to get rid of the infected ones in our systems but to stop them."

A contemplative look was on her face. "That may actually work."

"Get to it then!"

"Aye sir!"

It took B'Elanna and the Doctor 2 weeks to modify the nanoprobes enough to stop the ones which were in the ship systems. After that it was easy to get all of their systems repaired, all they had to do now was get new Delithium and food. Chakotay ordered maximum warp to get to the M-class planet Harry had found what seemed a lifetime ago. Instead of the projected 2 weeks it only took them a week to get there. Luckily it seemed like the Bord cubes which had taken the Captain had also gone in the same direction so he ordered continued scans for her life signs and also the frequency of the cortical node she had when assimilated. The crew was determined to get her back and when Starfleet Command tried to order them to make their way home each and every one of them was in an uproar.

So the connections was routed to the mess hall so they could make an emotional appeal directly. Every single member of the crew attended. The senior staff had planned for this and made sure, with the help of Admirals Patterson and Paris, that it was a live feed to FedNews the biggest broadcaster in the Federation.

As soon as the feed was live the entire crew could be seen standing to attention and Commander Chakotay stepped forward. "Admirals, ladies and gentleman from the press and all of you who are watching this. The crew of _Voyager _has asked to speak to you so I will just step back and leave the floor to them."

Crewman Tal Celes started. "I am Crewman Tal Celes and 7 years ago when I first came onto this ship I was a failure as I had been all my life. I know I would not have even got through the Academy if it hadn't been for me being a Bajoran and getting sympathy votes due to the war. Even here people were always checking up on my work and everyone had given up on me. Everyone but Captain Janeway. She always believed in me even when I didn't do so myself. It took a long time but she was persistent and was even willing to give her life to save mine. It was only then, on an away mission far from _Voyager, _that I realised I am worth something. I disobeyed her orders to abandon ship that day. And I don't regret it, you know why? Because we are one crew, a Starfleet crew and we don't leave a member of us behind."

Crewman Harren was next. "I'm Mortimer Harren and I was also on that particular away mission. Celes just called herself a failure and during that mission I told Captain Janeway straight out that she made a mistake by taking the group she did. I was rude to the entire team including her and to this day I am surprised that she didn't write me up for insubordination. Instead she tried to get to know me and she really did try every trick in the book. From having info on how I grew up all the way to my 5 advanced University degrees. Up until that point I had no friends on this ship and I admit I refused to do the work Lt Torres assigned me which was according to my abilities. I was more interested in my studies then anything else. That day with her actions alone she showed me that every member of this crew is worth something. I did obey her orders to abandon ship that day but I turned around with the escape pot to get the attention of the aliens myself and then disobeyed her direct order to leave the area. She then put herself in jeopardy again by flying the Delta Flier into Transporter range, getting me out and only then leaving herself. I also don't regret what I have done. This is a Starfleet crew and we don't abandon one of our own.

Next came the youngest member of the crew. "I'm Naomi Wildmann and I was the first child born on this ship which will change soon as Lt Torres is now pregnant." Low chuckles could be heard from both sites of the screen. "2 years ago Seven of Nine was coerced by the Borg Queen to leave _Voyager_, when the Captain found out about it she grabbed the Delta flier and 3 volunteers to go after her. Before she left I asked her what she what she was going to do and she taught me that day that there are 3 things to know about a Starship Captain. 'Keep your shirt tucked in, go down with your ship... and never abandon a member of your crew.' While she did take the other 3 with her she alone went up against the Queen to rescue Seven and she did it. She brought Seven home. She never did tell me what would happen if the Captain needed rescue though." By now there wasn't a dry eye on either Voyager or from the people watching through the feed. Even Nechayev was visible moved.

Lts Paris and Torres stepped up next. "I am Lt Tom Paris and this is my wife Lt B'Elanna Torres..."

Admiral Nechayev interrupted him."Stop! How many more of you are going to step up?" As one the entire crew made a step forward. She couldn't help but smile. "Alright you convinced me. Federation Starship _Voyager _you are hereby formally ordered to hunt down the Borg and get your Captain back. Though if at all possible... please, all of you come back in one piece." A huge cheer went up not only on the ship but also back in the conference room.

At last Commander Chakotay stepped forward again. "Thank you Admiral we won't disappoint you."

"Just get her back."

As one the crew answered her. " We are one crew, a Starfleet Crew and we don't abandon a member of our own."

* * *

I originally wanted to write more... but I can't help but make this a cliffhanger. It just fits. xD

While so far I have tried to post relatively quickly I am going to wait this time till I get some more reviews. So start pressing that button at last!


	4. Chapter 4

My longest chapter yet! And if I do say so myself probably my best! xD Next one is already halfway done but will not be posted till after I get a minimum of 5 reviews per chapter. So 20 alltogether.

**Chapter 4**

Janeway Family Home, Bloomington, Indiana, Earth

Gretchen Janeway was in mourning. Her eldest daughter had vanished over 7 years ago, long thought to be dead. Then nearly 3 years ago she had been informed that her Kathryn was alive but so far away she might as well have been. Over time Starfleet had managed to get in regular contact with her daughters ship and she had even managed to talk to Kathryn herself. Her daughter had been well, stressed and overworked yes but she had been well! And now all that had changed. She had been kidnapped by the most feared enemy the Federation had ever known. Given up for dead - or worse to become a drone. Gretchen wanted no needed her daughter back home for the last 7 years, but now she didn't know what to feel. All she knew was that her hope had died. The hope to see Kathryn again alive and well and so she did the only thing she could do. She sat herself down on Kathryns old bed and cried at the unfairness of it all.

She knew that there were reporters outside her home, had seen them arrive hours earlier. She knew also that they wanted to talk to her, the wife and mother of two famous Starfleet officers who had both been killed in the line of duty. But she wasn't ready to face them, to face the fact that her Kathryn was gone too and so she hid away from the world. _"Thank god Starfleet was considerate enough to give us some of their personnel so we could keep our privacy from those vultures." _She thought venomously and turned her head to look at her daughters old collection of medals and recommendations.

* * *

Downstairs Phoebe, Gretchens youngest daughter, had been spending time in her husbands arms when the doorbell rang. "I get it Steven." Quickly she wiped away her tears and stood.

Steven looked at her in concern. "Are you sure? I can do it too."

"No its fine. It will do me good to get the movement back into my legs anyway. They fell asleep a while ago." A slight smile was on her face though it was small and didn't quite reach her eyes.

"Okay I go check on the kids." With those words Steven disappeared to the back of the house to go to the back garden which would lead to the fields surrounding the farm as their kids were playing in the barn.

Slowly Phoebe opened the front door to find Admirals Paris and Patterson in front of her."Admirals? Not to be rude but what are you doing here?"

The two Admirals looked at her in concern. Phoebe looked to say the least horrible – pale, unkempt and like she had not slept in a while. At last Owen Paris spoke up. "Hello Phoebe, could we come in? We need to talk to you and your mother."

"This really isn't a good time Sir..."

Matthew Patterson now interrupted her. "We know. We wouldn't have come if it wasn't important. I promise you we are bringing only good things."

"_This can only be about Kathryn why else would they have come here?" _For the first time since she had heard the news about her sisters abduction Phoebe dared to hope. "Very well come in. You remember the way to the living area?" Twin nods answered her. "Mom is upstairs, please excuse me while I go get her."

Quickly she ran upstairs and to her sisters old room, luckily the door was open but she could hear her mother crying._ "This better be good news... I don't know how much more Mom can take."_

Gretchen had heard her come up the stairs and turned to her before she could decide what to say. "Phoebe what is it?"

"Admirals Paris and Patterson are here Mom. They want to talk to us."

"Matt and Owen? What do they want here now? Its too late in the day." Gretchen was obviously confused but busied herself with straightening up her appearance so she could face them.

"I don't know." Phoebe did have an idea but she dared not bring it up just in case she was wrong.

"Well then we better not let them wait. Lead the way." Together the two Janeway women made their way downstairs.

In the living area Matthew Patterson turned to his fellow Admiral and pointed at the PADD he held. "How do you think they will take this Owen?"

A sigh answered him. "Honestly? I just don't know. Gretchen appeared near broken last time I saw her and Phoebe isn't much better as you just saw."

"Maybe this will give them the strength to hold on... maybe this will give them hope."

"I certainly hope so Matt. For their sake as well as Katies." An understanding nod was passed between them and they waited in silence for their hosts.

Not quite a minute later Gretchen and Phoebe entered the room. "I apologise for the wait Matt and Owen, what can we do for you?" Gretchen spoke up first.

"No Gretchen we have to apologise to you for coming here this late in the day." Matt answered her.

"Did you watch the FedNews tonight?

"No why?" Gretchen and Phoebe were obviously confused by this line of questioning.

"Earlier today there was a live feed from _Voyager_. In it the crew made an emotional appeal to the entire Federation. One by one they stepped forward and told us stories on how Kathryn had impacted each of their lives. Separately they had also send us written statements from each and every crew member. These statements will be publicised in tomorrows paper - here is an early copy. " Matt handed Gretchen the PADD and waited.

"Why?" Phoebe couldn't help but ask while she let her mother read the PADD first.

"Because in their own words 'We are one crew, a Starfleet crew and we won't leave one of our own behind'. They aren't willing to give up on their Captain, nor are they willing to let Starfleet do so. They convinced even Alynna and are now under orders to get Kathryn back. And from what I have seen of that crew... I am convinced that they will do it, that they will bring her home." Owen softly told them and now at last he saw what he had been hoping for all along. Hope had started to come back to them.

Matt had watched them quietly and as he saw Phoebe fall into her mothers arms he now turned to the window to look up at the stars. _"Edward my old friend, I really wish you were here to give your family strength. Please watch over your Golden Bird so that she finds it in her to survive this and to come home."_

_

* * *

_

Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, Earth

Ever since the conversation with the _Voyager _crew Alynna Nechayev had been deep in thought. She remembered how nearly 30 years ago she had met a certain Edward Janeway. He was the one who sponsored her through command school and she knew without a doubt that she wouldn't be the person she was today without him. She also remembered how devastated she had been when he died but most of all she remembers how proud he had been of his "Golden Bird". He had told her story over story of Kathryns accomplishments. At the time she hadn't believed all of them but after listening to _Voyagers_ crew and also reading the messages they had written about her she knew that Admiral Janeways stories must have been true. She had never before seen anyone who had inspired such loyalty and she felt honoured to have the privilege to know her. _"If they find her I must get to know her better... no not if... when they find her."_

With that in mind Alynna had made her decision and pressed a button on her comm device. "Sarah please get me all the information you can find on the Borg and their known movements as well as the newest technical advancements for shielding, weapons, scanners and propulsion systems, also the experiential modifications."

"_Admiral?" _Her assistant certainly sounded confused.

"You heard my orders regarding _Voyager. _If they are to find Captain Janeway we better give them all the help we can. They have great minds on that ship and they may find something in there they can use."

"_Aye Admiral."_

"Nechayev out." With those words Alynna stood and went to her window which overlooked the San Francisco bay, her thoughts with a certain Captain. "_Judging by what I have seen today Voyager would not have returned without you Captain Janeway whether I had ordered them to or not. It is amazing what you did with your crew. A normal Starfleet crew, one Maquis crew, 5 outcasts from another Starfleet crew who by all rights are criminals and an assortment of delta quadrant species all formed into one crew. While I did not see it before today you were right all along. When they get you back and you all get home no charges will be filed against any of them or you for that matter. And make no mistake you will come home. We will make sure your crew will find you and you will bring your crew home of that I have no doubts any more. You just stay strong and hold on till we can find you."_

_

* * *

_

3 weeks later in the Borgs central plexus Captain Janeway could actually feel her body weakening. She knew that if it hadn't been for the modified nanoprobes she would already be dead. They healed the damage between each session. Daily she had been tortured and she knew it was only a matter of time till she would break. But she had not given up hope and fought the Queen with everything she had. She had not been idle though, while the Queen could certainly monitor her thoughts she could do the same to her. And she had learned with unbelievable speed not only had she now mastered Telepathy but she also sought out and found a lot of the Queens knowledge. That was a double edged sword though and the one point which tormented her more then anything else. She now knew how to bring her crew home. To have the knowledge but not being able to give it to the crew hurt her more then the actual torture. In fact she was straight smack in the middle of their way home! A borg transwarp hub... she knew there were only 6 of them in the entire galaxy but she also knew how heavily defended it was. And there wasn't a chance in hell _Voyager _would survive that she knew. _"To be so close and yet so far!" _Were her thoughts just as the torture began anew.

She never knew how long these episodes lasted it could have been hours or minutes. She had crumbled to the floor again and made herself into a ball so she could at least halfway keep control of her body.

The Queen was watching her coldly. "Don't have enough yet?"

Quickly Janeway sought to control and hide her thoughts again, these episodes made it hard to control herself and she did not want the Queen to know what she was planning. Quickly she picked her knowledge about Quantum mechanics to hide behind then waited longer then necessary to painfully climb back onto her feet in the hope that the Queen would underestimate her strength and just glared at her when a thought came to her. "Actually why stand back up so much more comfortable to sit." With that she stretched her legs out in front of her and leaned against one of the alcoves. Besides she knew it would infuriate the Queen._ "After all what was that old saying again? May we live in interesting times."_

"Why are you doing that?" The Queen snapped.

"Have you forgotten that I am a lowly human? My feet start hurting when I am on them too much!" Janeway snapped back.

"You have Borg physiology now you can stand all day without pain."

"Fine then I get comfortable another way." Janeway got up and promptly leaned back against the alcove they had given her, with her hand stretched out on top of it on either side of herself. She had to bite back her laughter at the face the Queen now made though halfway regretted it too as in the next second she was once again being tortured. But it seemed she had a minor victory as the Queen stopped it after only seconds and didn't say another word either instead she went to regenerate. _"Finally! I thought she would never go." _At long last she would be able to work on her plan. She sat down again and tried to meditate. _"Species 8472 this is Kathryn Janeway can you hear me?" _Every chance she got she had tried to contact and warn them of what the Queen had planned so far unfortunately with no luck. But she wasn't about to give up, she just had to reach them before all the torture became too much. After all she had never been one to quit she wasn't about to start now.

* * *

The crew of _Voyager _had also not been idle. It had been 6 weeks since their Captain had been abducted and 3 weeks since they had officially got permission to find and rescue Janeway. They would have done so anyway but they all had been aware that in such a case they would have become renegades and contact with home over Pathfinder would have likely been stopped. The entire crew had been pulling double duty ever since and they were determined to find and rescue her. So far their progress had been slow as they couldn't scan for the Captains bio signature at the full range of their Astrometrix lab when at warp.

"_Thank god we managed to get official orders in this. The information we got from Starfleet is truly invaluable, while I never expected her to Admiral Nechayev really came through for us." _B'Elanna Torres thought on her way to the briefing room for the Senior staff meeting. As she stepped into the room she realised she was actually the last one there with everyone else waiting for her. "Sorry I am late I was working on some of the information we got from Starfleet and must have forgotten the time."

"No problem B'Elanna. Judging from your face you must have found something important?" Commander Chakotay looked tired and withdrawn. Everyone knew that he had taken the Captains disappearance the hardest and that he still felt guilty for what had happened. He blamed himself not only for attacking and nearly killing her while drunk but also that he had left her hanging when she had needed him. Put her disappearance on top of that and they had one messed up first officer and acting Captain. The only thing which kept him going was the hope that they could get her back and the entire crew knew it.

"Yes I believe so. While the ablative armor and our transphasic torpedos are miles ahead of what Starfleet has their experimental scanning devices are the most interesting for us. We may be able to alter them enough so we can double or even nearly triple our range and the strength of the signal to look for bio signatures which will enable us to go to warp. Don't get me wrong due to Sevens modification to our Astrometrix lab we are already miles ahead of them but in searching for bio signatures Starfleet has far superior knowledge."

"How long would it take you to get these modifications done?" Came now from Tuvok.

"Well I am hoping a week but it maybe as long as two. I have also send Starfleet most of our information on ablative armor and the torpedos in the hope that they can find something which makes them even more unpredictable and dangerous for the Borg."

"Take as much personnel as you need, this maybe our best chance to find the Captain and is top priority." Commander Chakotay answered her.

"Aye Commander."

Chakotay now turned to Ensign Kim. "Have you had any luck in finding a Borg cube?"

"Yes sir I have found a cube about a day from here. It was travelling at warp 6 till just about 2 hours ago when it came to a complete stop. Unfortunately we have no idea why it stopped it just seems to hang dead in space now. Also another problem if we manage to get some Borg data nodes... Seven and the Captain were our experts in translating them. Without them even if we get the nodes we are at a serious disadvantage. " Harry answered.

Tuvok now spoke up. "Between the Doctor, Lt Torres and myself we should be able to manage. The Doctor has worked with Seven and the Captain on this before so has at least some knowledge on it, Lt Torres is our Chief engineer which is self explanatory and I was at one point connected to the hive mind after all. While it wasn't for long and I certainly didn't retain all the knowledge of it I do have some."

"Good. Tom lay in a course for that cube at warp 7. Tuvok make sure that we have a team ready for the away mission, Holodeck 1 is yours till we get to that cube. Do we have anything else?" The commander looked at everyone for a minute. "No? Then get to work."Everyone but Commander Tuvok quickly left. "Tuvok you got something else?"

Tuvok looked at the Commander for a minute before answering. "Its curious that Seven of Nine left with that resistance cube so shortly before the Captain got kidnapped. Its even more curious considering that the Borg had absolutely no problem matching our shield frequencies."

Chakotay now turned towards the window to watch the stars. "Yes I have thought of that too. But we have not heard from Seven since and we also have no proof just suspicions. For now there is absolutely nothing we can do. Lets concentrate on getting Kathryn back and if we find something which gives us proof Axum will learn just what a mistake he made."

With that Commander Chakotay gave a nod to Commander Tuvok and left to make a visit to Astrometrix so he could update Starfleet Command while Tuvok returned to the bridge.

* * *

In the last several weeks Cube 29673 of the resistance had freed another 7 cubes and their fleet was getting bigger but Seven was still suspicious of Axum and the reason he had come for _Voyager _and with that herself in the first place. 2 weeks ago they had at long last made their way directly into what was supposed the heart of Borg space. But they had found absolutely no sign of the Queen or even a hint as to where she could be since they got here. It slowly began to dawn on the entire crew that the Queen wasn't here at all and they all watched Axum more suspiciously for every day that passed.

Seven had enough of this cat and mouse game and marched straight up to him. "Axum I wish to return to _Voyager_. It is quite obvious that the queen isn't here and I believe that she is in fact somewhere nearer to them then she is to us. We came here believing that we were going to kill the Queen so we could free the other drones in one sweep instead we are slowly liberating them one by one... which also means a lot of dead drones as we have to fight each cube. With our fleet we should be strong enough to lead a direct assault against her and not this game you are playing. It is inefficient."

"Seven is right Axum." Lynne now stepped beside Seven and quite a few other Ex drones looked on curiously and in clear support. "We know that the Queen is after Captain Janeway and we owe her too much to leave her alone in this. Lets return and fight with her."

"_Its been 8 weeks since we left Voyager behind. Lets hope that she had time to do what she wanted. Maybe I can still delay the fleet from going after her. Just a little longer anyway." _Axum who knew very well where the Queen truly was now had to do some quick thinking. "Very well let me do a trajectory of where _Voyager _should be by now."

"I have already done that – here. This is the maximum range they could have come." Seven now spoke up and handed him a PADD.

"Let me see." Axum quickly scanned the PADD and realised that according to it they would still be over 100 light years from the nebula the Queen was in. In fact they would have already passed it. So while it would take them 47 hours to get to the point Seven believed _Voyager _could be by now, they would then have to backtrack if _Voyager_ wasn't there. And the scanners did not work as accurately in transwarp as when they were when using normal warp. So they would have to go to warp speeds which meant it could be weeks before they found _Voyager _never mind the Queen. "Sounds good. Lets go then."

Seven sighed in relief. _"At last. Now I can only hope that nothing has happened to Voyager or Captain Janeway. I never forgive myself for leaving them if this was a trap." _She then looked at Lynne and together they made the cube ready to bring her home.

* * *

Meanwhile Captain Janeway had at long last managed to contact a member of Species 8472, who had been scouting normal space before returning to fluidic space, and after explaining the situation got a promise that he would let their leaders know and then contact her again. All she could do now was wait. Her body had been weakened even more, by now she openly bled when being tortured from her nose, mouth and ears – the nanoprobes just couldn't keep up. She knew she was running out of time but she was determined not to give up. As she had told the Queen she'd rather die then help assimilate Species 8472, who were far too technically advanced, and with that condemn not only humanity but most likely hundreds of other species too. Managing to contact them had given her a boost and for the first time she was optimistic that this would end one way or another - and soon. She was also still using her knowledge on many different subjects to keep her true motives and plans hidden from the Queen and while she did not realise it she was also unconsciously taking more and more advanced knowledge from her.

"_Captain?" _She could feel an alien presence in her mind now.

She looked up and found the Queen still regenerating. _"Yes? It is save to talk."_

"_Captain Janeway, I have spoken to our leaders. We will need about 5 days to assemble a strike force strong enough to take over the nebula you are in. Can you keep the Queen at bay for that long?"_

Honestly Janeway wasn't sure. _"I'm determined to give it my best try."_

"_That is all we can ask. I will be staying here in normal space to at least try and give you moral support while we assemble our troops."_

That cheered her up. _"Well if you are sticking around what can I call you?"_

"_How about the name you called me the last time we met? Boothby._

Now she was shocked. _"You are the same... well person?" _

"_Indeed. While I did not reveal myself from the start it is an honour to speak to you again Captain." _

"_Likewise Boothby. But quiet for now the Queen should be finishing her circle any moment._

What the Captain did not know was that Species 8472 had far superior mental abilities then she possessed even with her upgrades. 'Boothby' had known from the start that the Captain expected to die from the moment she made this plan – that she was ready to as long as it saved other living beings. He and his leaders had agreed that they would try to save her life but they also knew how difficult such an undertaking would be. That is why they needed the 5 days - all they could do was hope that the Captain could wait that long.

* * *

Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, Earth

A day later Alynna Nechayev was alone in her office thinking once again about Captain Janeway and _Voyager. _Over 7 weeks had passed since the Captain had disappeared and the likelihood of getting her back grew dimmer with everyday. 2 days ago they had lost contact with the ship and now they could only wait and hope. She was just about to get herself some food from the replicator when her comm system chirped.

"_Admiral?"_

She gave a little sigh before answering. "Yes what is it Sarah? You do remember that I didn't want to be disturbed apart from an emergency."

"_I'm sorry to disturb you Ma'am but there is a gentleman here who is most insistent on speaking to you. He says it has to do with Captain Janeway and that it is an emergency. He is also wearing one of the outdated uniforms at the rank of an Admiral though he is definitely not one."_

That did indeed pique her curiosity. "Let him in Sarah."

"_Yes Ma'am."_

The person who came into the room not quite a minute later shocked her into silence. _"Sarah was wrong he is an Admiral... but how is this possible?" _There in front of her stood the exact likeness of Admiral Edward Janeway. Everything about him looked exactly as she remembered him to be – right down to the uniform.

"Good afternoon Admiral. As you probably already realised I am not who I appear to be." The man in front of her started.

"How? And why take the appearance of someone who died 20 years ago? You better talk fast before I call security and have you thrown into a cell for impersonating a dead admiral!" Alynna was clearly getting angry.

"Admiral I realise this is a shock but it is imperative that I speak to you. Captain Janeways life hangs in the balance as we speak and we only have very little time left to save her. And for that we need your help – she needs your help."

Now Alynna actually felt a little faint. She clearly didn't understand the world any more, "_Or maybe I have gone mad!"_

"You probably already heard of my people from _Voyager,_ I am a member of Species 8472 or that is what the Borg call us. You are of course free to do so as well as our real name you will be physically unable to speak. Captain Janeway has been in contact with us for a couple days now, she is alive and still in control of herself - she has not been assimilated by the Borg."

Alynna couldn't quite believe this. "Are you trying to tell me that the Borg captured her and then didn't do anything to her?"

"No I am not saying that, there are worse things then assimilation after all. They are trying to break her." The alien could see that the Admiral wasn't quite ready to believe him yet. "Torture Admiral, plain and simple torture. From what we have found out so far she has endured far more then any human before her, especially considering the amount of time she has been on the receiving end of that treatment. Physical and mental torture... it won't be much longer before she breaks. And we need your help to stop it."

He now had her full attention. "From the reports _Voyager _has send your species is far superior to us humans and our allies from the Federation. And I am inclined to believe those reports considering that you showed up here in the form of a dead Admiral. Also there is the not so little matter of the Captain being presumably still in the Delta quadrant."

"That is correct. She is about 35 thousand light years from your space. Actually not too far from where _Voyager _is now as well."

"We do not have the technology to get there any time soon. It would take years and we don't have that long! How do you think we could help?" The Admiral was giving herself a headache just thinking about it.

"I wouldn't be here if I didn't know that you can help. Because yes you can, if we combine our forces. The plan still poses a great risk to the Captain but it is her only chance. She actually contacted us to warn us about an attack the Queen planned on us fully expecting to die as a result of her actions. Something about the means of the many outweighing the needs of the one." The familiar looking alien looked at her sadly now.

Alynna could understand that sentiment all too well. "Alright what do I need to do and how are you planning to get us to the Delta quadrant? If that is what you need us for?"

"Indeed. I need you to assemble your fleet around earth as fast as you can. We are monitoring Captain Janeways condition and we hope to give you 4 days in which to do so but it maybe sooner then that. We want to minimise the risk to her so if she needs us to go in sooner we will. Our best chance for a successful rescue is with your help but we maybe needed to step in sooner. It all depends on her." 'Admiral Janeway' now explained.

"Around earth?" A shocked Nechayev now was glad she was sitting down she really didn't like the sound of this.

"Yes the Captain is currently being held at the entrance to a transwarp hub. One which has an exit less then a light year from here. We have technology which should be able to open that exit so your fleet can go in and travel to the Delta quadrant. If it works, which we believe it will, you will be able to travel to her position in less then 5 minutes. At the same time we will launch our attack from the Delta quadrant."

"Less then a light year! Oh my god the Borg are practically on our doorstep with this transwarp hub! Of course I will assembly the fleet. In fact I get right on it." With that Alynna turned to her computer.

"Thank you Admiral."

* * *

Enterprise E, Planetia Utopia

Only an hour later Captain Picard and most of his senior staff were sitting in the briefing room of their new ship which was supposed to be ready within the next 2 weeks. Only Data was not with them as he was currently on the bridge. They had to get familiar with the new systems and designs as everything even the layout of the ship had changed. They had of course heard about _Voyager _and Captain Janeway who had already become a legend – they all hoped she was a living one. Currently they were engaging in small talk about her and her crew.

"I have never before heard of a crew which was willing to risk quite so much to get their Captain back." Will Riker commented. "To be out there thousands of light years from home is bad enough. But to be willing to go alone and without backup against the Borg? Its only a small intrepid class ship!"

Deanna Troi was nodding right along with everything he said. "Indeed. And did you read the reports the crew send? Every single one of them had something to share about her, to show how much she meant to them."

"I don't think there is anyone in the entire Federation who did not read them." Picard now commented. "She must be an amazing person."

"She is and always has been." Will now threw in.

Geordi now got curious. "You have met her?"

"Yes I met her in the Academy in fact I went on a blind date with her."

Incredulous looks were now thrown his way and Geordi couldn't help himself. "And you let her get away? How could you! No offence Deanna."

Deanna just smiled. "None taken."

Wills voice was now quite low. "She ran away from me before the date really started. I have never found out why she did so."

"She probably knew what a bad influence you would be Will." Beverly now chimed in. Everyone looked at the face Will now made and couldn't help but laugh.

"_Commander Data to Captain Picard."_

Picard had to visible calm himself before answering Data. "Go ahead Data."

"_Captain we have a priority 1 message from Starfleet Command for you."_

That got a raised eyebrow out of the Captain. _"_Route it here please, Picard out."

"I wonder what they want, they know the ship won't be ready for another 2 weeks." Will commented to that.

"Well we are about to find out. Geordi could you activate the screen please?

"Yes sir."

A extremely agitated Admiral Nechayev now showed up on the screen.

"Good afternoon Admiral."

"Not much to be good about so please spare me the pleasantry's Captain and just listen for a minute."

"Yes Admiral." Surprised looks were now shot between the senior staff.

"All of you of course heard about the _U.S.S. Voyager _and what has happened to Captain Janeway_?_" Nods all around so the Admiral continued. "Not quite an hour ago I was contacted by one of the species they have met on their travels. The Captain is still alive and has not been assimilated."

"Admiral sorry to interrupt you but a Delta quadrant species contacted you directly? How is that possible? And how would they know how the captain is?" Picard now couldn't help himself.

"Because they are far more advanced then we are. And their home is not the Delta quadrant, it is what they call Fluidic space. Their Borg designation is Species 8472 I have already send you all the info we have from _Voyager _regarding their race. We have 4 days maybe less to get as much of the fleet in orbit around Earth as we can. Can you work a miracle and get your ship not only combat ready but also to Earth in that time? We will need you." Nechayev now looked at them impatiently waiting for an answer.

Dumbfounded looks were now thrown at the Admiral and the Captain once again spoke up. "To Earth? Whatever for?"

"I have already send you all the info you will need. Suffice to say you will be going into combat against the Borg and hopefully we will be coming out of it as winners and with Captain Janeway back with us. So? Can you do it?"

Captain Picard now looked into the eyes of each of his senior staff and saw only determination. With resolve he turned back to the Admiral. "We will be there."

"Thank you Captain. Nechayev out."

* * *

Starfleet Headquarters, San Francisco, Earth

The next day Headquarters was chaos, every single ship in range had been recalled to earth. Most of them did not even know why. 27 ships were already in orbit with more coming in every hour and all of them had been ordered to come at top speed.

Admiral Paris was at Pathfinder trying to make contact with _Voyager _when Gretchen Janeway and her youngest daughter showed up in front of him, he was clearly startled. "What are you two doing here?"

"Owen there are enough rumours going round about all these ships being recalled and that they have been told to be combat ready. I want the truth... is this about Kathryn?" Gretchen didn't wait around to ask what she wanted.

Owen hesitated a bit too long.

"So it is. I don't know how this is possible but we want in!" Phoebe now stated.

"That isn't possible."

"Oh come of it Owen! Do you really expect us to wait here while you are out there fighting for her? Would you do that if it were Tom?" Gretchen glared at him.

Gretchen was clearly angry and he remembered the Janeway temper too well. He actually gulped and stepped back in fear at her glare which was so much like her daughters – both of them come to think of it as he could clearly see an identical glare coming from Phoebe. "No I wouldn't... and you won't either just stop giving me that look already!"

The glares hadn't diminished yet and instead seemed to be going up a notch. "Where, when and which ship do we board?"

"Enterprise E... be here in 3 hours. You can beam up with me."

At long last the glares subsided. "Good boy. We will be here." With that both Gretchen and Phoebe turned around and quickly left.

Lt Barclay now came up beside the Admiral. "A-A-Admiral I believe you are lu-lu-lucky to be alive."

"Yes and this does explain how Kathryn Janeway and _Voyager_ survived this long in the Delta quadrant. Every alien would have turned tail after seeing that glare. No matter how big!" Commander Harkins put his own two cents in.

"Indeed." Came the dry answer from Owen who was using a tissue to wipe the fear from his face.

* * *

Meanwhile 'Boothby' was monitoring Captain Janeway in concern with his mental abilities. While he knew that she was alive and currently regenerating he could feel her getting weaker with every passing minute which as far as he knew should not be possible as regenerating should help her body heal. She had been tortured for nearly the entire day as the Queen was getting impatient with her inability to break the Captain. He had managed to help her by shielding her inner most thoughts for her but he felt guilty for not being able to do more – all he could do was watch, literally!Unfortunately for the Captain they weren't quite ready to bring the Federation fleet through the Transwarp hub and he knew her life depended on that which is why they hadn't stepped in yet.

"_Kathryn hold on. Help is on its way! Just one more day please."_

An answer was slow in coming but it did. "_I… try... Boothby..."_

_

* * *

_

_**There you have it! Review now or no new chapter!**  
_


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Enterprise E, Orbit around Earth, Alpha Quadrant

It had been 2 days since Admiral Nechayev had given the order for all ships to return to Earth and to be combat ready. Captain Picard and his crew had worked round the clock to be here and had managed in record time. They were currently waiting for their last passengers, which would include Admirals Nechayev, Paris, Patterson, Lts Barclay and Sarah Fields as well as the Janeway family, while finishing some system checks. The Admirals would then make an announcement to the fleet regarding their mission about which most of the fleet had so far no idea. Captain Picard and his number one were currently on their way to Transporter room 1 to greet their guests who should be beaming up within the next 10 minutes.

"Sir, how do you think this Species 8472 will bring us to the Delta quadrant? I have read the reports on them of course but this does seem preposterous. What happens if we are stuck in the Delta quadrant like _Voyager _already is?" Will Riker asked his Captain and friend.

Picard was deep in thought about these things as well but had to admit he was just as stumped."I have no idea number one. We will just have to wait and see for now. The Admirals should have more info for us as well. After all they did already make it clear that they would make a Fleet wide announcement after they get here."

"Alright Sir." Just as Will answered this the two of them stepped into the Transporter room and Picard gave the signal to the attending Ensign to beam their guests up.

Both of the officers were surprised to see not only as thought Gretchen Janeway and her youngest daughter but also whom they believed to be Phoebes husband and 2 children behind the Admirals and their encourage.

Picard stepped up to greet his guests. "Welcome to the Enterprise Admirals, Lts and also to you Mrs Janeway and your family. I hope you are all well."

Admiral Nechayev spoke up first. "Captain Picard we don't have much time, I have to speak to the Fleet as soon as possible to give them all their orders and the information we got. Can you please escort us to the bridge?"

"Of course sir. Will any of your party need an escort to their quarters?" While asking this Picard especially glanced at the Janeways whom he did not believe should be privy to the information.

"Phoebe and I will come with you but Steven and the Kids will need to be shown to our quarters." Gretchen spoke up and glared at them all in such a way that it was clear she was coming whether they liked it or not. Nechayev had to hide her smile as she watched everyone else take a step back in fear.

"_So that is the famous Janeway glare – impressive." _Picard thought and gave Ensign Mayers at the controls a sign to escort Mr Johnsten and the two children to their assigned quarters. "I did not expect anything less Ma'am, please follow me I will show you the way."

Not quite 2 minutes later the entire group was on the bridge where the rest of Picards senior staff apart from Geordi La Forge, who was in main engineering, already were. "Data please open a channel for the Admirals to the entire fleet." Picard now ordered.

"Aye sir. The channel is open."

Alynna now stepped forward to speak while Admiral Paris gave Data a PADD which held information about their mission. "This is Admiral Nechayev on board of the _U.S.S. Enterprise, _by now all of you should have received a transmission which holds information on our primary mission. As you all know Captain Janeway from the _U.S.S Voyager, _which had been lost to us 7 years ago into the Delta quadrant, has been kidnapped by the Borg 8 weeks ago. 2 days ago I was contacted by one of the Species they have met in their travels with information regarding her whereabouts which is why you are all here now." Alyanna now took a deep breath before explaining further. "They are known as Species 8472, _Voyager _met them a couple years ago, and they are far superior to anything we in the Federation have. With their help we will travel to the Delta quadrant to not only fight against the Borg but also in the hope of freeing the Captain and bringing her and _Voyager _home. From the information they have given me Captain Janeway is currently being held by the Borg Queen herself at the entrance to a Transwarp hub which is similar to a Wormhole and has an exit less then a light year from Earth. Contrary to what was thought so far the Captain has not been assimilated but instead is being tortured by the Queen on a daily basis in the hope that she will break and help the Borg assimilate first Species 8472 and then us."

Horrified understanding now dawned on everyone and Picard threw a quick look at Deanna Troi to help the Janeway family who nodded in understanding at him.

"You should all now understand our primary mission. Not only do we have to take that Transwarp hub to ensure the safety of Earth and the Federation but we also have to try and free Captain Janeway. Species 8472 have told me they are hoping to give us all together 4 days to be ready, of which 2 days have already passed, but that this depends primary on Captain Janeway and how much more she can take. They and we will attack sooner then planned if the Captain is in immediate danger of breaking. She is the one who telepathically managed to warn Species 8472..." In that moment Alynna got interrupted by Data.

"Admiral we are detecting a massive gravimetric distortion which, according to the data we have, is a sign of Species 8472."

"On screen." Picard now ordered.

They all now watched as a rift opened in subspace and 4 bioships came out who were pulling a fifth larger structure which seemed to be a massive space port.

"We are being hailed, looks like the communication is going to the entire Fleet as well." Worf spoke up.

"Open a channel."

A large alien now filled the screen who used a hypospray to inject himself and then transformed into a Bajoran woman who looked suspiciously like Commander Kira from Deep Space 9. "Greetings Admiral Nechayev, I hope that your Fleet will be ready soon."

"We currently have 38 ships in orbit around Earth who are ready to go at a moments notice with another 53 on its way." Nechayev answered her. "Does this mean that Captain Janeway has taken a turn for the worse?"

"I won't lie to you Admiral she is in a bad way but we still have some time. While Captain Janeway is not aware of your involvement in our plan she is adamant in giving us the full 5 days we originally asked her for. While she is getting weaker she is still arguing with our contact to her that we do have the time. Are all of you humans this stubborn?" The Alien couldn't help herself to ask.

Gretchen and Phoebe snorted and everyone turned to look at them. "Typical Katie, I see the last 7 years haven't changed her at all." Phoebe commented.

"Just like her father." Gretchen now threw in with a small sad smile.

'Kira' looked at the two of them sadly. "You must be the Captains family." Twin nods answered her. "You should know that she came to warn us of the plan the Queen had knowing that any attack by us on the Borg complex could mean her death. In fact she expected it as she knew how advanced we are. She did it so we, you and many other species would not be condemned to extermination. That is a courage we have seldom seen in anyone... I promise you that every single member of my species who is involved in this operation will do everything in their power to bring the Captain back alive."

Gretchen had to bite back her tears. "Thank you."

The Alien now turned back to the Admirals. "Admirals we have someone constantly monitoring the Captain and her condition. As already spoken about if the danger to her becomes too much we will step in earlier then planned, our Fleet is ready to be deployed at a moments notice. Please watch this space station as in the case of an emergency we will open the Transwarp hub as fast as we can so you can go through without much of a warning. We have another 20 smaller ships whom we will deploy here in case of a retaliation attack to protect your home planet. Please make your plans accordingly."

"Understood."

"Space station Alpha 1 out."

* * *

Back on _Voyager _in the Delta Quadrant the crew had also not been idle. It had been 4 days since they had successfully infiltrated the dead Borg cube which seemingly had been deactivated after a massive attack by Species 8472. While most of the systems had still been operational every drone they had found was dead. They had then begun a massive salvage operation and had been busy translating the data blocks which luckily held the information of the whereabouts of Captain Janeway. They had then started contacting their few allies to ask for help in attacking the Borg complex. While most were cautious and fearful of the Borg they had managed to make an alliance with 3 species and now had a fleet of 23 ships which would help them fight. This they only managed for 2 reasons... For one the Borg complex was very near to the space these species occupied and two the name Kathryn Janeway carried a lot of weight even here so far from home.

Commander Chakotay was in the Captains ready room going through some reports and plans for the assault. "_I must admit I always thought Kathryn was the more reckless of us but this plan takes it all. I really must apologise for it when we get her back." _He had to chuckle at that thought. He was in fact so deep in thought that he failed to hear the door chime.

B'Elanna Torres had been waiting for 5 minutes already so she manually over rode the door lock and cautiously stuck her head in the door. "Chakotay can I come in?"

"Hmm? Oh sure B'Elanna. What's up?" Chakotay had to admit to himself that he had not expected that and chided himself silently about watching his surroundings more.

"Here is the latest data on the fleet, we should all be in position and ready to attack in about 12 hours." B'Elanna handed him a PADD and just stood there quietly watching him. "You still feel guilty... you shouldn't you know? The Captain never once blamed you for what happened."

The Commander sighed. "I nearly killed her B'E... every time I close my eyes I see myself slamming her into that wall again and again."

"You weren't yourself old man..."

"Wrong! It was me who drunk all that Alcohol! Me! No one else. I should never have lost control. Kathryn has every right to hate me, I let her down when she needed me." Chakotay was clearly loosing his cool.

"She doesn't and she will prove that to you as soon as we get her back. It won't be long now Chakotay – I promise."

Chakotay looked at her sadly. "By the spirits I hope so B'E I really do."

* * *

Several hours later in the Borg Complex the Captain finished her latest regeneration circle and stepped from the alcove to find herself alone. That was an unexpected reprieve and she cautiously struck out with her mind to see what was going on. The Queen seemed busy with something, though she could not discern what, and she decided to use this time to get some more rest. According to her alcove she had been regenerating for 18 hours which was a new record. "_I suppose the session yesterday took a while to 'repair'. It seemed so much worse then what I have become to expect. Haven't felt this bad 'waking up' from regenerating before either." _

She could now feel the Queen invading her thoughts. _"Had enough yet Captain? I assure you I can still make it a lot worse. You will submit to me and soon." _

Janeway could practically see the smile on the Queens face._ "I wouldn't be so sure of that." _She snapped back in her mind.

"_Btw Did you ever figure out how we managed to capture you so easily?"_

"_I don't think that was hard to figure out. Axum or one of his people must have figured out the Voyager codes for you. I believe it was Axum as he had the most opportunities to do it."_

"_Bravo Captain, you are right it was him. How does it feel to know he was the one who delivered you to me? What would you do if you could speak to him again?" _

Janeway now closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "_I would kill him... I am only Human after all."_

"_Temper temper dear Captain." _Came the mocking answer. The next second the pain started again and once more Janeway fell down and rolled into a ball. _"This can stop you know? All you have to do is help me."_

"_No..." _Was the last coherent thought Janeway could make.

* * *

Enterprise E, Orbit around Earth, Alpha Quadrant

Captain Picard and Admiral Nechayev had been in his ready room for several hours going over tactics. Each hour more ships had come into Orbit around Earth and by now their fleet held a massive 54 ships ready to go into combat with another 37 on the way. Under the ones in orbit there were 13 which would not make the journey with them and instead stay to protect Earth. Hopefully if it came to an attack they would get help from the other 37 ships who were still on their way. They knew this was risky but they had to trust in Species 8472 and the promised help. They needed their strongest ships in the Delta quadrant and they knew it. They were just about to send the 13 ships they wanted to stay in Orbit their orders when the comm system interrupted them.

"_Commander Worf to Admiral Nechayev."_

"Go ahead."

"_Admiral a communication from a Klingon Bird of Prey is hailing us."_

Nechayev and Picard looked at each other in surprise before Alynna answered. "Put them through."

"_Aye Admiral!"_

When the view screen activated both of them were surprised to see the current political leader of the Klingon Empire.

"Admiral, Captain, I am Chancellor Martok of the Klingon Empire. While you do not need to know how we have come to our information the Empire knows about the abduction of Captain Janeway in the Delta quadrant and the plan you have hatched to get her back. I would like to formally offer our help in this fight, a Fleet of 30 ships is already on its way to Earth and should arrive in orbit within the hour."

"_Well that was forward." _Picard thought and looked at the Admiral.

Alynna was quietly watching the Chancellor. "You know that this could mean getting stuck over 35.000 light years from here?"

"Yes I am aware. I should also mention that another Fleet from the Romulan Empire is on its way as well and should arrive at the same time."

Now both Picard and Nechayev were clearly startled. "Romulans?" They exclaimed loudly as if they were one.

The Chancellor just nodded at them. "The threat from the Borg is too great. We should all fight together to insure the survival of our races."

Alynna now took a deep breath before answering. "You are of course correct Chancellor we just didn't expect this at all. I will let the Fleet know and we will await your arrival."

"Very well, I will see you in an hour Admiral, Captain. Martok out."

After the view screen switched off silence settled into the room with the Admiral and Captain just staring at each other.

"God help us all." Is all that Picard could murmur and the Admiral nodded in agreement.

* * *

Unknown position in the Delta Quadrant

'Boothby' had been watching and silently helping Captain Janeway protect herself for the last several hours but now started to become more and more concerned. The Captain had already been through 6 hours of uninterrupted torture and while she had not given in he knew it was only a matter of time now. While the torture in itself was nothing new it had never before run continuously for such a long amount of time. Determined he send a message to his leaders to start the attack and then telepathically took as much of the pain the Captain endured onto himself as he could while moving towards the site of the nebula himself. He knew this could mean that the Queen would be able to detect his presence in the Captains mind but he couldn't watch any more, he just had to help her.

"_Hold on Kathryn we are coming for you!"_

Unfortunately this time there was no answer.

* * *

Enterprise E, Orbit around Earth, Alpha Quadrant

Alynna, Owen Paris and Matt Patterson were once again in the Captains ready room, though this time they had kicked the Captain out, finalising their new combat plans. 41 ships from their own fleet, the 30 Klingon ships and then the 20 Romulan ships would be going in waves of 15 into the Delta quadrant with a pause of 2 minutes between each wave. So long as Earth wasn't attacked the Federation would be able to send more ships if it was needed but all of them hoped it would not come to that. As agreed with the Klingons and Romulans the Admirals on the Enterprise would be coordinating the entire attack as only Starfleet, through the Pathfinder project, had the technology to send transmissions to the Delta quadrant and back. It would have to be perfectly coordinated and planned so the three of them were certainly busy.

"Each ship has the _Voyager _technology to contact Pathfinder?" Alynna asked Owen.

"Yes our Fleet and the Klingon Fleet have it just like we spoke about." He answered.

Matt now interrupted. "Are you sure it is wise not to give it to the Romulans?

Alynna glared at him. "Do you really want to give such powerful technology to what amounts as our enemy's? The Romulans maybe helping us now but you know as well as I do that they will stab us in the back as soon as this is over!"

"Maybe it is time we give them a bit of trust. Having this kind of technology isn't exactly a security risk none of us have the ability to travel as far as that. What happened to _Voyager _is really a fluke in that point. Maybe this is what is needed to bring peace and friendship between our races." Matt argued.

"He is right Alynna." Owen pointed out.

Alynna was now quiet and just looked at the two of them for a long time. "Alright send them the info on the technology with the promise that they can use it also if we get stuck out there which after all is a strong possibility."

"Thank you Fleet Admiral." Matt now said and moved to send the info. Alynna was still their boss so she had the last word in such things and both Owen and Matt knew it.

Before they could say another word the comm system interrupted them._"Picard to Admiral Nechayev." _

"Go ahead Captain."

"_Its starting Admiral. The space station has moved to open the Transwarp hub."_

The 3 Admirals now looked at each other in alarm, they knew this must mean that either Janeways life was in jeopardy or she was in danger of breaking. None of them could decide which was worse they only knew that according to the information they had this was happening 2 days too early.

"You know what to do Captain, take us in as soon as possible." Nechayev answered at last.

* * *

Borg central complex, Entrance to Transwarp hub, Delta Quadrant

This time Janeway knew for sure her time was running out, she was even bleeding from her eyes which had never happened to her before. The Queen had stopped torturing her 20 minutes ago and she still did not have the strength to even move her head never mind getting back on her feet so she just lay on the floor quietly watching the Queen work.

"We are being attacked by Species 8472... they are just outside the nebula. How is this possible?" The Queens eyes narrowed in suspicion at Janeway. "YOU! How have you done this? And why?"

Janeway had to gasp for every breath so answered the question from her mind. _ "You may not understand this but there is an old Earth saying 'The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the one.' You can do what you want to me but I would never help you assimilate Species 8472 or Humanity for that reason alone. You yourself gave me the power to reach out with my mind or have you forgotten that little fact? While it took me a while to learn it I was desperate enough and again through you I got the knowledge and experience to make this work. I am ready to die if it means the survival of others."_

"I always thought the survival instinct you Humans have would prevent you from essentially killing yourself, it did work with Seven of Nine. I did not assimilate you so you would have hope of rescue which would make that instinct that much stronger."

Janeway smirked. "_You were wrong. Yes I did and still do want this to end and one way or another it will – today. It ends here."_

In that moment an explosion rocked the complex and the Queen turned to a console while proceeding to ignore the Captain whom she believed too weak to pose a threat. Another explosion rocked the complex and Janeway fell into blessed unconsciousness after hitting a console with her head.

* * *

Transwarp hub on way to Delta Quadrant

Alynna had left the safety of the Captains ready room with the other 2 Admirals and was now on the bridge from where she could better coordinate the attack.

"30 seconds before the exit sir." Commander Data informed the bridge.

"Any idea what's out there yet?" Picard asked.

"No sir, our sensors can't penetrate that far." Worf answered.

"Get ready! Here we go!" Riker warned them now.

In that moment the Fleet shot out on the other side and they all stared in horror at the battlefield before them. There were hundreds of cubes all around them, around 100 bioships had engaged them and while there was also a lot of debris it was made clear again just by looking at it that this wouldn't be easy. Powerful allies or not – there were just too many cubes. And the debris gave them another problem factor on top of that. The _Enterprise _was just too large to easily manoeuvre through it and they had 2 more which were a similar size!

Alynna calculated all that in before giving her orders to the Fleet. "We have 3 big ships which will have trouble moving through this much debris, all of them will scan for Captain Janeways bio signature. 4 of the smaller ships will each go with 1 big one to help protect them and each other. When you find the Captain let us know and then send 2 away teams of 6 to the cube she is in. All ships will then converse on that position to help each other."

"Aye Admiral!"

* * *

Less then a light year from the Nebula _Voyager_ and its fleet of allies was also getting ready to enter the battle though they of course had no idea that it had already begun. They still had not been able to penetrate the Nebula with their sensors which was why they had delayed entering it till they could gather some more information.

Chakotay was agitated and pacing on the bridge while conversing over the comm system with the leaders of the other ships in the fleet. "Our Chief Engineer is currently in our Astrometrix lab trying to reconfigure the sensors so we can scan the Nebula. Have your ships been able to detect anything yet?"

"Unfortunately not and Commander I hope you are aware that we can't wait much longer. One way or another the Borg will detect us soon. And we either need to be in that Nebula by then or as far away as we can manage. Without the information none of us will go in there though. It is just too dangerous."

Chakotay already knew this. "Yes you have been clear on that before Ambassador..."

"_Torres to Commander Chakotay."_

The Commander now perked up in the hope that B'Elanna had something they could use. "Yes B'Elanna go ahead."

"_Commander we think we may have found something. We aren't 100% sure but we believe we are detecting debris in that Nebula and a lot of it as well as weapons fire. It seems to be a mix of Borg, bio signatures similar to what we know Species 8472 to be and..." _Now B'Elanna clearly took a deep breath in surprise. _"As well as Federation, Klingon and Romulan signatures Commander."_

Dumbfounded expressions of shock could now be clearly seen on the faces of all members of the bridge crew. Chakotay himself had to take a deep breath before asking: "How is this possible?"

"_Honestly I have no idea Chakotay but that is what our sensors are telling us here."_

"B'Elanna is correct Commander, I am detecting the same here." Harry Kim interjected.

A determined look now came onto the Commanders face. "Red alert, all hands to battle stations! We are going into that nebula now."

Over the comm system shouts of protests could be heard from the other ships.

He just snapped back this time. "Quiet! I know you want more information but if our scanners are correct our people are in that Nebula. Whether you want to follow us in now or not we are going. Tom lay in a course and get us in there." He made a hand signal to Tuvok at the same time to close the connection to the other ships.

"Aye sir."

Chakotay now thought of something else. "And B'Elanna after we get in there start scanning for the Captain!"

"_I already am Chakotay!"_

_

* * *

_

Enterprise E, Inside the Nebula

They had been in here for 20 minutes and the battle was not going well Alynna knew. The more they fought the more debris started piling on around them, only Datas abilities kept them alive and moving. While by now the entire Fleet of 91 of their Alpha Quadrant ships was in here they had also lost a lot of those ships. The Romulans only had 2 left, the Klingons 13 and they themselves had lost 12 so far, which included the entire entourage of the ships protecting the Enterprise, and brought the Federation ships down to 29. At that moment yet another shot hit them and everyone on the bridge was thrown off balance.

"Direct hit on our aft shields, shields down to 20%!" Worf reported.

"Reroute power to our shields!" Riker ordered.

"No effect!" Data reported.

Yet another volley hit them.

"Shields down and another wave is coming!"

"Data get us out of here!" Picard now ordered.

"Too much debris Captain we have nowhere to go!"

"Brace for impact!"

In that moment another ship came out of nowhere and hit the torpedos coming for the _Enterprise _with their phasers_,_ then used their own torpedos to destroy the already heavily damaged Cube attacking them which then exploded.

"Is that...?" Commander Riker trailed off as he stared at the view screen.

"That is _Voyager_!" Admiral Patterson said now clearly in awe.

"We are being hailed." Worf reported.

"On screen." Nechayev ordered.

On the view screen they could now clearly see the bridge crew of the _U.S.S_ _Voyager _who were grinning at them.

"What a surprise it is to see you here... seems like we came in at the right moment. And as you can probably see we brought some help of our own." Commander Chakotay told them. And indeed they could detect another 20 to them unknown ships. "How long till you can get your shields back up?"

Captain Picard now turned to look at Commander Worf who answered the question. "About 2 maybe 3 minutes sir."

The Commander now nodded at them. "Understood. We will try our best to protect you in the meantime."

"And we will continue scanning for Captain Janeway. Can you have an away team ready in case we detect her?" Picard now asked.

"We already have them ready to go waiting in our transporter room. If your away team leader can contact Commander Tuvok they can coordinate."

Picard now signalled Worf to get ready who immediately left. "Thank you Commander. Enterprise out."

* * *

Meanwhile Captain Janeway was once again conscious and watching the Queen while trying to gather strength so she could stand up. She already knew that there was a massive battle going on and also knew she had to do something to give Species 8472 the best possible advantage to win, just the how she wasn't too sure about. Slowly she managed to get into a standing position without making the Queen aware of it. She wasn't very steady on her feet and had to hold herself up with her arms but it was progress. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes for a moment to get rid of the dizziness then looked around for a weapon she could use. As yet another explosion rocked the cube, during which she only barely managed to remain standing, she found a piece of debris which she could use against the Queen. She grabbed it and then moved to the Queen before ramming her 'weapon' into her unprotected neck with all the strength she had, unknowingly also hitting the Queens neural receiver. Luckily yet another explosion rocked the cube only a second later so she was thrown a few meters away before the Queen could retaliate.

Just as the Queen stood up she froze in shock and seemed frozen in a half risen posture. "The voices... where are the voices?" Her head snapped towards the Captain. "What have you done? Why can't I hear the others?"

A small triumphant grin now came onto Janeways face. "Looks like I 'liberated' you from the collective. What are you going to do now that you are small and unimportant?" She couldn't help herself and started laughing at the Queen.

"Now... now you die!"

"Oh _honestly! I should really learn to keep my damn mouth shut!" _Janeway thought just as a deadly dance began.

* * *

10 minutes later outside the cube the battle had not been going well for either of the Alpha or Delta Quadrant species fighting the Borg. Only the bioships really seemed to be making a dent when from one second to another 95% of the remaining Borg ships stopped attacking and just seemed to be floating in space. The Enterprise could only watch in surprise when they were once again hailed by the crew of the _Voyager__._

"While I have no idea what is going on with the Borg most of their shielding seems to be down and we have detected Captain Janeways bio signature in one of the cubes. I hope your team is ready Captain Picard because we are sending our team in now." Commander Chakotay informed them as soon as he showed up on the screen.

"Understood Commander just send us the coordinates and our team will beam over too." Picard answered.

"Your team should have it now." The Commander answered after getting a nod from Ensign Kim.

In that moment 6 members of Species 8472 materialised on the _Enterprise _bridge. 1 was in front of the others who seemed to be standing around in a circle protecting something in their middle. Neither the _Voager _crew nor the _Enterprise _one could see what that was though. They were in their true forms which made communications a bit harder but Alynna could now 'hear' one of them in her mind.

"_We need one of your Doctors, which one can we trust?" _She was asked.

She was confused for a second before understanding dawned on her face. "Captain get Dr Crusher here now! Beam her if you have to but get here her!"

Picard gave her a surprised look before nodding to Data to do it. Not quite 30 seconds later Beverly Crusher materialised on the bridge.

The Doctor looked around confused for a second before she snapped at Picard. "Really could you not have given me some warning?"

"I believe you have a patient behind you Doctor." Alynna interrupted.

Now everyone looked in confusion from the Admiral to the 6 members of species 8472 and back before Beverly spoke up again. "Admiral I have no idea about their physiology how do you expect me to treat them?"

"_Not us. We want you to treat Captain Janeway." _They all could now clearly hear in their minds and when they looked at the Aliens again they stepped aside to give free view of an unconscious and quite obviously severely injured Kathryn Janeway who lay in the arms of a very confused former Borg drone.

"She... she killed the... Q-Queen and freed us."

Both sites of the view screen just stared in shock.


	6. Chapter 6

For those who were lucky enough to see this chapter pop up before I apologise, I had to delete it. My family was visiting and when I left the room for some sandwiches one of them posted my unfinished draft as chapter 6 without my approval or prior knowledge. I usually work that way but they didn't know that the finished chapters go under "Endgame (number here)" on my computer and posted the draft which was filed as Chapter 6. Some parts have been added while others are for the next chapter. Once again I'm very sorry!

**Chapter 6**

Enterprise E, Inside the Nebula, Delta Quadrant

10 minutes had passed since the battle had ended and Captain Janeway had just been transported to the sickbay of the _U.S.S. Voyager _together with Dr Crusher, the Aliens – who had refused to leave the Captain – and the lone Borg_. Enterprises _own sickbay had been too damaged to treat the Captain and there was also the fact that no one had more experience with Borg implants then the EMH. "_Beverlys face was a picture when she realised that she would have to work with him." _Picard thought in amusement as he remembered all too well how much she hated the EMH program. He and everyone else were starting to come out of the shock they got at the remark the Borg had made and everything was slowly going back to normal.

"How many of our Fleet have survived the battle and what is their current status?" Matt Patterson asked from behind him.

"Our scanners have trouble penetrating very far into the Nebula so I can't be sure but I believe 1 Romulan, 5 Klingon, 7 of the Alien ships _Voyager _brought with them and 12 of our own ships are still intact though all have taken significant damage. I can't be sure about the bioships as our scanners can't penetrate them at all." Data reported.

"_Out of a Fleet of 112 only 25 ships survived. Should I be relieved that we survived considering how many have died?" _The Captain couldn't help but think morbidly and sighed deeply. "What is our own status? And how long will repairs take?"

Worf, who had returned a couple minutes ago, now spoke up. "25 injured none of them seriously, no casualty's. Most of our systems have taken severe damage and we will be unable to enter the Transwarp hub in this state as it will rip us apart. I estimate that repairs could take as long as 3 weeks as we don't have access to a space dock."

"Is the Transwarp hub even still accessible? The fighting was all around it after all." Alynna now asked.

"Unknown at this time Admiral. There is too much interference not just from the Nebula but also due to the debris."

"Hail the other ships then and let them know to meet up outside the Nebula. Hopefully _Voyager _knows a safe place where we can work to repair the ships in case there are other unfriendly ships around. Captain Picard please send one of your shuttles to find out the state of the Transwarp hub." The Admiral ordered and took a deep breath before continuing. "Also let the remaining Borg cubes know that if they need our Aid they will get it so long as their weapon and shield systems stay powered down."

"Aye Admiral." Came now from Picard who ordered his crew to do as she said and then send Will Riker to gather a team and take a shuttle.

"Oh before I forget someone please let the Janeway family know that the Captain has been rescued and for them to meet us in transporter room 1 so we can beam to _Voyager_." Nechayev added then promptly left the bridge with the other admirals through the turbolift.

"I don't think we would have survived Mrs Janeway if we had forgotten that." Will murmured and gulped in fear at the thought alone.

* * *

Voyager, Inside the Nebula, Delta Quadrant

Sickbay was chaotic ever since Captain Janeway had been beamed in. As if counting the original group which had been beamed in from the _Enterprise _wasn't enough their own doctor, Lt Paris and Commander Tuvok, who had brought a security content of 4 with him, were there before lastly the 3 Admirals and the Janeway family and Counsellor Troi also came in. "_Which of course just had to be the scene I wake up to. Though it is very nice to hear, all this noise is a bit much right now." _Kathryn Janeway thought while keeping her eyes closed and not moving to keep stock of her injury's.

Beverly meanwhile had realised that her patient was awake and asked for quiet before speaking to her. "Captain, can you hear me?"

"Yes, please get me Commander Tuvok if you can." Janeway spoke quietly but she still hadn't opened her eyes.

"I am here Captain." Tuvok now spoke up and stepped up beside her.

At long last her eyes opened and she looked Tuvok deeply in the eyes before speaking. "In my jacket you will find a cortical node. It's the Queens, take it." Knowing that the official business was over for now she quietly lay back again.

Tuvok took the jacket from Lt Paris who handed it to him before speaking. "I understand Captain." He knew that the node would reveal the entire ordeal she had gone through and he swore to himself that he would not show what it contained to anyone without her express permission before stepping back and leaving sickbay altogether.

Janeway could now feel a hand on her shoulder which definitely wasn't human and opened her eyes again to find the lead Alien hovering over her.

"_Kathryn with your agreement I would like to stay with you for a while. My team will have to leave though. Can you ask your staff to lower the shields so they can please?"_

"_Yes to both of your questions Boothby. Let me tell them quickly." _With that she turned to the EMH and asked him to relay the message to Commander Chakotay on the bridge before turning back to him. _"Thank you for everything Boothby."_

"_No Kathryn, we have to thank you. We all owe you a large debt and please don't argue with me about this. You are injured and need treatment. Rest for now we will speak again soon."_

The Doctor now had reached the end of his patience, hologram or not enough was enough. "I have to ask everyone to leave now. The Captain needs urgent treatment and we should not delay any longer." As he said this he injected a hypospray into the Captains neck to put her to sleep so he could treat her. Within seconds they all had to watch in horror as she started to convulse in pain.

* * *

3 hours later Commander Chakotay was on his way to his quarters when he came upon a upset but still composed Gretchen Janeway who was standing in front of the Captains quarters. He didn't know her but he could see the resemblance Kathryn had to her and from that straight away knew who she was. "Mrs Janeway, I thought you were still in sickbay?"

"Hello Commander. No... I left there about 2 and a half hours ago and have just been wandering this ship. I couldn't watch Kathryns suffering any more so left to give the medical staff time to treat her. She woke not long after we got here and she seemed so composed but when your doctor tried putting her to sleep she started convulsing... Watching her like that... is it a taste of what she has been through these last couple months? How could anyone put someone through that?" Gretchen asked with tears in her eyes.

"Mrs Janeway..."

Gretchen interrupted Chakotay before he could speak further. "No, I know you are only trying to help me but... could you just let me into my daughters quarters? I want to be alone for a while and maybe there I can rest. I don't want to return to the _Enterprise. _I know as first officer you are one of the few people who can open the door for me."

"Of course Ma'am." With a nod to her he quickly keyed in his override code and let her get in.

"Thank you Commander, I will probably see you again later." With that Gretchen promptly closed the door behind her, then turned and looked at the rooms which had belonged to her daughter for over 7 long years. Curiously she looked around but this first room didn't seem to have many of Kathryns personal items so she stepped into the sleeping area. _"This is better." _She thought as she could now see her daughters belongings in every corner. When she came upon the night table she found several holoimagers from earlier and happier times. She picked up one which was over 20 years old and showed their entire family as it was then. As tears started rolling down her face she touched first the image of Kathryn and then that of her dead husband. _"Edward please help her get through this. I can't lose her again... I really can't."_

_

* * *

_

6 hours later _Voyagers_ mess hall had been closed for everyone. Unfortunately none of the other ships which had the space to take all the officers were in any state to host such a big group so all but one of each Federation ships senior staff had been ordered there by Admiral Nechayev for a briefing on their situation. Only _Voyagers _and_ Enterprises _senior staff wasn't fully presented due to not only Captain Janeways continued stay in sickbay but also due to the fact that B'Elanna Torres had gone into labour 7 hours earlier. The chief medical officers of both ships were also still sequestered in sickbay treating them. They had moved the tables so that each ships staff could now be seen sitting together with the 3 Admirals at another table in front of them.

Taking a deep breath first Alynna started the briefing. "Alright this is our situation. The entrance to the Transwarp hub has collapsed and as we feared it might be, we are now stuck here together with the _U.S.S. Voyager. _The lone remaining member of Species 8472 here on this ship has told me that unfortunately they can not open it again as there was too much damage done to this part of the hub. He did give me information though for another exit place of the hub which he assured me his people could open for us. Unfortunately for us it will take us 3 years to get to that location."

Admiral Patterson now took over. "Due to the fact that Voyager has been here for a while we are of course not without allies but they have also made enemies who will now be after all of us. Please each of you study the PADD Lt Barclay has given you well and make plans accordingly for your ships. In case of any questions please speak to Commander Tuvok, the Chief of Security here on _Voyager. _Any questions so far?_" _

Captain Shirian of the _U.S.S. Melbourn _took the pause to ask the questions everyone wanted an answer to. "How is Captain Janeway? And is the Borg Queen really dead? Did she kill her? Everyone on each of our ships wants to know and so far there has been no more information apart from that the Captain has been rescued." Nods all around and a straightening of their backs as all of them turned as one back to Admiral Nechayev.

Alynna sighed before answering. "To each of your crews you can only say that the Queen is dead and that Captain Janeway is being treated for her injuries understood? What we say here goes no further then who is in this room and that is an order!" She had got louder with each word and was practically shouting at the end.

At once each of the officers stood to attention and answered her as one. "Aye Admiral."

Alynna looked each of the officers in the eye before letting them sit again and continuing more calmly. "When we first beamed the Captain to the sickbay here on _Voyager _she woke up for a short amount of time and I understand that she gave Commander Tuvok the Queens cortical node. To my understanding that node should have the full information on what the Captain has been through while in captivity and also a recording of the Queens last minutes. Have you looked through it yet and is this information correct Commander?"

Tuvok stood up to answer her. "Yes Admiral it is."

Alynna now looked at him sternly. "Make sure you keep it under lock and key. If I hear of any of what is on that node becoming public knowledge before Captain Janeway gives her direct permission it will be on your head, understood?"

Tuvok gave a short nod. "I had already planned on that Admiral."

"Good." Alynna waited a minute before telling him to sit down and once again addressing the entire group. "As you just heard the Queen is indeed dead and the Captain killed her. She was then found by species 8472 who brought her to us, unfortunately whatever the Queen did to her before that still seems to be doing a lot of damage though. Doctor Beverly Crusher from the _Enterprise, Voyagers _own Chief medical officer, in the form of their EMH, and their teams are currently still working on her but she is expected to make a full recovery. In time after she returns to her duties each of you will be reporting directly to her and that does include you Captain Picard. While you are the Senior officer to her that seniority is in the Alpha quadrant. Here her word is law for each and everyone of you!"

"Understood Admiral." Came from Jean-Luc while the others all nodded.

Alynna now turned towards Commander Chakotay. "Commander, please make quarters ready for myself and the other Admirals as we will be relocating here in the meantime. For now Command of this ship falls to Admiral Patterson though you will be running the day to day business."

"Aye Admiral." Chakotay had to admit to himself that he hadn't expected an Admiral to take over as commanding officer for _Voyager_. "_Though come to think of it these exact 3 Admirals watched me while I attacked her." _In that moment Chakotay knew that neither of the three Admirals trusted him and he also knew it would be a long journey till Kathryn took her command back.

"For now each of you Captains will report to Admiral Patterson. When Captain Janeway has recovered and takes her command back we Admirals will be helping her coordinate the Fleet. All of you report to her then she will report directly to us. Any questions?"

"No Admiral."

"Good, we will meet here again in 3 days at the same time to discuss the progress on the repairs. Dismissed." As the officers filed out of the mess hall to return to their duties Commander Tuvok alone stayed behind.

"Is there something else Commander?" Patterson now asked.

"I should inform you that I have found evidence on which we can convict a member of the Borg resistance for Captain Janeways kidnapping Admirals." Tuvok answered.

Alynnas eyes narrowed in thought. "Aren't that the drones you freed during that story with Unimatrix zero?" A nod answered her. "Who?"

"His name is Axum he is on board of the Borg tactical cube 29673 which we met shortly before the initial kidnapping. Unfortunately we have absolutely no idea where that ship now is as they have not contacted us again despite them taking a member of our crew – Seven of Nine who went willingly with them." He answered truthfully.

Owen was clearly angry. "Well if we ever find them again he is going to pay for this!"

Alynna now cut in before this could become out of hand. "Unfortunately for now there is nothing we can do. Lets concentrate on what is in front of us instead of wishes for justice we may never get."

Commander Tuvok nodded at them, then quickly left to return to his duties, while the three Admirals went straight to the Captains ready room to get ready for a meeting with their counterpart from the Klingon Fleet and the Captain of the lone remaining Romulan ship. They would not meet with the Borg leaders for another day as they would meet them on a planet in a nearby star system though they had given permission for the transfer of medical knowledge to them as there was no one more knowledgeable then _Voyagers _EMH for the removal of Borg implants.

* * *

Meanwhile in_ Voyagers _sickbay B'Elanna was quietly watching Captain Janeway from her biobed. She had given birth 2 hours ago with Tom as her midwife which she had to admit herself was the weirdest thing ever. She could understand though that both of the Doctors had been busy with her Captain and that they would have come to help if she had needed it. By now they had finished with her though and the two Doctors had disappeared into the office area. While she had been in a private room during the actual birth, where she had heard the tortured screams the Captain had given off earlier, she had been moved here after the birth to spend another day in observation. Now apart from the portable regeneration unit she could swear everything about Janeway looked exactly the same as it always did. She knew better though and quietly admitted to herself that her commanding officers tortured screams had scared her more then anything else had ever done before.

* * *

3 hours later Admiral Nechayev once again stepped into sickbay though this time together with the Janeways and Counsellor Troi. The Doctors had informed them that they had finished treating the Captain and so they had come for an update.

The EMH saw them before they could even step far into the room. "Ah there you are. Please come through to the other side. We don't want to disturb the patients after all as they are all sleeping."

After they went to the back rooms, where Doctor Crusher was also standing, Gretchen couldn't wait any more. "How is Kathryn?"

"She is stable and currently regenerating. We have healed most of the injuries which came about by her fight with the Queen. While the nanoprobes which were used to torture her are still in her system and did a lot more damage for the moment they are also helping her body heal, so we have left them till the morning at which point we will inject her with our own modified version. These modified nanoprobes will then get rid of the Queens probes and hopefully by tomorrow afternoon we can let the Captain return to her quarters." The EMH informed them.

"So she will be alright? No long term effects?" Gretchen asked.

"Physically she will be right as rain in about 4-5 days. Emotionally is another thing though, Deanna as this is your speciality could you spend some time with her? " Beverly now asked.

Alynna interjected here. "We will of course also need an evaluation as to when she is ready to take Command again."

"Of course." Deanna answered and then turned towards the Janeways. "As Counsellor I have to warn you that Kathryn will likely not be the same as before. It will take time, please be patient with her."

"Every experience we have shapes us into who we are today." Gretchen wisely answered her. "We know that it will take time but we will do everything in our power to help her."

* * *

It was 0600 hours the next morning when Kathryns circle finished and as she opened her eyes she could feel something heavy laying over her middle. Chakotay was deeply asleep with his head on her stomach and while she normally wouldn't have minded that she had to admit it was uncomfortable. While she felt much better now then in far too long it would take time before the soreness would go away. She shifted slightly to try and get comfortable without waking him but did not succeed as his eyes opened only seconds later.

"Hey." Chakotay said quietly and his eyes moved to check her over. "Feeling better?"

"Yes, but could you please get off?" As she saw a flash a pain in his eyes she hastened to add. "I'm still very sore you see?"

"Is okay." He assured her but she could see a guarded look settle on his face and knew that it was not okay.

Realising what the issue was she sighed. _"I don't think I can deal with his guilt right now." _She mustered him closely and realised that he lost quite a bit of weight due to the worry. _"Oh Chakotay... I'm so sorry." _She looked at him fondly before speaking up. "Have you been here all night?"

He blushed and looked away. "I came late as I was busy with a staff meeting and must have fallen asleep."

Kathryn now tried to loosen the tension with a bit of humour."You do know that I will soon drive our Doctor mad again?"

He smiled but it didn't reach his eyes. "With trying to escape yes, you never did like being in here but that will be harder this time as Dr Crusher from the _Enterprise _is still here too."

"What? I have 2 Doctors to drive mad? As Q would say 'Oh goody a challenge!', I wonder who is worse and which one will throw me out in the end when I get my way." She raised her eyebrows at him suggestively while saying that.

He couldn't help the low chuckle now. "Hard to say. While our Doctor is used to you, Dr Crusher has been on the _Enterprise _for a long time as well. Captain Picard is supposed to be a pain in the ass when in sickbay. But I have no idea which of you is worse."

"Hey!" She now protested and narrowed her eyes at him. "It's not like you are any better mister! Whom did I find creeping around in a cheffreys tube when he was supposed to be in sickbay 6 months ago?"

Both of them now broke into loud laughter. When he calmed down he tried to lay his hand on her shoulder but she flinched upon contact which unfortunately he took the wrong way. "_She is afraid of me." _ Quickly he removed his hand and Kathryn could see a flash of pain in his eyes, but before she could explain that she had flinched due to being reminded of her incarceration as she had not seen him move, Dr Crusher interrupted them.

"I see my patient is awake. Why didn't you inform me of that earlier Commander?" Beverly now asked not realising what she had interrupted and continued towards the Captain. "I have to examine you again before we inject you with the modified nanoprobes. Shall we do that now?"

Before Kathryn could say anything Chakotay already spoke up. "I have to get ready for my duty shift, it was nice to see you are feeling better Captain, I will see you soon." And before Kathryn could stop him he had already left sickbay.

Beverly looked at Kathryn, whom she could see staring at the door, and realised what she had done. "I'm sorry if I interrupted something important Captain."

Kathryn just sighed before looking at her. "I can speak to him later, lets just get this over with."

* * *

At the same time Borg tactical cube 29673 had found the Nebula which at one point had been an entrance to the Transwarp network. They could find no ships only debris though they did manage to detect several hundred warp trails of not only Borg signatures leading away, but also ships which should not be in the Delta Quadrant including 12 different Federation signatures.

"Axum we should follow those trails." Seven stated.

Axum just shock his head. "We need to find out more about what happened here first. We could be heading into a trap."

Several other Ex drones had watched their conversation and Lynne now spoke up to help Seven. "We owe Captain Janeway too much to leave her hanging like this. We have to go after them!" Sounds of agreement could now be heard all over.

Axum knew he couldn't take the risk of going back in case Janeway was still with her people and knew about what he had done. "Well you can go after them but my ship is staying here."

Lynne answered him in an incredulous tone. "Your ship? If I remember correctly we voted you in as our spokes person but this ship still doesn't belong to you. It belongs to all of us!" Then she turned towards the other ex drones. "You all heard that I believe what do you want to do? Stay here? Then step forward to show your support to Axum." No one moved. "Now step forward if you want to go after _Voyager!" _Every single one of the over 13 thousand ex drones could now be heard making a step forward.

Lynne threw a triumphant grin at Seven before turning back to Axum. "The majority has spoken we are going after them."

Seven gave her a mouthed thank you before returning to her station happy that she could at last return to her home.

* * *

Voyager, Orbit around an unnamed planet, Delta Quadrant

Later that afternoon the Captain was allowed to leave sickbay with her mother as an escort to her quarters. She had especially asked her mother to come alone as she didn't think she could stand Phoebes teasing at this time and there was the little fact of wanting her Mom to herself for a little while. As they walked through the halls several members of her crew stopped when they saw them but none of them said anything as they could see that the 2 of them wanted to be alone. As soon as the doors to her quarters closed behind them Gretchen turned and opened her arms which Kathryn gratefully fell into.

An hour later the two of them could be found sitting on the couch with Kathryns head lying on her mothers lap just enjoying the time they could spend together when the door chimed. Kathryn groaned and turned her head to bury it in Gretchens stomach. "Do we have to let her in?"

"Its only Phoebe, Kathryn."

"I know! But I am so comfortable here." Kathryn answered and Gretchen could swear there was a slight whine in her voice. She gave her daughter the 'look' as answer.

Kathryn saw it and promptly moved off her. "Fine!" Then she raised her voice towards the door. "Come in."

Phoebe stepped into the room and made a beeline for her sister. "I want a proper hug this time and not that thing you gave me this morning short stuff!" Then buried the shorter Kathryn in her arms.

A low groan could be heard. "Do you have to call me that?"

"Well it isn't my fault that you are so tiny. And anyway after having to listen to your crew and the reports they made on you for the last few weeks I think you need to be taken down a notch. As far as I got from that you must be living like a Queen here, they certainly think of you as one!" Phoebe answered and could feel a startled Kathryn moving away from her.

"What are you talking about?"

Now Phoebe was sheepish. "Sorry I thought you knew." Then she shot Gretchen a look asking for help.

"After your abduction the Federation at first gave up on you as a casualty of war. Your crew wasn't going to take that though. Its been all over the Federation everyone knows about it, they made an emotional appeal to get permission to try and fight for you – no matter the odds." Gretchen answered her question now.

Kathryn now took a deep breath and moved towards her console. "I have to see that give me a minute." After she activated the screen Gretchen and Phoebe could only watch as Kathryn started reading and tears slowly started gathering in her eyes.

Phoebe quietly told her. "Each and every member of your crew had a story to tell. They think the world of you Katie."

Abruptly Kathryn stood up and moved towards her door. Startled Gretchen asked just as the door opened to a surprised Deanna Troi. "Where are you going Kathryn?"

Kathryn was still moving out the door while giving them an answer. "Where do you think? I am going to hunt down my crew and hug the stuffing out of every single one of them!" Then she was gone.

Gretchen and Phoebe could only look at each other in surprise just as Deanna found her voice again. "What was that all about?"

* * *

Within the hour Kathryn had managed to hunt down all the members of her crew who she knew to be awake, as she slowly walked back to her quarters she could feel a presence 'knocking' on her mind.

"_Boothby is that you?" _She asked.

"_Yes Kathryn, do you have time to talk with me?"_

She knew her family would have left her quarters by now_. "Sure can we meet in my quarters?"_

"_Yes I will transport there as soon as you are there."_

Confused by that answer she asked. _"Transport? What do you mean?"_

"_You will see when you get there."_

That was when she walked through her door so she chuckled. _"Okay now then."_

The next moment she could already see him sort of fading into the room. Her eyebrows rose in surprise and she exclaimed. "How did you do that? That wasn't our transporter!"

"_It is just one of the powers of my race and also one of your own Kathryn." _He answered her and she could feel that he was amused.

"One of mine? I don't understand. I thought telepathy was it that is what the Queen told me anyway." She told him.

"_The Queen gave you much more then that, though she did not mean to, which is also why I stayed here for so long. Telepathy is only the beginning and you will have to learn to control it very quickly. Empathy similar to what that Counsellor from the Enterprise has is another, then there is telekinesis and also the ability to bend matter to your will. It is how I just came here, while it is a very convenient power in that point it is also very dangerous. With the power of your mind alone you can hurt and even kill someone or rip a whole planet apart if you so wish." _The amusement had now vanished.

All she could do was stare at him in disbelieve for a minute, now scared of her abilities she asked. "How do I control it?"

"_That is why I am here please sit down and we will begin." _


	7. Chapter 7

Again to some this will be familiar as they saw my draft. It has been edited with some things added and other parts changed.

**Chapter 7**

Two hours later Kathryn was alone when Tuvok asked to speak to her per comm system. "Sure Tuvok I am in my quarters. Just let me know when you can come over."

In that moment the door to her quarters opened. "Now would be a good time Captain."

"I see. What is this about Tuvok?"Kathryn asked.

"Captain," he now stood at attention in front of her, "per your orders I have completed my … evaluation of your incarceration." While it had taken every bit of his considerable strength and his command over his emotions to suppress his anger at what she had been through he also couldn't help but be in a bit of awe at her strength of character.

"I see." She leaned forward and placed her cup of coffee on the table in front of her. "What is your opinion? Am I a security risk?

"No Captain, it is my recommendation that you are to be reinstated as Captain of this vessel and crew. I have already informed Admiral Patterson and entered it into the logs.

"Thank you." She took a deep breath. "Did you view it all?"

Quietly he turned his head towards her. "Yes, Captain. If I may speak freely?

"Go ahead."

"In my professional opinion no one, not even myself, could have endured that with more dignity and integrity or a more courageous behaviour then you did under the most trying of circumstances." He told her.

"I suppose the Admirals at the very least will want to watch it to see whether you are being entirely truthful for themselves?" She sighed.

"Admiral Nechayev has ordered for no one to see the information till you give your permission. And later told me in private that my evaluation is good enough for her and the other Admirals. She ordered me to destroy the node if that is what you wish." He looked at her quietly now.

"From your face I can see that is not your recommendation." Vulcan or not sometimes she could read him like a book especially now that 'Boothby' had started to teach her how to read emotions. It was still very faint and with a Vulcan even more so but definitely there. "_Maybe I should ask Counsellor Troi for some pointers as well."_

He now clearly hesitated slightly before answering."I do not make faces but you are indeed correct. I would advise to let Counsellor Troi look through them first. I do not mean this as a slight but your emotional health as a human being may depend on it."

She now stepped towards her window to look at the stars while thinking about what he had said. After a minute she answered him. "Okay let her watch but... don't destroy it... not yet."

If Tuvok was surprised he didn't let it show. "Aye Captain."

* * *

Several hours later Admiral Patterson was sitting in the captains chair on the bridge quietly reading reports while the rest of the normal bridge crew didn't know how to react to an unknown Admiral sitting there and so where quietly doing their duties when Ensign Kim spoke up. "Sir we are being hailed. It is the ship Seven of Nine left with."

Matts eyes narrowed. "On screen."

The next moment Seven showed up for everyone to see on the view screen. She startled at seeing the unknown man sitting in the Captains chair and looked at the others in confusion. "What is going on? And where is Captain Janeway?"

Matt spoke up before the others could. "I believe you are Seven of Nine?"

"That is correct." She answered.

"I am Admiral Patterson from Starfleet Command. Would you and your group please beam over so we can talk in private?" Matt spoke now.

Sevens eyes narrowed in suspicion and she threw a look at someone they couldn't see. "Of course."

An hour later a security beamed over to the cube who explained the situation regarding Janeways abduction and what the Queen had said about Axums betrayal... It took very little convincing to get the other Ex drones to hand him over.

* * *

2 hours later Captain Janeway was again in sickbay staring in anger and disgust down at Axum who was behind a forcefield after having been treated for the wounds the Ex drones had inflicted on him after finding out the truth. "Why?"

"The Queen... she threatened to... she threatened to assimilate everyone again." Axum answered slowly at first then his voice grew stronger. "I had to protect my people! Would you not have done the same if put into the position?"

Shouts of protest could now be heard by Janeway who held up her hand to keep her family, senior staff, Admirals and the Ex drones at bay. She looked him in the eyes and bluntly told him. "Liar! She only threatened you."

'Boothby' now stepped towards him and they could all hear in their heads. _"Tell them the truth or I will make you. Don't you think she deserves that much? Do it or I kill you myself right here right now!" _When there was still no answer he took another step forward to a nervous Axum who then cracked.

"She said... she said she wouldn't turn you into a drone. But I would have been! Please understand! I couldn't go back to that!"

She quietly looked at him. "Is that supposed to make it okay? I firmly believe that it would have been easier to be a drone as I wouldn't have had my emotions or cared for anything else. Did you know what her plan for me was?" Axum now shook his head and swallowed nervously. "No? Was easier wasn't it? On your coincidence anyway or do you just not have one?

"What are you going to do to me?"

She didn't answer but instead just looked at him showing him all the hate, disgust and anger she felt. Suddenly Axum fell to the floor twisting in agony as Janeway continued to stare at the man, her eyes in fact never leaving the man. Everyone else was stunned even those who knew that she had shown the same reaction after being injected with the hypospray barely 2 days ago.

Only a few seconds later she stopped looked at him, stumbled and leaned against a biobed. "_What the hell am I doing?" _Without looking at him or anyone else again she left sickbay as quickly as she could.

As soon as she was gone several people including 2 of the 3 Admirals and B'Elanna Torres had to be held back from going after Axum themselves. It took a while for them to calm down but they all did once Alynna Nechayev used her command voice.

Alynna waited a couple minutes to make sure they were all calm before speaking again."What the hell happened here anyway? Did she do that?"

"_Yes she did Admiral." _Boothby now answered her.

"How did she manage not to kill him?" Admiral Paris now asked while half the group had to nod in agreement.

"_If she had done it I believe it would have destroyed her. Instead it did the opposite – she saved him and with that herself."_

"What do you mean?" Came now from the people who had tried to attack Axum while the other half already nodded in agreement.

"_I met her a couple years ago before all this happened and she was a completely different person from what I saw since she managed to contact my species. While she was incarcerated she had no choice but to let go of herself. To bury her emotions and her true self so deep that no one could reach it not even herself. All that was left behind was the Captain but not Kathryn. This was her first true bit of emotion I have seen since. Yes she hurt him in anger but she realised what she was doing and stopped herself before any of you could even react. No one else but her stopped it and that with a power she had never used like that before. She could very easily have killed him but she did not even permanently damage him. If she had done so the Kathryn in her would have forever been lost."_

Counsellor Troi now spoke up. "I also believe he is correct Admiral. And in fact after seeing this I can only give my recommendation for her to retake her command. It is clear to me that she is in full command of herself – physically and mentally."

Everyone else could only nod in agreement.

* * *

Half an hour later Deanna found herself on deck 15 where according to 'Boothby' Janeway had gone. When she found the alcove the Captain had sequestered herself in she spoke quietly. "I have given my recommendation for you to retake command."

Startled Janeway looked up at her in disbelieve. "How can you do that? I nearly killed him."

"Why didn't you? Who stopped you?"

"..."

"You did Kathryn. Did you realise that over half the people in that room went after him as soon as you left to kill him themselves? While the other half were concerned for you and what it would have done to you if you had killed him?" Deanna watched Kathryn closely knowing that this was a major stumbling block for her.

"What if I hurt someone else?" Kathryn now whispered.

"Who is there? You went through a living hell for 2 months and still couldn't kill the man responsible for it."

The Captain closed her eyes and leaned back against the bulkhead. A couple minutes passed before she spoke again."Has Seven seen her father yet?"

"Her father?"

"The drone who was with me when I was originally brought to the _Enterprise. _That was Magnus Hansen her father." She explained.

"You remember that?" Deanna now asked surprised. "We thought you were unconscious at the time."

Janeway opened her eyes and looked at her. "Yes I do, so did she?"

"I don't think anyone even realised who he is yet. As far as I know he is currently on the _Moscow, _nobody wanted someone who still looked like a drone near you immediately after you woke up. Though by now I suppose they should have started getting rid of his implants to save his life if nothing else. Last I saw him he was still in shock after seeing you kill the Queen and destroying the hive mind. Very happy yes but still in shock." Deanna answered.

"Want to come with me to find her and let her know?"

Deanna grinned. "You bet I will."

"And Counsellor?" Deanna just nodded for her to go on so she did. "Can we talk like this on a regular basis? Like once or twice a week?"

Now Deanna was surprised normally Captains hated anyone trying to counsel them. Having the reviews after a mission by the Admirals was bad enough but having someone look into their actions on a regular basis whodoes not know for themselves how it is to command a starship? She felt honoured by the trust Janeway was now showing and instinctively knew while it would be a hard road Kathryn would recover – in time. She smiled. "Yes we can."

* * *

The next morning at 0640 hours Kathryn was just getting ready for her first duty shift since her return. _"Katie old girl why are you feeling nervous? You have done this thousands of times." _She thought and then determinedly threw on her uniform jacket before marching out of her quarters were she stopped short, Neelix was already waiting for her. "Neelix what can I do for you?"

The little Talaxian smiled at her. "I have an appointment with Commander Chakotay at 0700 hours so thought I could go with you."

She raised her eyebrows at him but shrugged her shoulders in the end. "Follow me." Then set off again just to freeze at his reply.

"To the end of the universe Ma'am!"

She looked at him for a second suspiciously then shrugged again and turned the corner. When she saw what was round it she could only think_"I never get on the bridge at this rate!" _because yes she had stopped again. Over half her crew was standing at attention on either site of the corridors. Her eyes narrowed and she looked suspiciously at Neelix who just grinned back at her. Slowly she set off again just to speed up till she strode determinately into the turbolift with him directly behind her. "Bridge!" She ordered. As the turbolift started moving she murmured to him. "I suppose I find the rest of the crew on the bridge? I mean all those who weren't in that corridor. Has anyone even been running this ship while I was gone?"

"Captain the repairs on _Voyager_ are finished. Everything is back in order at least here, we are just helping the other ships now. The crew worked very hard to give you a proper welcome." He now told her quietly.

She narrowed her eyes at him. "1900 hours again?"

Neelix was now confused. "What?"

Now she had to hide her grin and instead gave her best glare, or at least tried to. "For the party of course. It seems tradition by now so why break it?" Then she left a dumbfounded but clearly delighted Neelix standing in the turbolift to step onto the bridge. And indeed she had been right, all 3 bridge duty crews were standing there at their stations.

Tuvok was the first to notice her. "Captain on the bridge." He announced and everyone snapped to attention. Even Admirals Nechayev and Paris were standing near her ready room doors, while she could see the view screen had split into 11 smaller pictures to show the other 11 Fleet ships bridges.

Down in her seat she could see Admiral Patterson who now also stood and then spoke. "Computer, log that at this Star date at 0700 hours command of this ship has been cheerfully transferred back to Captain Kathryn Janeway. Authorisation Patterson Alpha – 9165."

"Acknowledged." The computer voice answered.

She nodded at him and then addressed her crew. "Thank you everyone for the welcome and of course my rescue. You all went above and beyond the call of duty." Then she started walking around to have a quiet word with each member of her crew.

Though she could hear Tom shout from the con "Didn't look much like you needed rescue Captain."

After which she could immediately hear Harry Kim speak loudly. "You kicked ass Captain!"

Now that she couldn't ignore, she turned and glared at Lt Paris. "Tom a week of graveyard shift duty for you!" At his wounded "Why only me?" she started grinning again. "Because I remember how Harry was before he spend so much time with you. He has become like this because of you!"

"Too right." Owen Paris now spoke up and everyone started chuckling which turned to outright laughter at Toms reply of "Well whom do you think I got it from?" while looking pointedly at his father which promptly had the Admiral give his son a glare.

Nechayev now interrupted them all. "Alright everyone that is enough. Get back to work or off this bridge if not on duty."

In that moment Janeway stumbled as she could feel someone run into her from behind. Naomi Wildmann had escaped her mothers clutches and now wouldn't let go of her. With Samanthas help she freed herself enough to at least turn around and look the little girl in the face. "Naomi what's wrong?

"You never did tell me what would happen if the Captain got in trouble." She sniffed and buried her head in Janeways waist. "God I was so scared."

It took her a minute to remember what Naomi was talking about now but luckily thanks to the PADD from the day before she did. She would have knelt down to her level but knew if she attempted that she wouldn't get back up. "_And wouldn't that ruin the image?" _She thought wryly to herself before answering out loud. "Did you really think this crew would have allowed that dumb Queen to get away with it? I think not."

Naomi now had to smile. "I should have known from the start that you'd kick her ass after all you always do!" Then she ran off the bridge before her mother could catch her as her crew broke once again into laughter amidst a loud shout of "Naomi Wildmann!"

Janeway mean while stared after her and asked with a large dose of sarcasm. "Well isn't that image just lovely to live up to?" At which point even Alynna couldn't help herself any more and she laughed out loud with everyone else.

B'Elanna waited till everyone calmed down and then stepped up to the Janeway next and promptly handed her her baby daughter. "This is our newest passenger Captain, Toms and my daughter Miral Kathryn Paris. Would you please consent to becoming her godmother?"

Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the lost Star ship _Voyager_ for over 7 years, suddenly found herself to be mute and for the first time ever her command mask completely failed her as she stared in shock at her Chief of Engineering before slowly nodding.

* * *

After her duty shift ended Kathryn went looking for Chakotay but he had left his comm badge in his quarters and had masked his biosigns so the computer gave an error when asked to scan for that. So she started wandering the ship aimlessly in the hope of finding him but after 2 hours of that she had to admit defeat and headed towards sickbay to get her check up over and done with for the day. She was also very sore especially in her right hip and leg by now and wanted a hypospray against the pain before heading to bed. As she stepped into sickbay she could also see Lt Torres who it seemed was just about to leave. She looked around for her godchild but couldn't see her anywhere.

"Hello B'Elanna, where is Miral?" She now asked curiously.

Turning to her but refusing to meet her eyes the Lt answered. "Admiral Paris wanted to spend some time with her so I left her with him for the night Ma'am."

"Admiral? Ma'am?" Kathryn now asked confused. "Why are you being so formal with me B'Elanna? And please look me in the eyes when talking to me."

B'Elanna now had the strong urge to flee. "I'm sorry Ma'am but I have to go." She spoke and then attempted to leave sickbay.

Now Kathryn had enough and she thundered back. "Lieutenant! Don't you dare walk away from me!"

B'Elanna froze but did not turn around to her so Kathryn quickly walked over to her and turned her around just to be startled at the sign of tears in her eyes. Calmer she whispered. "B'Elanna what is wrong?"

Now panicking B'Elannas eyes started darting around sickbay and she begged. "Please Captain, let me go."

Kathryn wasn't ready to give up yet. "Not until you tell me what is wrong." Then she stuck her hand under B'Elannas jaw to lift her face as her hair was by now hiding her eyes. "Why can't you even look at me?" She could now feel B'Elanna trembling and made a snap decision. "Would it be okay for me to get my check up done and then for us to go to my quarters? I promise I won't ask anything else for now."

B'Elanna now sighed in relief and gave her a weak smile. "Yes Captain. May I wait outside?"

Now suspicious Kathryn looked at her. "Promise me that you won't try to run again?"

"Yes Captain." And for the first time since Kathryn had stepped into sickbay B'Elanna looked her into the eyes.

* * *

45 minutes later and with a shouted "Come back in the morning for physio for your leg Captain!" from the doctor she left sickbay and found B'Elanna leaning against the bulkhead. Holding out her arm to prod the Lieutenant into walking she asked. "Shall we?"

B'Elanna came up to her and grabbed her hand. "Yes please."

Now really concerned Kathryn could only walk beside her in silence as she instinctively knew that this had to be dealt with in private – whatever it was. When they got to her quarters she turned to B'Elanna and asked. "Something to drink or eat for you?"

"Just some water please." Came the short answer so she walked to the replicator and ordered that as well as her customary coffee.

Handing it to B'Elanna she sat beside her on the couch groaning a bit as her leg protested the weight on it. "Now will you tell me what is wrong?"

"Did you know that I was in labour and in another part of sickbay when you were brought you in Captain?" B'Elanna started.

"Not at the time but I was told about it later why?" Kathryn had to admit she didn't expect that question.

"I heard..." B'Elanna stopped now and took a deep breath before continuing. "I heard you when those nanoprobes activated. It was a taste of what you had been through for the time you were away wasn't it?"

"Yes it was." Kathryn admitted quietly and closed her eyes.

"How did you survive that for so long? And how can you go on as normal? If it had been me..." B'Elanna trailed off when she saw the tears which were falling down Kathryns face. "Captain, I'm sorry I shouldn't have asked."

"Does this have to do with your reaction to me in sickbay?" B'Elanna didn't answer but for Kathryn the look in her eyes was enough of one so she wiped away her tears and at least tried to answer. "Honestly at times I am not sure I did." At B'Elannas confused look she elaborated. "Survive I mean. It feels at times like there is nothing of myself left. The Captain yes but not anything of me as a person. I feel kind of numb and don't really know how to feel again. The reaction is there in my body but the feelings themselves are not if that makes sense. And when I look at you and everyone else I can't help but think 'I'm here I survived why am I not happy?', as I can see in all of you how happy you are. And then there are my new powers to factor in as well."

"Your powers? What have they got to do with anything?"

"I'm scared of them." Kathryn admitted quietly. "Boothby is teaching me how to control them but it feels like for every step I take forward I take 2 back. With just a thought I could kill us all or destroy a planet. Just a thought! Just one wrong emotion of mine and all of you could be dead. I am not sure I want my emotions back and maybe I am suppressing them unconsciously. If I lose control... " She trailed off and looked out the window.

"You won't." B'Elanna now said with conviction.

"Deanna Troi said the same but how do you know that I won't lose it?"

"You won't because deep down you are still the same Captain I have known for the last 7 years. And the Kathryn Janeway I know wouldn't do that, she would never hurt an innocent."

"I have killed before B'Elanna. Every day as a Star ship Captain means making decisions which affect others. If we are attacked it is me who gives the orders to shoot back fully knowing that my actions can and most likely will kill... What makes you think I won't one day do that without cause?"

"How many crew members died on our journey so far? And what were their names?" B'Elanna shot back and when Kathryn obediently started telling her the names of them all she interrupted by the second name. "And that is why you won't lose control. Each of those names is still etched into your memory. Yes you make decisions which affect the lives of others on a daily basis, but you do them for the good of everyone on this ship and many others. Your actions even before you were kidnapped alone saved millions of lives! From the Ocampans all the way to the people of that planet where we found Friendship One. And despite the suffering you had to endure with the Queen you still fought her with everything you had. You could have given in easily but you stayed strong to your beliefs till the very end. Which is also what I meant earlier...how could you stay so strong? Every time I even step into sickbay I am back at the moment where Axum confessed why he had done it. That he let you go through that because he was a coward and I want to kill him all over again. How did you manage to stay true to your beliefs in that moment? I only know a bit of what happened and I can't hold onto them. Which is also why I couldn't look you in the eyes earlier. You have been so unbelievable strong and here I am, someone you say is your friend but I can't control myself enough and I'm so ashamed of that. How can I still be your friend after that? I don't deserve to be." B'Elanna now finished with tears rolling down her face and when Kathryn opened her arms she collapsed into them.

"You are my friend because you care. All you are feeling just shows me how much you do and I couldn't be prouder of being your friend." Kathryn whispered back while feeling warm inside. While B'Elanna took comfort in her words and arms, she would never know just how much she helped Kathryn with just that one conversation and the bodily contact afterwards.

* * *

Late the next morning Kathryn, Alynna and Deanna had beamed down to the planet, together with a security detail, to check on the progress of the Ex Borg drones. Captain Picard, Commander Riker and Seven of Nine were already there and together the group was now walking around offering help where they could. Kathryn had taken the first chance she could to approach Seven and to separate her from the group a bit to talk to her privately.

Now Kathryn looked in concern at her as Seven looked a bit pale. "Did you speak to your father Seven?"

"Yes Captain." Came the answer.

"_Short and to the point – typical Seven." _Kathryn thought and threw her a look.

"It was... acceptable. He wishes to go with the other Ex drones to find my mother and then to return to Federation space. He also asked me to go with him." Seven elaborated.

"And what do you want to do?"

"I do not wish to go Captain. I would like to return to Earth with you on board _Voyager _and_..." _Now Seven clearly trailed offand looked at Janeway hesitantly.

"Go on."

Seven was quiet for a couple minutes just looking at her Captains face before elaborating further. "Since I was liberated from the collective..." She stopped and started again. "I was only 6 years old when I was assimilated and to this day I do not remember much about my childhood before that. I did not have a childhood as such you could say and I have barely any emotional tie to bind me to them. _Voyager _and its crew have become my family... not them. I would like... I would like to make that bond official and become a Janeway. Would you please adopt me as your daughter by law?"

"_Well this day is full of surprises." _Was the only thought shooting through Janeways head as she stared at Seven in surprise.

Seven took her silence not as the surprise it was but as refusal. "Please Captain, forget I said anything." Then turned to walk away.

Before she could make 3 steps though Kathryn stopped her by laying her hand on Sevens shoulder. "I would like that." Kathryn gave her verbal answer quietly before asking. "Does your father know about this?"

A beautiful smile now lay on Sevens face. "Yes he does Captain and he understands. He has even given his permission though I did not need it as I am an adult by law."

"And Seven, please stop calling me by my rank at least off duty. If you are going to be my daughter such formality is really over the top. How about you call me Kathryn for now? If there is something else you are more comfortable with tell me but please do not call me 'short stuff' like my sister does." Kathryn now smiled impishly at Seven.

"I would like that... Mom."

"_Damn my emotions are all over the place today." _Kathryn thought as she started tearing up and gave Seven a hug.

* * *

"I wonder what they are talking about." Alynna commented as she and the group with her watched Kathryn and Seven from 50 meters away.

"I don't know. Do you think we should step in? It looks like Captain Janeway is crying." Jean-Luc now threw in and took a step towards her.

"No Captain that won't be necessary." Deanna now answered him and when the Captain turned to look at her, she smiled. "Leave them alone for now they are both very happy about something."

Just as they were about to leave they heard a new voice from the background. "Well isn't this a party! Mind if I join?"

At once everyone turned and Alynna as well as the _Enterprise _group all froze. In front of them they now saw a face they never thought to see again.

Tentatively Alynna asked. "Admiral Hanson?"

Jean-Luc also couldn't help but add his own question. "J.P.? Is that you?"

Out of the shadows they could now see an elderly man come up to them they all had believed to be dead. He looked pale and his face still had some Borg implants but there could be no doubts about it, he was Admiral J.P. Hanson.

He grinned at them. "Don't all look so shocked please. There are a lot more people around here who were originally from the Alpha quadrant. I will of course tell you everything but for now don't you think it is about time we go home?"

Alynna was the first to come out of her shock and speak. "That isn't as easy as you think. Our ships still have a lot of damage and our repairs will take a while. We also have a minimum journey of 3 years before we can go home. And I know for a fact that the Borg cubes you have access to all lost their ability to travel with their slip stream technology so we can't use that either and no normal drone ever had the knowledge on how to build them either – only the Queen."

"Now what makes you think that no one knows how to build them any more?" Came the voice of Captain Janeway who had approached together with Seven and who was grinning at them in a wicked way. "As soon as our repairs are finished we will go home – together. And I promise you next week at this time we will all be at headquarters enjoying some freshly brewed coffee together instead of the replicated stuff."

Alynnas eyes narrowed in suspicion. "How can you say that Captain?"

Kathryn had a glint in her eyes and was playing with her comm badge which Seven saw and promptly made her step back in fear. "Someone contact _Voyager _and tell them to go to Red alert! Lets just get this over with." She groaned.

That now startled all but Kathryn who looked down at her comm badge, took her hand away from it and glared at Seven. "You got that from Chakotay!"

"He was just the first to point it out but we all knew about it before that!" Seven snapped back. In confusion everyone else looked between the two of them when Seven took pity on them and explained what she meant. "One of the times she played with her comm badge like that we ended up stealing from a Borg cube and I was taken by the Borg Queen which then prompted the Captain to go up against her and bring me back. There are a couple similar stories I could tell you but that one seemed the most obvious in showing the bombshells she dropped on us over the years."

Everyone else was now staring at Janeway in shock who protested. "I promise what I am thinking of won't put anyone here in danger!"

Seven was still suspicious. "Elaborate." She demanded.

"You already know that only the Queen had the knowledge on how to build a slipstream drive from scratch right? And that she gave the knowledge on what to do to build them to certain drones at times but then somehow deleted their knowledge on how they did what they had done?" Kathryn started.

Everyone nodded in agreement so she continued. "Now remember that she inadvertently gave me more powers then she meant to with direct access to her brain. I wasn't just being tortured for the last two months. I also picked her brain and I know how to build and maintain them now!"

* * *

Did you really think I wouldn't let them go home? =P


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

Just outside the Mess hall, _U.S.S. Voyager, _Delta Quadrant

3 days later Crewmen Tal Celes and Billy Telfer were slowly making their way towards the mess hall when Mortimer Harron came upon them, saw where they were going and stopped them. "Better not go in their, there is supposed to be a meeting in an hour and a lot of people from the other ships are already around. I must have seen at least 5 Captains in there not to mention their senior staffs and the admirals who are on board anyway."

"And what are we supposed to do? Billy and I have been busy all day and haven't eaten anything yet, we also haven't got any replicator rations left." Tal Celes spoke up.

In that moment another voice spoke up from behind. "You will come and eat with us, of course."

All 3 spun around to see Captain Janeway as well as her mother and sister walking towards them. "Captain?" Tal inquired softly.

Kathryn was smirking at them when she answered."You heard me Crewman. The other ships are all back in shape by now, so the senior members of all ships could have easily met on board of the _Enterprise_ or any other bigger ship. But no they all had to come here and early to boot and I refuse to let my crew go without food. I hope you aren't as uncomfortable eating with me and my family as with those crews you don't know well?" All 3 now only shook their heads so she continued. "Come on then lets see what Neelix left for us."

With that she strode into the Mess hall with her family and the 3 crew members behind her. The 60 or so people already in the room went quiet when they realised who had come in but Janeway just gave them a "As you were!" then proceeded to ignore them while walking straight into the kitchen. "Any special wishes? Neelix has left some Leola root stew, some leftovers from lunch which I don't know the name of and some of his Talaxia special which we can easily warm up." They could all hear her asking a minute later.

"The special for us please, Captain." Billy answered her.

Gretchen and Phoebe looked at each other before also answering. "We will try the stew."

Billy, Tal and Mortimer now stared at them in horror and even Kathryns head popped up again. "Mom, Phoebs... you will also try the special and no arguments please." Came from the Captain before she turned to Tal Cales. "Mind getting everyone drinks from the replicator? It would take too long to make fresh as there doesn't seem to be anything here... Oh and use my rations."

With a nod Tal turned to the 2 Janeways. "What would you like? Or are you coffee drinkers as well?"

Two chuckles answered her. "Its obvious you know Kathryns vice. But we would like earl grey tea please." Gretchen answered.

"The entire crew knows about it." Billy now quipped. "I believe there was something like 'There is coffee in that nebula!' at the beginning of our journey." To the amusement of all who heard which was everyone in the room.

"I heard that!" Came now from the kitchen, to the continued amusement of all, before Kathryn showed herself again. "There is a table for 6 in the back, go sit down dinner will be ready in a couple minutes if Crewman Telfer helps which he will considering he just volunteered." With that she pulled Billy with her while her family together with Mortimer went to sit down with Tal joining them.

After they had sat down and while waiting for Kathryn and Billy to bring their food a science officer from the _U.S.S Kalypso _spoke up while making sure that Captain Janeway couldn't hear. "I'm Lieutenant Salept and I'm sorry if I am bothering you Crewmen but isn't it a bit presumptuous of you to just sit with Captain Janeway and her family? It is certainly not normal for Crewmen to sit with the Captain of a vessel never mind the fact that she seems to be about to make you your dinner."

Tal and Mortimer now looked up and both of them could see that a lot of people were quietly watching and seemed to be wondering the same thing. Only the three Admirals, who were sitting in a corner, seemed to be hiding their amusement at what they were watching.

Mortimer Harron found his voice first. "That maybe but this isn't exactly a normal ship. We have been out here for over 7 years now after all and while we certainly do follow the normal command structure Captain Janeway has made it clear long ago that there are situations where she expects us to treat her as if she was a normal member of the crew and not the Captain. She won't stand for insubordination of course but so long as we treat her with respect there isn't a problem from her site. In fact when she comes to the mess hall, which admittedly doesn't happen every day, she usually circles the room and tries to talk to members of the crew who are there – no matter the rank. We are also allowed to contact her at any time if there is a problem whether professionally or for private matters though if a private matter she does prefer that we contact her outside her duty shifts."

Tal piped up here. "Just don't contact her first thing in the morning before she had her coffee as she is a right bear then!"

"Too true." Came now from Mortimer, Phoebe and Gretchen who looked at each other surprised and started grinning when they realised that they had all spoken at the same time.

"Also don't come near me when Q is around, he regularly drives me up the wall." Came now the husky voice of their Captain who was bringing trays with food over.

Everyone, but the members of her crew and family, now stared at her in surprise wondering why she didn't explode at her crew members which had her grinning. "What? It is the truth you know? But anyway be right back there are some more trays in the kitchen."

"Don't worry Captain I've got it." Billy Telfer spoke up from behind her before she could walk away again. Shrugging and with a smile she made sure that everyone had their food after which Billy and her sat down as well.

A loud cough could be heard and everyone turned towards Captain Picard and his staff who had come in without anyone realising. "Did I hear the word 'Q' just now?"

"Yes you did. He is a rude, interfering, inconsiderate, sadistic pest isn't he?" Kathryn answered him which was answered by nodding from the _Enterprise _group so she continued with a grimace. "Unfortunately we seem to have the dubious honour of getting at least 2 Q's per visit."

"2 at once?" Jean – Luc groaned at the thought alone.

Will Riker spoke up next. "Ever been in the continuum Captain?"

"Been there, done that, got the T-shirt!" Kathryn answered him. "But if you want to compare I do know one thing which I bet he never wanted from any of you!"

Alynna couldn't help herself now. "What's that Captain?"

"Easy! I bet he never wanted to mate with any of you!" Came the answer which promptly shut everyone up. "Now let us eat please. I just spend the last 12 hours in main engineering and I am starving!" After she said that she turned to her food and began eating.

Only seconds after coughing and spluttering could be heard coming from Gretchen and Phoebe the latter of which spoke up first. "Ewww... what the hell is this?"

"This is absolutely disgusting!" Gretchen added and quickly grabbed her drink to get rid of the taste.

The heads of all 4 _Voyagers _now turned towards them while everyone else once again looked on.

"Actually... this is quite... good." Billy Telfer spoke up hesitantly.

Tal came next. "For Neelix anyway..."

Then came Mortimer with a quietly voiced. "You should try some of his other dishes."

Gretchen stared at them in horror before turning to her oldest daughter. "No wonder you wanted to come home so much! You wanted to get away from this... this... I can not call it cooking..."

Kathryn looked at her family and then to her crew members at which point all four of them started laughing at Gretchen and Phoebe. Through her laughter Kathryn tried to explain. "It's really not that bad Mom... Neelix did have over 7 years to learn. That stew I told you not to take earlier? Now that is bad! Only Bolians will eat it but this... we are all enjoying it. This is the Delta quadrant after all we didn't have access to a Federation space port so we had to make do with what we had. When ever we got the chance we stocked up on dilithium and all that as well as food which can be eaten by us. We had replicator rations to top it off as well but sometimes we had to go without." She looked at them for a couple seconds before shrugging. "We got used to it."

"Why didn't you get someone else to cook?" Phoebe now asked and all 4 of them stopped laughing.

"Who?" Came the answer from them all before Kathryn quietly elaborated. "We lost nearly a quarter of the crew when we were first pulled here and while admittedly since then we had less losses then other Federation ships as well as the help of the surviving members of the Maquis crew... we have not been at full strength since we were pulled from the Alpha quadrant over 7 years ago. Every member of this crew has been pulling at minimum 2 double shifts a week ever since, which also depended on the situation we were in at any given time. Some weeks we barely managed to get to sleep before something else went wrong." She now turned towards the 3 Admirals, who like everyone else in the room had listened in shocked silence. "And I do mean every member of the crew. Whether Maquis , Starfleet, Ex-Borg, native Delta quadrant species or even the Equinox five we are one crew. Yes all of you have been in a war which went on for several years and we all know that can't have been easy but... it hasn't been easy for us either. We have been in a running battle ever since we were pulled here and up till just a week ago we never even had the possibility of asking for backup from Starfleet – whether in the form of ships, back up personnel or just simple things like food."

"Take the _Equinox_ for example." Came now from Lieutenant Torres who had together with the rest of the _Voyager _senior staff stepped into the room while everyone had been listening to their Captain. When she saw that she had the attention of everyone she continued. "While we all admit that what they did was wrong we know how slippery a rope it is better then you can even imagine. More then once there were people in this crew who wanted to go another way – away from the Starfleet principles. Myself and many others included."

Commander Tuvok was the next to speak up. "Indeed. This last year alone we became trapped in an empty region of space. There was nothing there which we needed to run this ship, no dilithium, no food, no nothing and we were already low on reserves before getting trapped there. It was empty apart from other ships which like us had fallen into its trap, some of them had been there for years. We were attacked within minutes and part of our reserves were stolen so that we only had enough for 1 week left. We tried to escape through one of the anomalies which had pulled us in but couldn't manage. I freely admit that I together with some others went to the Captain and asked her to throw the Starfleet way out the window and to attack other ships ourselves to get what we needed. She refused which horrified everyone on board. Then she did something which for everyone else would have likely been impossible. She used the Starfleet way to build a mini Federation. Every ship within that alliance had to follow the Starfleet rules and in turn we shared what we could with the goal of getting out and protecting each other from attacks. One of the ships broke the rules and attacked another ship to get what we needed, it was the last component we needed to escape... she still threw them off this ship and out of the alliance. In the end we got out with the help of the native species to that part of space which would not have happened if we had thrown our ideals overboard. It is likely that we wouldn't have managed to get out at all if we had kept the ships who had broken the rules with us as they were cruel to the natives."

"There are many other similar stories which we could tell you all. All the way back from when we first got here up till just before we met you inside that nebula." Kathryn spoke up again. "To be honest there was more then once when we thought our last hour had come. But every member of this crew came together at just the right moment whether it was with an idea which could help us or just a friendly word to someone who was down because of our situation. Don't get me wrong we all made mistakes and have moments we aren't proud of but when it counted we came together as one crew and pulled each other through."

"Which does remind me Captain." B'Elanna now spoke up and handed Kathryn a PADD who started reading it straight away. "As we aren't going to share the slipstream drive technology with the Klingon and Romulan ships Seven and I have been working on something which is similar to the technology we used to get out of that anomaly so that we are able to pull them through with us. But we are stuck could you maybe have a look? We have 12 ships with the new technology and 6 to pull with us which is not bad but the stress on the drives and also the ships themselves..."

As soon as she finished reading the Captain tabbed her comm badge. "Janeway to Ensign Wildman."

"_Yes Captain?"_

"Sam, could you please come to the mess hall as soon as possible?" She asked.

"_Of course Captain. Neelix is here and can keep an eye on Naomi I will be there in 10 minutes."_

"Thank you, Janeway out."

Seven knew that look in her eyes. "You have an idea Mom... erm Captain?"

Shocked silence descended on everyone but Janeway and Seven who grinned at each other. "Seven please do try to stick to the Captain part at least while on duty. I adopted you not even this morning and you are already slipping!" Kathryn told her with a smirk.

Quiet laughter could be heard from the corner of the Admirals and a grinning Owen Paris commented. "Honestly, you two just had to announce that here didn't you?"

"Of course they did! They used the moment to see every ones face!" Matt commented.

"You knew?" Came from Tom Paris who had gone white in shock.

At that point Matt and Owen dissolved into hysterical laughter so a chuckling Alynna answered instead. "Of course we knew. The paperwork went through me after all and these two old Admirals as well as Lt Reginald Barclay were the witnesses which were required to get it all through. It's all legal already. Annika Hansen , formerly known as Seven of Nine, is now officially known as Seven Annika Gretchen Janeway."

"A niece?" Came the shocked question from Phoebe.

"I have... another granddaughter?" Gretchen asked quietly while looking between the faces of her oldest daughter and the 'supposed' granddaughter. Then she realised what exactly Alynna had said and tears came into her eyes. "You used my name?"

"Of course we did Mom. Seven wanted a name which showed her connection to the past as well as the present and future. Seven is obvious as that is the name she is used to now, Annika was her name at birth and to show the connection to our family she wanted to use your name." A smiling Kathryn answered her.

A hesitant Seven spoke up next. "I... hope that is alright with you Gretchen?"

"Of course it is! And call me grandma no more Gretchen for you." Gretchen answered and then proceeded to give Seven her own surprise by giving her a hug and quietly telling her. "Welcome to the family." Not quite a second later Phoebe had also pulled the unresisting Kathryn from her seat and pulled both of them into a family hug.

"Congratulations Captain." Came now from all the different senior staffs while Commander Chakotay watched sadly from inside the kitchen. He had been there since shortly after Kathryn and Billy had left but just didn't know how to approach Kathryn, who never even realised he was there, so had only quietly watched from the dark.

"_I'm sorry Kathryn. Twice I very nearly killed you and while I by now have accepted that the one during the mutiny wasn't my fault I can't forgive myself for doing it a second time. The first time Mike Ayala saved you, the weapon I had ordered him to give Tuvok wasn't supposed to be defective... he did that against my orders as he didn't trust Tuvok. And the second time only the accidental arrival of Tom, Mike and B'Elanna saved your life. I was drunk yes but I should never have had that much. I have to stay away for your own safety." _With those morbid thoughts he turned around and left to return to the bridge but not without throwing over a pot which was in his way. The loud sound got the attention of everyone in the mess hall but unfortunately not before the door closed behind him.

Billy Telfer went to investigate but only found the pot on the floor though he could have sworn that Commander Chakotay had been here earlier. "How did that fall?"

Kathryn who had come in behind him commented. "Must have been from earlier, I remember putting that pot on the sideboard."

Billy doubted that but didn't comment on his suspicions and instead put the pot away and then proceeded to usher Kathryn back to her seat. In that moment Samantha came through the door and went straight towards Janeway. "You wanted to talk to me Captain?"

"Ah yes we had got slightly off topic." Kathryn answered before giving Mortimer Harron a sign to come over which he did straight away. "Have a look at this PADD you two. As you know we won't give the Klingon and Romulan ships access to the slipstream drive technology so we need to find a way to pull them through with us. 2 ships can pull 1 of theirs but that will put a massive amount of stress on our ships and the slipstream drives themselves also. This is more into Quantum mechanics which you two specialise in hence why I asked you here. I'm thinking if we double the amount of drives on each of our ships they should hold though I rather go with triple to be on the safe side. But would the ships themselves hold through that kind of stress? For example we need only 2 drives so 6 to have a permanent drive here as _Voyager _is a small ship but a ship the size of the _Enterprise _needs 8 alone so 24 on there most likely if not more. How can we minimise the hull stress while pulling? We also need to make sure that our tractor beams are strong enough."

Sam and Mortimer now looked at each other before the former answered. "The theory is good and we would only need minor modifications apart from that. But we will need some time to look through this all and to study the background of the ships so we can pair the right ships together."

Mortimer was not to be outdone. "We would need the specifications of the ships to be pulled, or to be more precise the hull components, and then those of our own. If we get this wrong a pairing which is even slightly off with the calculations for the shielding will be pulled apart. We should be able to have a working proposal with you tomorrow afternoon if we can have the info we need. Also could we look through your logs on the drives themselves Captain?"

"Of course I will give you access to that. All my data on it is already on PADDs for the engineers from the other ships which Admiral Patterson should have. Let me get you a copy." With that Kathryn went over to Matt who by now had calmed down. Owen and Alynna who sat by him quietly listened to their conversation. "Admiral Patterson, can you give me two PADDs with the slipstream drive info?"

Matt was obviously confused. "What for? And stop calling me Admiral Kathy my name is Matt as you well know."

"Owen for me please."

Alynna also had to add her own in. "Just call me Alynna."

"But..."

Smirking Alynna interrupted her. "No buts! It isn't like you won't be an Admiral soon yourself anyway. And we so called brass don't go around calling each other by our ranks."

A flabbergasted Kathryn could only stare at them in silence which had all three chuckling.

"What did you expect Kathryn?" Owen asked her before he practically started lecturing her. "You have been out here alone as highest ranking Starfleet officer for over 7 years. In that time you not only did a very good job with your crew as Captain but you also were an exceptional ambassador for the Federation and all it stands. While we never said anything after we all got here we all read your logs back in the Alpha quadrant already. You are an accomplished scientist, an exceptional engineer, a tactician of the highest order and a leader the likes of which we have rarely seen. What you have done with this crew alone is phenomenal! You had well over 400 first contacts 90% of which went well which is unusual even back home. And don't let me get started on what you did against the Borg or the slipstream drives."

"But my crew..."

Alynna interrupted her again. "Would not have come this far without you, they have already made that more then clear. Anyway enough of that! When we get back debriefings will come first so you have some time to think about what you want to do and we will then give you more details of what we have in mind as well. Now why do you need those PADDs?"

"I.." Kathryn now had to clear her throat. "I asked Crewman Mortimer Harron and Ensign Samantha Wildman to have a look at the schematics we need for the pulling of the 6 non Starfleet ships to the Transwarp hub. They are my best people for Quantum mechanics."

"Why didn't you ask people from the other ships as well? You have the crews of 12 ships now Kathryn. And I know for a fact that they each have some people for that as well." Owen asked her.

An embarrassed Kathryn hated to admit it but... "I didn't think of them."

Laughter from all three could be heard though Alynna quickly took pity on her. "You will get used to having backup around again. Come with me I introduce you to the other Captains, I believe you only know Jean – Luc and his crew?" With that Alynna grabbed Kathryn by the arm and started walking to introduce her to the different senior crews but stopped to look at Kathryn in concern after only a few steps. "You seem a bit pale and are also slightly limping is everything alright?"

A grimace answered her. "My right hip and leg aren't healing as fast as the Doctors thought it would. At the end of a day as long as this one they play up."

"That isn't all is it?" Came the quiet inquiry at which point Kathryn only stared at Alynna in silence. "I am your CO Kathryn though I am hoping we can also be friends. In both cases I see it as my duty to help you if I can." Alynna stopped talking and looked at Kathryn long and hard before sighing. "I should have seen this coming. You aren't comfortable with having so many people you don't know around you. I can see the same reaction in your crew who are the only ones here who have not mixed in with the other crews though their discomfort is admittedly showing to a lesser degree."

When Kathryn turned to look she had to admit Alynna was right. While all the other senior staffs had long since mixed her crew still sat together near her family by themselves quietly talking with each other. "Admiral, I..."

"No Kathryn, don't apologise under the circumstances it is only normal. And don't go back to Admiral if you think I am angry which I am not." Alynna stopped again and thought for a minute. "Okay leave me the part of bringing your two crew members together with the experts from the other ships. You go grab your Doctor and get something for the pain. Afterwards go straight back to your quarters... in fact." Alynna turned around and called Will Riker over. "Commander can you please escort Captain Janeway to sickbay and then to her quarters?

A charming smile answered her. "Of course Admiral." Then Will offered Kathryn his arm and escorted her out of the mess hall while Alynna quickly stepped towards Samantha Wildman after wishing the Captain a good night.

Quietly Will asked her. "Do you want Deanna?"

With a slight glare Kathryn answered him. "No, I just need some pain relieve and rest. Sickbay and then my quarters please."

"Of course."

15 minutes later she had her pain taken care of and Will had brought her to her quarters where she quickly got changed and then practically fell into her bed. After waking up the next morning she would not remember her head hitting the pillow she had been that exhausted.

* * *

Over the next 3 days the modifications to the ships were completed at which point they made their way home. As promised by Kathryn barely a week earlier they did get back within the week though it took longer then that for the _Voyager_ crew to be truly free. People had been dismayed at the loss of life but overjoyed by the return of not only the remaining Fleet ships but also by the return of _Voyager _and most especially their Captain who had become an instant celebrity. Out of respect to Janeway and what she had been through Starfleet was shielding them as much as they could but they hadn't got away without a parade to welcome them back and to celebrate the destruction of the Borg Queen and the hive mind. For nearly 6 hours the entire crew had to put up with being paraded around, till the senior staff, bar Chakotay who had vanished an hour earlier, realised the impact this had on their still weakened Captain and brought her into a private room. As soon as they had her sitting down the Doctor checked her vitals and B'Elanna rounded on the Brass with them.

"Don't you think it is enough yet?" She practically growled at them. "Or have you forgotten what happened to our Captain? For 2 months she was a prisoner, tortured on a daily basis and completely isolated from everyone she knew! And don't you dare forget the over 7 years we were alone out there before that, none of us are used to this kind of attention, but it is much worse for her. Even we can't fully understand but... just look at her! This is too much!" Indeed Kathryn was by now completely pale and while laying on the couch with closed eyes, she jumped every time someone came near her.

Admiral Hayes was the first to answer her. "The people are celebrating the destruction of the Borg and the return of their loved ones in the form of not only the former drones but also your own. Of course they want to see not only you but also the hero who made it all possible. She is a celebrity and the sooner she learns to live with it the better!" He told her coldly.

"Oh shut up you old windbag!" Tom now told him and looked at his crew mates before coming to a decision. "Fine you want to ride on her fame? How about this then... either you go out there and end this or we will resign from Starfleet right now! And if we do it then the entire crew of _Voyager _will follow! What you going to do then? Because I assure you, you won't have any of us left and we will make sure to tell everyone how you were treating their hero!" With those words the entire senior staff had stepped up beside him to show their support while the Brass could only stare at them in horror.

"Enough!" Alynna, who had come in a minute earlier, spoke up at last and turned first towards Admiral Hayes. "Adrian you know they are right. Their entire crew has been in near complete isolation for too long but for Captain Janeway this is much worse. I ordered you to keep this as small as possible and instead this has become a circus!" She now turned towards the _Voyagers. _"Let's get Kathryn back on her feet and then try to wrap this up within the hour, but I must warn you. If I see any of you talking like that to a senior officer again I court marshal the lot of you are we clear?"

"I assure you they will behave themselves Admiral." Janeway answered her and glared at her staff while slowly, with the help of the Doctor, getting back to her feet.

"Captain..." Now came from not only her staff but also from large parts of the brass.

She just held up her hands to quiet them. "No, I don't want to hear it. As Admiral Nechayev said one more hour and we are out of here and can go see our families. In the meantime each of you will behave yourselves as you should be not only as a Starfleet officers but also as part of my senior staff." She looked each of her officers in the eyes long and hard to make sure they would do as she told them. "Right lets go. The sooner this is behind us the sooner we can go be with our families."

* * *

As promised by Alynna within the hour the 'circus' was wrapped up and she gave the orders to beam the _Voyagers_ all out to the _Enterprise_ for a private reunion. Their Captain had been adamant for them to have this done privately and without the press, so her crew could truly relax, which all of them were thankful for. As soon as the first group was beamed up, nothing could hold them any more and they started running into their families waiting arms. It was chaotic to say the least and people had to look at times for quite a while to find their loved ones. The last to beam up were the senior staff members who all watched quietly for a minute.

"Its been one hell of a ride but we did it guys. We are home and can have our reward now." Tom spoke up. He had of course already seen his father but the rest of his family was no where to be seen so far. "We will stay in contact won't we?"

Janeway spoke up first. "Yes Tom, I have already opened a message board where we can always find each other to get up to date on news and all that, all members of the crew have already been informed about that. Didn't B'Elanna tell you?"

"I did but he must not have listened." His wife answered while giving Tom a glare of death.

Kathryn now spied an elderly couple coming towards them. "Harry I believe that your parents are waiting for you. Or is that not them?"

Harry looked at the couple she pointed out and without a word to them started running. "Mom! Dad!" Could be heard before he was out of range. They all watched with a smile as he ran into the arms of his crying parents.

Tuvok tabbed Kathryn on the shoulder to get her attention which made her flinch. Seeing who it was she apologised. "I'm sorry Tuvok, I suppose I'm still a bit jumpy."

He only nodded in understanding. "Understandable Captain, no need to apologise. I have seen my family so I wanted to say farewell for now. I will return to Vulcan with them and will see you during the debriefing in the new year." He held up his hand in the traditional Vulcan way. "Live long and prosper."

Kathryn nodded at him while copying his gesture. "Live long and prosper." Then Tuvok was gone.

Kathryn now turned around to speak to Chakotay, who they had found just before being beamed out, but to her consternation he had already left. B'Elanna saw this and quietly started speaking to her. "He still being an evasive p'tak?

Kathryn raised an eyebrow at her in answer before speaking. "I have only talked privately to him once since I came back on board and that was while I was still in sickbay. He misunderstood something I did during it and has been staying away ever since. He even went so far as to change his duty shift hours. I don't want to order him to talk to me so I have to let him go."

"Want me to talk to him?"

Kathryn closed her eyes before answering. "No B'Elanna, I have to respect his decision. Please let this go."

"But he is hurting you!" The Lt argued.

Kathryn glared at her and snapped back. "B'Elanna! Leave this alone, it is none of your business."

"Is that an order Captain?"

She now looked intensively into B'Elannas eyes. "No, but I am asking you as your friend."

B'Elanna promptly backed down when she saw the hurt in Kathryns eyes. "Okay but as your friend I am not happy about this."

Quietly Kathryn murmured, "Neither am I." before raising her voice again. "While on the ship I could not allow it now that we are home please call me Kathryn, you are after all one of my best friends. The same is also extended to Tom."

"Okay, Kathryn." B'Elanna now clearly hesitated before speaking again. "And while we are on that topic... could... could you please call me... Lanna?"

"Lanna? Why that?"

"You remember when I went to the Barge of the Dead by going into a coma?" She asked.

Kathryn did indeed. "Yes you nearly died that day, twice for that matter, it's not something I like to remember."

"In a part of the dream, hallucination or whatever you want to call it the representation of you called me that. My mother used to call me that also and I liked it when it came from you."

Kathryn was truly touched. "I will, Lanna."

In that moment Tom stepped up to them with Miral in his arms. "B'Elanna I have found my mother and sisters will you come meet them?"

"Of course. Kathryn I will call you tomorrow okay?" With that she gave Kathryn a quick hug and after getting a nod B'Elanna left with Tom.

Kathryn now turned towards her remaining senior staff with a raised eyebrow. "Anyone knows where Icheb and Neelix are?"

"Icheb already went with Grandma and Phoebe to Indiana Mom." Seven answered her while the Doctor told her that Neelix was with the Wildmans.

"Okay then lets try and get out of here before we get stopped or worse the press figures out where we are. Alynna said there is a private transport waiting for us so lets find Captain Picard." Kathryn answered and then turned towards the doors. She had already said her goodbyes to the crew who all had info on how to contact her if something was wrong or they had a problem. For now she had only one goal in mind – home!

* * *

A day later Tom Paris opened the door of his family home to find Chakotay in front of him. He of course knew about the situation between his Captain and the Commander and like his wife he wasn't very happy about it. But while B'Elanna had given a promise to Kathryn not to say anything he was under no such obligation. Looking back into the house to make sure B'Elanna didn't see he closed the door behind him to speak to Chakotay alone. "What are you doing here Commander?"

"Please Tom it is Chakotay, I have resigned from Starfleet and have come to say goodbye." Chakotay now told him.

Tom was confused. "Goodbye? We have the debriefing in a couple weeks or have you forgotten?"

"No I won't be there. I..."

Tom interrupted him before he could continue. "What do you mean? You won't be there? You were _Voyagers _first officer you have to be there!"

Chakotay was getting seriously annoyed. "I won't be! I'm leaving in 6 hours and I'm not coming back – ever!"

Tom raised an eyebrow at him. "So you are going to let her down again? Don't you think she went through enough over these last couple months without you always adding to her burden?"

"I haven't done anything to B'Elanna..."

Tom now officially had enough and punched Chakotay who went down to the floor, then he started whispering to him with an intense look in his eyes which actually had Chakotay a little bit scared.

"You selfish little bastard know very well that isn't who I am talking about! Listening to you I could think it was you that was tortured for 2 months! You who has new powers you are scared of! You that now has the press hounding every step you take! And you who can only sleep for a maximum of 2-3 hours before waking up due to the flashbacks and nightmares! But it wasn't you at all was it? No it was Kathryn Janeway... but you wouldn't know about that would you? After all you barely even bothered to talk to her! Fine, let her down again and let us pick up the pieces it's not like we aren't used to it by now." Chakotay was now staring at Tom in shock but he wasn't finished. "But just so you know, if you do this don't ever come near her or the crew again. Because if you do I will kill you myself!" With that said Tom turned around, stepped into the house and let the door fall closed with a loud bang behind him.

From within Chakotay could now hear B'Elanna. "Tom who was at the door?"

"No one important, don't worry about it." Came the answer from Tom and Chakotay closed his eyes in pain thinking about what he had been told, he would be standing there for another couple hours before leaving to catch his transport at the last minute.

* * *

**Authors notes! **

Okay in case any of you are wondering I am moving within a couple weeks and also starting a new job. So while it will be a while before I update again it will happen. The last scene here was important Chakotay will soon come around but exactly how much damage has he already done?


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9  
**

Deep space 9, Orbit around Bajor

It had already been a week since Chakotay had left earth and while he was full of remorse about leaving as he did he was still not ready to admit that he left the place he needed to be at behind him. He had spend his Christmas on a transporter and was now determined to get to his sister on Trelis IV before the new year. Unfortunately it would be another two days before his connecting flight would arrive so he had gone to find himself something to eat at Quarks bar when he saw something on the FedNews which grabbed his attention.

"_This is Jennifer Larson live in front of Captain Kathryn Janeways family home in Bloomington, Indiana. As you all know no one had been allowed to see the reunions between the crew of the Voyager and their families and no interviews have been given by any of them since their return. In fact every single member of the crew has gone into seclusion. No one has come out of the home of the Janeway family either though we know that the Captain is in there. Now for the first time something seems to be happening. A private shuttle is approaching which we can not identify, it is not from Starfleet so maybe a friend is visiting. Has the moment come that we will see the Captain emerge from the house? Watch here, live!"_

_

* * *

_

3 minutes earlier, Janeway home, Bloomington, Indiana

"The reporters are still out there don't they ever give up?" Seven asked after having yet another look out the kitchen window. She had to admit the reporters made her nervous and she wanted them gone – preferably yesterday.

Gretchen gave her a smile from the table where she was sitting with Kathryn and the Doctor. "They are just vultures, ignore them. Starfleet is keeping them at bay they can't come to the door and have to stay off the property."

"I'm sorry Mom, I know all this bothers you. If I could get rid of them and the security, who are here because of them, I would." Kathryn had felt guilty about it all for a while and now openly apologised while sipping on a freshly brewed cup of coffee. "Hmm... there is absolutely nothing, in any part of the universe I have been in, like real coffee." She groaned which made her mother smile.

"And you had to travel over 70,000 light years to figure that out?" Seven asked her in mock disgust.

Kathryn just grinned at her before answering to the amusement of all. "No, but I had to pick you up after all!"

"Thank god you did too." The Doctor now piped up.

"That's..." Seven now saw something out of the corner which made her pause and looked back out the window. "Is that a shuttle coming towards the house? I didn't know we are expecting visitors."

Kathryn frowned before answering. "Not that I know of. Mom? Doctor? You expecting anyone?" When she saw the confused expressions on the faces of everyone else she got up and stepped beside Seven to have a look herself.

"Well, security is doing its job and not letting them in. Look they stopped them just outside the property with all the reporters. Lets just wait and see who it is." Gretchen commented.

All four of them were now standing around the window watching quietly as the shuttle doors opened and a male figure came out to speak to security. Not quite a minute later he started walking towards the house with an escort.

The Doctor was squinting against the sun and couldn't recognise the face. "Anyone know him?"

Gretchen did indeed and she started smiling. "That's..."

"HOBBES!" Came now the loud shout from Kathryn. The three remaining people in the room could only watch as she ran out of the house, into the snow without proper warm clothing and past the security and reporters as fast as she could just to run into the waiting arms of a laughing Mark "Hobbes" Johnston.

"Mark! Where did you come from? I thought you wouldn't be able to return from Risa till after the new year! And where is your family? I haven't met them yet and you know how curious I am." She asked him breathlessly while being twirled around in his arms. She had completely forgotten about the reporters by this time who, while keeping a respective distance, had their cameras on the two of them.

"God Kath, it's so good to see you but let me look you at before you bombard me with questions." Mark said and stepped back a bit, while still holding onto her. "Too thin as always and you need some sun but apart from that I see Earth seems to suit you. After so many years I was sure you had space legs!" He was being polite though and his concern was rising it didn't look like Kathryn had enough sleep, there were dark circles under her yes which were mostly hidden by her make up but if you knew her well enough and looked closely they were definitely there. _"Hopefully my little surprise will help." _He thought quietly to himself.

"Kathryn Elisabeth Janeway!" Gretchen could now be heard shouting from the veranda in front of the house. "Running out here in a T-shirt and jeans without even proper shoes! Are you regressing back to being 12 years old or just insane?"

Kathryn now had to look down at what she was wearing or rather not wearing and with a slightly sheepish "Oops!" she and Mark started laughing again. "I didn't even realise Mom." She answered after she had managed to catch her breath to the amusement of all who were watching.

"That much is obvious! Get back here and put your boots and a jacket on before you catch your death!" Gretchen snapped back while trying to hide her own laughter. The Doctor and Seven had no such scruples though and were laughing loudly at the scene the two of them were making.

While Mark and Kathryn made their way up the stairs more people were leaving the shuttle craft who so far had went unnoticed.

"Now Mark tell me what you are doing here?" Kathryn asked while putting dry socks and boots on and handing her mother the wet slippers.

A mock look of hurt now came over Marks face. "What am I not allowed to have missed you?"

A roll of Kathryns eyes was his answer and she looked at him in suspicion. "Of course you are but I know you better then that! That look on your face means you are up to something."

"I just want to introduce you to my family while also using the chance to give something back which belongs to you." Mark answered her with a smirk before turning to the so far unidentified three others who had come out of the shuttle. "The beautiful lady with the blond hair is my wife Maria, the rascal is my son Benjamin and the little girl in Marias arm is my youngest child Kianna." He finished with a proud look.

Maria went straight over to Kathryn and gave her a hug. "Nice to meet you I waited a long time for this."

A certain Captain was not to be deterred though. "Nice to meet you as well but what did he mean with 'something back'?"

There was a twinkle in Marias eyes. "Well..." She turned towards Ben who had stayed near the shuttle. "She is getting on in years, has arthritis and due to that isn't very active any more. In fact she is very lazy now and mostly sleeps all day but... Ben show your Aunt Kathy what we brought, please."

The little blond boy in front of them was grinning when he stepped to the side to give free view of a great red/brown lump lying in the snow.

"Molly...?" Kathryn practically breathed out.

At the sound of that name the 'lump' moved and became a dog who slowly came to her feet and then cautiously approached.

Kathryn stretched her right hand out so Molly could have a good sniff and with a tremendous smile asked quietly. "Do you remember me girl?"

"Woof!"

In the next few seconds chaos broke out on the veranda as Kathryn could not hold the seemingly hysterical dog. While she did manage to stay on her feet, thanks to a fast thinking Seven who held her up, everyone got knocked around quite a bit as Molly started jumping up and down while trying to get to Kathryn. "I thought you said she can't move much!" She practically shouted while trying to stay on her feet.

Mark and Maria were watching the scene in shock. "She can't and doesn't – normally!"

A laughing Kathryn quickly ran down the steps where there was more space to try and calm Molly, while minimising the damage to everyone else, with the dog following in her footsteps. "Yes girl it's me. I missed you too but calm down!"

Molly wasn't to be deterred though and continued jumping up to try and lick Kathryns face, who was trying to get a grip on the dog but failing miserably. The next second there was a loud "Thump! " Kathryn had managed to get a hold of Molly at last but she had not counted on having a squirming 30kg dog all over her so she had fallen over backwards and landed in a big pileup of snow. Molly was practically lying on top of Kathryn now and enthusiastically licking her face while the slight woman trapped beneath her couldn't stop laughing and stroking the dog.

* * *

"_Well it looks like we did manage to get some Voyager reunion pictures though I doubt anyone expected this. I suppose all that is left to say is: Welcome home Molly." The reporter finished with a smile._

Chakotay had watched the news with rapt attention so far but now it seemed there was only a discussion and no more live pictures of Kathryn so he turned away from the projector just to jump in surprise when he realised he wasn't sitting alone any more. In front of him sat a young Vulcan who seemed strangely familiar. "Who are you?" He asked in confusion.

The Vulcan just raised his right eyebrow slightly at those words before answering. "My name is Sek, I believe you know my father Tuvok? You aren't an easy human to find it took me longer then we expected but it is urgent that we talk Commander."

"Tuvoks son?"

"Indeed sir, I'm his oldest son and I work for Ambassador Spock who has send me to find you. Would you please come with me to see the Ambassador?" The Vulcan answered.

If Chakotay was confused he didn't show it. "While I am not sure what he would want from me who am I to say no? Just lead the way." With those words Chakotay stood up and followed Sek. During the walk he tried getting information on what Spock wanted from him but Sek kept quiet.

10 minutes later Sek stopped and opened the doors to what Chakotay knew to be high class quest quarters. Only seconds after the doors had closed behind them Ambassador Spock came through another door and greeted him. "Ah Commander Chakotay welcome. I hope we did not inconvenience you by this abrupt meeting?"

"I am waiting on a connecting flight which does not leave for 2 days so no you most certainly did not though I am confused as to the nature of this meeting? Oh and please do not call me Commander I have resigned from Starfleet." Chakotay now answered.

Spocks eyebrows rose and he calmly said. "I do not believe that to be the case Commander. You are still a member of Starfleet as the situation is now you can not resign." Seeing that Chakotay was about to protest he held up his hand to stall and quickly shut him up with his next few words. "You have to be in full control physically and mentally to be able to resign. We do not believe that to be the case for you."

Chakotay now stared at them in shock so Sek continued where Spock had left off. "You remember of course what happened 6 months regarding the so called mutiny on _Voyager?"_ A slight nod was his answer. "Unknown to everyone Teero had left two more 'gifts' in case the mutiny failed. One was for my father who found out only weeks later that he had what appeared to be a degenerative disorder which would have slowly driven him into insanity without access to a family member. Teero caused that to hide what he left behind in you."

"Hide? That was useless wasn't it? You can't hide a mutiny!" The Commander now protested.

Spock spoke up again. "That wasn't what needed to be hidden. When Tuvok returned to Vulcan he melded with his wife T'Pel who then contacted me with what she found while healing Tuvok. Teero seemed to have had a grudge against you especially and tried to destroy you from within. Why exactly he did so we don't know but the evidence of what he did is clear. We are here to heal you."

Chakotay by now didn't know what to think and just sank to the floor. "What was this 'gift' for me?" He whispered.

"Basic changes to your personality which seemed to occur over time hidden behind an extra large dose of guilt so that you would start pulling away from those closest to you. Your temper so that you would 'lose' it easier is a perfect example. These changes would happen slowly over time so that people wouldn't realise what was truly happening and we understand that there was also another human illness which exaggerated the problem for you. It truly is remarkable that the only time you truly lost it was against the Captain of your vessel and that she survived the attack. Teero essentially 'programmed' you to kill." Sek now told him. "We already know that you injured the Captain while under this influence and while I have not been able to ask my father for more information yet you have to admit that you have indeed pulled away from those you care most about. I do not believe you would be here if that hadn't happened."

Chakotay ignored the last part and concentrated on the changes. "But wouldn't he have a defence mechanism in case it is found out?"

Spock nodded here. "Yes that is there. We are using our own mental abilities to help you stay in control of yourself for now. It is a security measure and I apologise for it but it is necessary."

"You want to mind meld with me am I correct?"

"It is the only way to bring the true you back on a permanent basis without having constant attention for it." Sek answered. "We know you likely won't be comfortable with this but it is our best option."

"How long will that take? And who else knows about this?"

"We will need to bring you to Vulcan so that several masters can work with you. We want to make sure that there are no surprises left after we are done. My fathers help will be imperative and he will need the week we travel at least to recover from his own experience, maybe longer we will have to see. We hope to be done in time for your debriefings which start in 5 weeks." Sek answered the first question.

Spock saw it as his duty to answer the second question. "The head of Starfleet Medical knows of course though they are all under oaths and will not say anything. Admiral Nechayev is the only one who can find out the truth due to the clearance level required though if she does find out be prepared that Captain Janeway will likely find out. Alynna is very protective of Janeway and may see it as a way to protect her which she can do as you have proven yourself dangerous like you are now towards the Captain once before. Your resignation has been rescinded till after you are in full control again – if you want to resign later that is up to you."

"Promise me something first then." At the raised eyebrows of the two Vulcan men he elaborated. "I don't want the _Voyagers _to know about this at least not from you. If the Admiral talks we can't do anything but none of those who are involved in my treatment will talk about it."

"But..."

"No let me explain." Chakotay stopped them with that before taking a breath. "I feel like myself right now and if there is one thing I know its that I hurt a lot of people in the last 6 months. While it may only be those personality changes talking I want the chance to earn the trust I have lost back on my own terms. Kathryn alone..." He trailed off thinking of what Tom had told him before finishing with determination. "She needed me more then ever these last couple weeks since we rescued her from the Borg. I gave her a promise to always be at her site but I wasn't there for her when she needed me most and even now still won't be for a while. I want to earn her respect and trust back myself. Do you understand what I am saying?"

Twin nods were his answer. "We promise."

* * *

The next two weeks were very busy for Kathryn, there had been slight problems with a lot of the _Voyagers_ which ranged from forgotten stuff which was still on the ship all the way to problems with housing. While her crew hadn't asked her to get involved the moment she found a hint about it there was nothing stopping her and they all had to admit having her name involved made everything a lot easier to solve. Now it was Sunday afternoon though and she had spent the day with her 5 year old niece Kathy. Seven and the Doctor had left that morning to spend time in Venice at a museum they were interested in so it was only those two and Gretchen in the house. It had been quiet for the last hour when Gretchen heard the doorbell go off and went to open it.

"J.P what are you doing here?" She asked in surprise.

The elderly Admiral was in full uniform and just smiled at her. "Hello Gretchen, I'd like to talk to Kathryn if I could please?

"Of course, come in. She is in the study with Kathy, my grandchild, so just follow me I take you to her."

J.P had to smile at the name and while following her through the house asked. "Named after her aunt I assume?"

"Yes, as you probably know we had believed Kathryn to be dead so Phoebe named her daughter to remember her by. It's an apt name for her she looks and acts just like Kathryn did at the same age." Gretchen told him with a smile just as she opened the door to the study where both of them stopped in surprise.

"Precious." J.P whispered to her. Kathryn and Kathy were lying curled up near their open fireplace on the floor sleeping with Mollys head poking out at them from behind.

Gretchen had to chuckle. "Should have known that Molly is here too. She hasn't left Kathryns side since Mark brought her over."

"Ah yes I saw that on the news." At Gretchens raised eyebrow J.P elaborated. "There aren't many reunion pictures and the greeting Kathryn got by that dog is seemingly big news. They have this amazing photo also where you can see Kathryn laughing while looking at Molly who is jumping up at her. It's practically dripping with the adoration those two have for each other."

Both of them jumped in surprise when Kathryns voice rang through the room with an accompanied snort. "As if they have nothing better to report." They turned to see her getting up and gathering little Kathy in her arms to then lay her down on the couch. "Give me a minute and I come through to the living room."

"Did we wake you?" Gretchen asked.

"No don't worry. Was just dozing for a bit." With those words Kathryn wrapped her niece into a blanket and then walked with them out of the room, with Molly promptly following.

"I get you two something to drink. Earl grey for you still J.P?" Gretchen asked and after she got a nod from the man in question she left for the kitchen.

"What can I do for you Admiral?" Kathryn asked after they sat down.

He looked at her in concern and before he could stop himself blurted out. "You look horrible!"

"I think you know better then to say something like that!" She shot back with a glare. "I believe I asked what I can do for you?" She asked again.

He sighed as he realised she wouldn't say anything on how she really is. "Straight down to business hmm? Very well but call me J.P you will be part of the brass soon enough and I will only be in an advisory function for Starfleet soon or so I hope anyway."

"A Starfleet Admiral never really retires." Kathryn countered.

J.P had to smile at that. "True enough. But I'm actually here to talk to you about your debriefing and not my possible future retirement."

"Oh?" She looked at him in interest now.

He took a deep breath before starting to explain. "To start with we will be handling your debriefings differently then normal. While your crew goes through the normal one you will be going to member worlds of the Federation to be part of different conferences to discuss your experiences within a milder form of debriefings or that will be the excuse to the public anyway. The real reason will be to get to know different factions within the Federation and of course Starfleet."

"I don't want to go into space right now, I only just got home!" Kathryn objected here.

He looked at her sheepishly. "Sorry but this has already been decided, you can not change it. I'm just letting you know ahead of time so you can think about some options we have for you."

"Which are?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.

"Under normal circumstances we would be sending an aid for you but Counsellor Troi has vetoed that on your behalf. She does not think it would be wise to just send you someone you don't know with whom you would have to work so closely together over a longer period of time. While it took a while to come to an agreement we decided instead to give you a member of your crew you can choose yourself_. _Just let us know whom you would like to take." He explained.

"_6 months ago I wouldn't have needed to think about this." _Kathryn now thought with a pang before taking a deep breath. "I will need to think about that and also speak to my crew to see who would be willing without outright asking them."

He looked at her in amusement now. "Why not just ask?"

"Because I suspect that anyone I asked would come whatever their situation is. For example if I asked Tom or B'Elanna I would be splitting them up and they have Miral to think about. I opened a message board for the crew to stay in contact with before our leave started so I will have a look there to see who would feel okay about going back to space so soon."

J.P nodded in agreement. "That makes sense but to be honest I thought you would ask your first officer?"

A flash of pain could be seen on Kathryns face before her mask came up. "No Chakotay and I are both of the opinion that we shouldn't work together any more."

J.P had seen her momentary pain and while curious he knew that they didn't know each other well enough for her to answer such a personal question. "And what about those who are staying here with you?"

"I don't want to split up Seven and the Doctor as I believe that they are starting a relationship and Icheb is already at the Academy." She answered him now with clear amusement in her voice.

J.P laughed at the pairing before confusion came over his face at where Icheb was. "What is the story with that boy anyway? I thought he didn't have to go to the Academy till after the debriefings are done?"

She looked at him in confusion for a second before understanding dawned. "As you know he is part Borg like you, but there is a difference between an Adult and a child getting assimilated. Their characters take on certain Borg characteristics, in Icheb it is that he hates not having something to do. Seven is very similar in that point though he does find it easier then her to relax and have fun."

"She was assimilated at age 6 correct?" He now asked quietly.

Kathryn nodded at this. "Yes and while she is an adult now there are certain parts in her which are still very childish. She was essentially raised by the Borg but certain parts like her human emotions were of course completely ignored. For example there have been times when it was literally like putting a 6 year old to bed when she needed to regenerate." She finished with a roll of her eyes. "Both Seven and the Doctor are about the same age if you think about it and have always helped each other. I believe they can make a good pairing."

He laughed at that which made her realise that their topic had derailed. "Back on topic though. How long will that so called debriefing be? "

"We are hoping to wrap the debriefings up within 8-10 weeks though that can take longer depending on the situation of course. You will be travelling on board of the _Enterprise _as we know that Jean – Luc thinks highly of you and there is also the added bonus of that Counsellor you get along with being there. She already asked for a transfer so she can stay near you but Jean – Luc understandably doesn't want to lose her either. Just in case it does take longer we are planning on having a official reception to welcome you all home shortly before your birthday. At that point in time we will hopefully have plans for your crews reassignments for which you will be needed here, not to forget your own of course but that is up to Alynna." He explained now.

She just nodded at that so he brought up the one point he knew she wouldn't like. "Before I go there is another thing..." He clearly hesitated before continuing. "It maybe a good idea if you think about speaking to the press. They are practically driving Owen insane and maybe they will back off a bit after you give an interview."

Kathryn was doubtful about that and it showed. "I rather think that would have the opposite effect once they sink their claws into any of us I doubt they will let go any time soon." At his amused smile she sighed. "I think about it but no promises." She now tried to stand up but her right leg gave way under her and if it weren't for J.P who caught her she would have fallen. "Damn leg! Sorry J.P..."

He looked at her in concern. "Are you alright?"

She was annoyed with herself for showing weakness and waved his concern off. "Yes just my leg still isn't fully healed. The Doctor is treating me and hopefully it will be okay by the time debriefings start."

"What exactly is wrong with it?"

With a rueful smile she answered him. "During my little escapade with the Borg Queen she practically crushed my right hip and part of my upper leg bone. The Doctor healed the bones but the muscles around that area are still playing up."

J.P winced at that. "Sounds painful."

"It was at the time." She admitted before a slight smile came onto her face. "Creeping around the Jeffreys tubes afterwards to get the other ships up and running again so we could equip Transwarp didn't help. I got lectured quite a bit for that and as the Doctor already told me repeatedly I'm now paying for my foolishness. But anyway don't worry about me it will be okay."

"If you are sure?" At her nod he squeezed her arms and let go then turned towards the door. "Okay I speak to you in a couple days then, take care of yourself Kathryn." When she started to follow him he waved her off. "Don't worry about seeing me out I know the way you just rest that leg."

She looked at him in relief now. "I will contact you by Friday with a decision on who I will take with me okay?"

A nod was her answer and then the elderly Admiral was gone.

* * *

Later that night Gretchen came into the study to find Kathryn shifting through messages on the _Voyager _board. She was hoping to have a quiet night in as Seven had to regenrate on _Voyager _and this was the first evening they were alone. She had watched quietly over the last couple weeks as Kathryn lost more and more weight and was determined that would change so had brought some sandwiches with her which she now deposited beside her daughter onto the table before sitting down beside her. Not quite a second later she could feel her daughter stiffening beside her. "What's wrong?" She asked.

Kathryn only looked at her for a second before looking back at the terminal. "I'm not sure yet but..." She hesitated not quite sure how to explain. At her mothers obvious confusion she tried again. "You remember the hand signals Daddy developed when Phoebe and I were small?"

"Of course."

"My crew knows about them as we found them useful in the Delta quadrant and..." Again she stopped for a minute before continuing. "Mom, there are some holo images on the board which are suspicious. I can't be sure of course because I never had to see them on still images but look here." With that Kathryn showed her mother a few images which had been posted by Naomi Wildman.

The images weren't of very good quality so Gretchen had to squint quite a bit to see them. "That image isn't very clear dear. I'm sure you are worrying about nothing."

Her daughter was still suspicious though. "Hmm..." The next second she started looking at more images leafing through them faster and faster. Not quite a minute later she sprang up and run out of the room much to Gretchens confusion.

"Kathryn where are you going?" She called after her but got no answer so followed the noise to her daughters bedroom. "What's going on?"

"Every image that was posted had the exact same sign Mom and they are not answering hails in fact haven't for days. Something is wrong I know it!" With those words she started hurriedly putting on some fresh clothing.

Gretchen now tried to calm her daughter down. "I thought the Wildmans are on Mars for the duration of your leave? It's nearly 11pm here and 3am there you won't get transport till the morning at which point you can contact them directly anyway. Just calm down I'm sure everything is fine."

A glare was her answer and Kathryn snapped. "The last time I ignored a bad feeling like this Seven was coerced into leaving _Voyager _by the Borg Queen. I won't make the same mistake again!"

"You still won't be able to get transport! Just calm down, this isn't the Delta quadrant. They are safe!" Gretchen argued back.

A grimace was on Kathryns face when she answered. "While I don't like abusing it rank does have its privileges. I'm going to _Voyager_ and will take the Delta Flyer." With those words Kathryn stormed past her mother and left the house.

Gretchen tried stopping her. "Kathryn be reasonable!" She shouted after her when she got to the front door but it was too late, her daughter was gone.

* * *

Anyone saw this coming? xD


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

That same night Alynna, Owen, J.P, Adrian Hayes, Captain Picard and Deanna Troi were meeting with several different members of Species 8472 to discuss the ongoing situation with the Ex-Drones. While people were overjoyed at the destruction of the hive mind and the return of many of those who were lost, the more time went by the more obvious it became that the situation was far from resolved. For many it was just too good to be true and there was still a lot of fear within the Federation while the returned Ex-Drones were completely traumatised by what they had experienced. It had become obvious very quickly that the sheer number of Ex-Drones was just too great to deal with by the Federation alone who also had the added problem that not only their own citizens returned but also members of other species who could not return to their home planets and instead asked for asylum. For Alynna it had been a very busy couple weeks and she was completely exhausted, to top it off she was now getting a headache just thinking of all the work she still had to do. She had been deep in thought about it all while the others had been arguing for the last half an hour but now returned her attention back to them only to realise that the topic of conversation was starting to shift.

Admiral Hayes was currently speaking. "...We just don't have the facilities to deal with the sheer number of people coming to us for help. While I'm certainly thankful to Captain Janeway for what she has done we just aren't in any way able to deal with this so shortly after the war. We are still in the process of rebuilding ourselves never mind helping the Drones."

"Ex-Drones, sir." Deanna couldn't help but point out.

A glare was her answer and he huffed. "Whatever! The point is that we already have over fifty thousand of them and more are arriving daily! And then we also have a Starfleet crew which was practically in exile for over seven years and are not comfortable with the attention they are getting. Captain Janeway alone has a security detail which has over 30 of my men."

Alynna snapped at this. "Adrian, that isn't fair and you know it! What happened to them was not their fault!" She stopped here for a minute to glare at him before taking a deep breath to continue more calmly. "You yourself agreed that Captain Janeway made the right decision with the destruction of the Caretakers array seven years ago despite the fact that it meant their stranding in the Delta quadrant. You have read their logs, start reading between the lines already! While we fought the Dominion they had to fight their own war out there – alone. Nothing like a quick call to us to get backup was possible for them. What do you think happened when even one member of that crew died? What did it mean for that crew? They not only lost a friend but they also lost valuable hands to help them which couldn't be easily replaced. I have checked the duty rooster for the last year the amount of hours they all logged for duty is far above what is normal. And that was just the last year! They had no counsellor to help them either so they did the probably only thing they could do under the circumstances. They put it to the site to deal with it later for the entire seven years. Sure they helped each other were they could but they needed and still need professional help."

Owen spoke up next. "I have done the maths, the lower deck crew are owed at least a year in holidays some of them even two. And the senior staff? Harry Kim alone is owed twenty-six months and he actually has the fewest hour out of them all logged! I know for a fact that there was more done which wasn't even logged officially. And that all is on top of what they did manage to get out there on friendly planets or even ones which were completely void of humanoid lifeforms. They did the best they could under impossible circumstances."

"How is Captain Janeway anyway?" 'Admiral Janeway' had been curious for a while and now just had to ask which quickly shut everyone up and nervous glances were thrown around between the Starfleet personnel.

In the end Alynna answered him with a sigh. "How do you think she is? I spoke with Gretchen Janeway just this morning, she is very worried about Kathryn. Apparently she is barely sleeping or eating for that matter and doesn't talk about what happened at all. The only time she seems 'normal' is when her crew needs something. Just on Friday she came storming into headquarters like a tornado and fought with three different members of the bras because there was a housing problem with a couple Crewmen. Which brings up another point. Could you please not use the image of Edward Janeway as your own? Kathryn was in the accident which killed him and she really does not need this reminder right now. So far you haven't met her but it can happen any day now with how much time you spent here." He nodded at her in understanding so she turned to Deanna Troi. "Without breaking confidentiality is there anything you can add?"

The counsellor was quiet for a minute before shaking her head. "There isn't much I could say even if I wasn't under an oath. While on board _Voyager _I thought I made a good connection with her she will only let me in so far and no further. Her powers are not helping, she is learning to control them unbelievably quickly and is blocking my own ninety percent of the time now. I can barely even read those emotions she does let through. Though I do know this... There is something else apart from what happened with the Borg Queen, something which is really hurting her but I'm damned if I know what it could be."

"Would her crew know?" J.P now asked.

A resigned sigh came from Deanna. "Probably? But they aren't talking. There is a lot of anger, confusion and also disgust at someone but I can't figure out at whom. They all care very much about the Captain and refuse to speak about what they see as a private matters of Kathryns. Does that answer your question?"

With an equally resigned sigh Alynna nodded before turning towards their guests who had tensed from one second to the other and were now turning towards the window. "What is it?"

It took a minute before an answer came from one of the unnamed security detail members. "It's Captain Janeway." But that was all any of them said before closing their eyes and concentrating on something else outside the room.

In confusion Alynna and the others watched them for a minute before Jean – Luc couldn't wait any more. "What is the matter with Captain Janeway? She should be safe and sound in bed in Indiana right now. And how would you know that from here anyway?"

"You forget that we aren't like any species you have met before." Came from 'Admiral Janeway' who now opened his eyes again before explaining further. "For many generations we have honed the type of powers Captain Janeway now has and it still takes us a lifetime to learn to truly control them. There are things which we know is possible to do but we just don't do them out of concern about what our bodies are actually capable of withstanding. Captain Janeway only had them for a couple months and is only just starting to learn about them and despite that fact she just used her powers to do one of the things even we wouldn't do."

"Which is...?" Came from Deanna.

"In this case it is teleporting over very large distances. We can use it safely for a distance of about five of your human miles before there is a strain on our bodies. Which is why we didn't just tell her how to do it while with the Queen even if her body then had been able to withstand that strain which it couldn't have. We don't even know for sure how far she can safely go, so far we only trained her up to a mile but she just teleported from her home in Indiana straight here to San Francisco."

In alarm Owen sprang up from his seat and moved towards one of the communication arrays in the room to contact Security. "Where in San Francisco is she? And can you tell us in what kind of shape she is from that?"

The 'Admiral' gave a controlled and calm aura off while his eyes betrayed his worry."From what we can tell physically she made the jump alright but she is exhausted. Its a mental ability so that is where it takes the most strain. She should be fine for another hour or so before her body will start to shut down though that amount of time is for someone of our species we can't tell how her body will react." At the looks of alarm he now received he quickly added. "I mean that she will fall unconscious, its an automatic response of the body to the strain she just had though I would like to point out that it wouldn't be wise for her to be alone. And no we can't pinpoint it any more then that she is in San Francisco."

Alynna had also stood up and went straight into 'Admiral mode'. "Okay Jean – Luc please contact Gretchen Janeway in Indiana, let her know that we are searching for Kathryn and ask her for any information she may has, her crew may also have some information. Start with the Senior staff then work your way down and lastly please get Beverly Crusher to meet Counsellor Troi and I near the Presidio we will search _Voyager._"

Picard wanted to protest that he was practically ordered on desk duty but the look on Alynnas face told him to just do as he is told. "Aye Admiral." With that he turned and quickly left the room.

Alynna now turned towards the other Admirals. "You three get security and organise a systematic search of the city. Owen concentrate your group on Headquarters and the immediate vicinity, J.P you get groups to search the rest of the city and Adrian please stay here in case we need extra backup... oh and also let Medical know to expect a patient. Coordinate with each other to get the best possible covering of the areas she is likely to be in." Identical nods from all three Admirals were her answer so she turned towards Deanna. "Good, lets go."

With that she left with the Counsellor while the remaining men in the room quickly moved to do as ordered. The five members of species 8472 in the room had watched so far but now the 'Admiral' spoke up again. "How can we help?"

In surprise the Admirals turned towards them again before throwing each other confused looks. They knew they couldn't just let them go out into a city they didn't know anything about and didn't want their guests in danger – or worse scare the inhabitants of the city. In the end Owen spoke up first. "Well can you try to pinpoint Captain Janeways location any more? Or just monitor her to make sure she stays conscious while we search for her?"

The Aliens clearly weren't happy with that but didn't want to argue so just did as they were told.

* * *

15 minutes later Beverly Crusher beamed down to the Presidio and made her way straight towards _Voyager _where she could already see Admiral Nechayev and Deanna Troi waiting for her. "Admiral, I came as fast as I could. Jean – Luc said that Captain Janeway is in trouble?"

"We don't know for sure what happened but we need to find her. Lets get inside the ship and see what we can find." With that Alynna turned towards the Cargo bay doors and manually over rode the security log out. When they got to the corridor on deck 10 she moved straight towards an access terminal to find out who, if anyone, was on board. "Computer, how many members of the crew are currently on board?"

The computer voice answered in its usual detached voice. "Unable to comply, the sensors are currently offline."

With a groan Alynna remembered. "Damn I forgot about code grey."

The two women with her just stared at her in confusion before Deanna spoke up. "What code grey? I have never heard of that."

Quickly Alynna explained what she meant. "It's a security feature in case of a possible boarding. They implemented it in the Delta quadrant after even that happened once too many times. In case of a boarding a code grey would be called which would scramble the systems. Weapons, warp and sensors whether internal or external wouldn't work. It also automatically activates if the entire crew leaves the ship at once. If you aren't a member of the original crew, sanctioned by at least two members of the Senior staff, then you won't get info on the crew or their locations at all. Kathryn did warn me about this but I completely forgot."

"That isn't helping us at all now. There are fifteen decks on this ship after..." Came from Beverly before she got interrupted by Alynnas comm badge which had activated.

"_Picard to Admiral Nechayev."_

Quickly Alynna tabbed it and spoke. "Yes Captain?"

"_I have spoken with Mrs Janeway, Admiral. She said that Captain Janeway wanted to get to the Delta Flier and that there is a possibility that something is wrong with the Wildman family which should currently be on Mars."_

"Delta Flier?" Came from Beverly in confusion.

Deanna spoke up before Alynna could. "It's one of the shuttle they build in the Delta Quadrant. From what Will told me it has a further range, better weapons and defences as well as better sensors then the normal class two ones. The shuttles they had before they build that one just weren't good enough for the Delta Quadrant."

"Shuttle bay then." Came from Beverly before all three turned and quickly made their over there.

* * *

At the same time, unknown to everyone, yet another group of people was on board making their way towards the shuttle bay. The so called '_Equinox_ five' had also seen the photos on the message board and had met up to get the Delta Flier. They hadn't dared to ask Starfleet for help but also couldn't leave a part of what they now saw as _their_ crew in possible danger. They rather broke the law once again, damn the consequences, then to do that. A nervous Marla Gilmore spoke up just as they were making their way down the corridors towards the shuttle bay doors. "We should have asked someone to help us. I'm sure any member of the crew would have, if not for us then for the Wildmans."

"Whom should we have contacted? The senior staff would be best but I only have the contact details for the Captain and I'd rather not disturb her at the moment. I saw her going into Headquarters last week, she did not look well at all – she needs her rest." Noah Lessing answered her.

"What is going on between you two anyway? I thought you got along well with her for the last year but you seem so nervous since she was rescued when she is mentioned." Brian Sofin now spoke up.

Noah looked at him for a minute before admitting quietly. "I walked into the Cargo bay a couple days after her rescue to find her practising her powers with that 'Boothby' guy. She practically pulverised this giant slap of stone they had beamed up for it with them."

"And? We all know she has them." Angelo Tassoni now asked.

"Well you all remember what happened when we originally came on board? How she tried to... kill me?" Four nods were his answer so he continued. "Well... she gave me the same kind of look on that day as she made when she pulverised that stone..."

All four of his friends grimaced at the thought alone before James Morrow spoke up. "She wouldn't hurt you."

"I know that! But knowing that intellectually is different from really believing it deep down. I'm just not comfortable with those powers. If she had that power then I'd be dead right now..."

Just then they walked through the shuttle bay doors and Marla gave off a startled cry. "Captain!"

Just outside the Delta Flier Kathryn Janeway lay on the floor unconscious and all five of them ran quickly to her side. Noah was the first to reach her and quickly kneeled beside his Captain to check her vitals with the help of a tricorder he had with him. "The readings are not the best, she is exhausted and weak right now but just needs rest and food then she should be fine."

A worried Brian spoke up. "Can you wake her? And what the hell happened for her to be here?" This was the last thing any of them had expected and they clearly didn't know how to react.

Marla saw the confusion of her friends and quickly took command of the situation. "Brian, Noah get her into the Flier. We should have some medical equipment in there and also a proper bed which must be more comfortable then the cold floor. Get her situated then we can see about waking her or if we should send for medical help."

Noah snorted now. "Have you looked at her yet? She weighs at most fifty kilograms. I can carry her." With those words he quickly bundled up Kathryn and took her inside the Flier which doors had already been opened by Angelo while the others followed.

Just as they were putting her onto a bed Kathryn came round with a groan and her right hand quickly went to her head. "Oh, that hurts!"

Marla moved to her site. "Captain are you alright?"

A startled Kathryn quickly opened her eyes. "Marla, what...?" She trailed off when she saw the other people with her. It took her a minute to get her bearings before answering the original question. "Yes, I'm fine just a headache from hell. What happened?"

"We just found you a couple minutes ago unconscious on the floor, Captain. Are you sure you are alright?" Brian now asked.

"I must have overdone it with the teleporting but yes I'm fine." Kathryn admitted now before her eyes went wide as she remembered. "Sam! Naomi! They need help." With that she tried getting up but was quickly stopped by Angelo.

"We know, it's why we are here too. Please Captain just rest for now, we don't want you to collapse again."

"Indeed!" A new voice now spoke up from behind them. Startled all six of them turned around quickly and saw Beverly Crusher coming towards them with a determined expression on her face. Unfortunately for Beverly she had forgotten how badly Kathryn reacts to being startled ever since being rescued... and she went flying backwards out the door...

A startled cry could be heard from outside. "Beverly!"

Shocked all six of those remaining in the room stood frozen for a couple seconds before Kathryn, who got over it fastest, started scrambling up and ran out the door just to stop as she saw Alynna and Deanna kneeling beside a dazed Dr Crusher who lay on the floor. Behind her she could hear that her crew had followed. "Oh god is she alright? I'm so sorry."

Deanna had quickly realised what had happened and after making sure that Beverly was alright moved to calm Kathryn down. "She is fine, she just didn't expect to have a flying lesson."

Kathryn couldn't help it she snorted at that. "Flying lesson? So that is what you call it now."

A smirk answered her before Beverly spoke up again just as Alynna helped her get up. "Don't apologise Captain, I know better then to startle you after all. Thanks for the 'lesson' but next time please warn me first so I can make sure to have a softer landing." Quiet giggling could now be heard from the five crew members behind Kathryn who were obviously trying but failing at hiding their amusement. Beverly had realised herself as well why she went flying and knew what Deanna was trying to do so used humour to hopefully get Kathryn to stop feeling guilty.

There was a knowing look on Janeways face though and both women realised that she had looked straight through their attempt. So with a resigned sigh Beverly moved her attention back to Kathryns health. "I heard you collapsed from that teleport? How are you feeling now? Any idea how long you were unconscious?" She quickly bombarded Kathryn with questions while scanning her.

Alynna meanwhile gave the crewmen telling looks to make sure they followed her then moved towards the front of the shuttle. All five of them abruptly stopped laughing and gulped in unison before following in her wake while Deanna looked at them in confusion. The amount of fear and resignation coming from them nearly overwhelmed her so after getting her bearings she quickly followed as well.

"What's going on?" She could hear coming from Alynna before she turned her attention to the five people she was concerned about. They were all standing at attention in front of the Admiral, Marla even looked as if she was going to be sick, but none of them would answer. With a glare Alynna prompted them again. "Well?"

Marla, despite her nervousness, was the first to speak. "We found the Captain unconscious outside the shuttle just a couple minutes ago. We moved her to the shuttle so we could have easier access to the medical equipment. We don't know what happened to her." She looked at Alynna in fear before practically begging. "Please Admiral, I know we haven't got the best track record but we would never hurt Captain Janeway. You have to believe us!"

Deanna spoke up here without thinking. "Why would you think that we believe you to have hurt her..." Before trailing off and remembering exactly which crew members the five of them were. "The _Equinox_..." While the exact situation of the so called _Equinox disaster _was classified Deanna had been informed as she was one of those counsellors handling the _Voyager _crew. More then enough of the story had leaked anyway but she truly knew everything which had happened. In pity she now looked at them and didn't really know what to say.

Alynna had to admit to herself that she never even thought of how this situation could look and now hurried to assure them. "Don't worry I know you didn't hurt the Captain. In fact we already have a pretty good idea of what happened." Seeing as this didn't calm them down she resorted to telling them the straight out truth of what she was thinking about them. "Believe me I was furious when I found out about what happened on your old ship and if I had got my hands you on then you would be in a penal colony right now and most likely for the rest of your lives!"

Deanna now looked at her in alarm but the Admiral just gave her a look telling her not to step in. "But the situation has changed and it did so long ago. While you probably don't know about any of this a certain Captain was arguing with me for months about what she called 'her crew'. In fact she risked her career to protect that crew." The shocked looks on their faces told her that Janeway had indeed not told them about what she had done so she continued. "Yes, that does include you. While at this time I can't tell you what the future will hold regarding your Starfleet careers you will not be court marshalled I can promise you that. I can honestly admit though that Captain Janeway alone did not change my mind."

Now there were six people who were pretty confused so with a smile she answered their unspoken question. "You yourself did! I read the letters you all send to FedNews when you as part of the _Voyager _crew begged for permission to rescue her. If there is one thing I have learned in these last couple months then it is that Alpha Quadrant standards just don't hold for the Delta Quadrant – especially not in the situation you all found yourselves in. Don't get me wrong I can never condemn what happened but I can at least try to understand and... forgive."

That did it for Marla and she promptly burst into tears. Noah quickly caught her in his arms and tried to calm her down but it was obvious to both Alynna and Deanna how relieved all five of them were. With a smile at Alynna Deanna moved towards them and quickly took Marla from Noah then started quietly talking to her.

* * *

A half an hour later Dr Crusher informed the Admiral that Kathryn was okay and the entire group sat down together to listen to what the _Voyagers _found on their message board. Alynna had quietly listened but couldn't help but be sceptical. "So because of some pretty unclear photos you are all here? Kathryn you risked your life with that teleport. You had no idea what would happen or if it was safe! And despite everything you five risked coming here and stealing a shuttle? Because of some images posted by a six year old child?" She finished while looked at the Crewmen.

"That isn't just any child... it's Naomi." Kathryn quietly told her. "You know already that she is half Katarian and through that matures much faster then normal. Being on _Voyager _all her life only accelerated that. She would never ask for help if she didn't really needed it. She knows those signs aren't made to play with. And in fact she never even tried to play with them. Please Alynna let us go!"

Quietly the Admiral looked at all six of them before turning to Beverly and Deanna. With her eyes only she asked for their opinion and after getting what she was looking for she turned back towards the _Voyagers. _"Fine." Relieved smiles broke out on all six faces now but Alynna wasn't finished. "But I do have a couple conditions for you first."

"What are the conditions?"

"We will be coming with you." Nods all around were her answer to that one so she continued. "We can't use Warp in the Inner planet ring so it will take us about 9 hours to get there, Kathryn you will spend that time resting in bed. We will wake you half an hour before we are due to land so that you can check on the Wildmans personally."

Kathryn desperately wanted to protest this condition but Alynna glared her down. "You are exhausted from that jump alone never mind the fact that you aren't one hundred percent anyway! You will rest even if Dr Crusher has to sedate you. Are we clear on that?"

"Aye Admiral!"

"And stop calling me by my damn rank already Janeway!"

* * *

So now lets be honest who expected the explanation on Chakotay in the last chapter? And who wants to strangle me for not posting what happened to the Wildmans yet? There are also a couple other points which I'm sure people think I have touched on and then proptly forgotten... Like for example I know I would be asking what the hell happened to Axum by now? I have not forgotten it is all part of the continued plot and the healing which will come once Chakotay returns. =)

I am in my new home now though still very busy. I update when ever I can I promise.


	11. Chapter 11

I had some comments from people wondering when Chakotay and Kathryn get together... All I can say is:

Did you read this story at all? Chakotay attacked her, completely ignored her when she needed him repeatedly and made it more then clear that he wanted nothing to do with her. There isn't going to be a quick fix! There wouldn't be in real life either and I am trying to make this realistic. Put the torture at the hands of the Borg Queen Kathryn went through on top and she is more then a little wary! Who wouldn't be? And life in the Alpha Quadrant won't be sunshine and roses either... -cough-

Also I apologise for the late posting of this chapter. First couldn't get this chapter done to my satisfaction and then my father had an accident at work. He is fine now and left earlier today but while he was ill he came to stay with me as he needed help and drove me nuts! I couldn't concentrate on writing with him here.

**Chapter 11**

Seven and a half hours later Alynna went to find Beverly who had asked to speak to her privately. She found her together with Deanna in the back of the Flier eating breakfast and went to the replicator to get herself some before joining them. "You wanted to talk to me?" With that invitation for Beverly to start talking she proceeded to practically devour her breakfast. The two women with her could only stare at her in surprise which she realised quickly. "I'm sorry but I just watched Kathryn eat and it made me hungry."

Before Deanna could stop herself her surprise at that slipped out. "She actually eats?"

"She does." Beverly confirmed quickly. "I don't understand it myself, she is losing all this weight but she eats normally... more then she apparently ever did on _Voyager _even. Mrs Janeway doesn't realise it yet because the Captain is out of the house a lot but the scans clearly show that she is eating quite a bit. Her EMH is just as perplexed as me but we can't make heads or tail of it. And giving her more then she can get down is useless."

Alynna now had a horrible suspicion. "Could she make herself deliberately sick to try and fool us?"

Beverly knew already that while it was a possible cause that wasn't it. "No, definitely not. Our scanners would pick up on it and while it would make sense after what happened, there is absolutely nothing to suggest it. As I said we don't understand it either. With the amount she currently eats she should put on weight but the opposite is happening and we just can't figure why yet. It is actually why I wanted to talk to you."

Alynna could only stare at her in confusion before voicing her own thoughts. "But if you don't know what is going on what do you expect me to do?"

"You are her CO..."

But before Beverly could say any more an impatient Alynna already interrupted her. "What does that have to do with Kathryn loosing weight?"

Beverly now looked at Deanna for a minute before turning back to the Admiral and coming to the crux of the matter. "I don't think it is a good idea for her to go on this meet and greet tour you have planned for her debriefing."

"That isn't quite as easy as you think." Alynna told her. "This 'meet and greet' wasn't my idea of a debriefing in the first place..."

"But you are her CO and the Fleet Admiral!" Deanna interrupted now.

"Yes I am and as her CO I want her to stay on Earth for it." Came the prompt answer before Alynna went quiet.

"And as Fleet Admiral?" Came the quietly asked question from Beverly.

Alynna just sighed before looking at them with a grim look in her eyes. "As Fleet Admiral I am under a lot of pressure from the President, the Federation Council and the general brass. Like it or not she did defeat the Borg and with that there are certain obligations she is expected to meet now. Owen, J.P and I are trying every trick in the book but while we are not without influence even we can only do so much. If this had happened before the war with the Dominion we probably would have it easier but politically the situation is just too unstable since the war ended. Like it or not she is the best thing that happened to the Federation and Starfleet in a long time. We need her too much."

"Maybe we should have stayed in the Delta Quadrant then." Another voice came from behind them to which all three women turned in surprise as they never heard anyone come in.

A sheepish looking Noah Lessing stood just inside the room. "I'm sorry Admiral, Doctor and Counsellor... I just came in to let you know that we will be in orbit of Mars in about half an hour and couldn't help but overhear the last part of your conversation."

"Don't worry about it Crewman." Alynna just waved him off.

"Why do you think that it would have been better to stay in the Delta Quadrant?" Came now from Beverly. "I thought you all wanted to come home?"

"We did and we are all happy that we made it but..." Noah trailed off before having to admit it. "I... I am not sure how to explain."

"From the beginning?" Suggested Alynna now which did make him smile.

"Well, I can try." The only man in the room said before taking a deep breath. "When we first came on board _Voyager... _well we never thought that anyone would trust us again after what happened on the _Equinox..._"

Beverly interrupted here quickly by standing up and getting ready to leave the room. "I think I should leave you three alone for this."

Noah turned towards the Admiral now. "It's fine with me if she hears this Admiral."

Alynna looked at him for a minute before nodding at the Doctor. "Sit down, Beverly."

The redhead looked at Deanna now in confusion but the Counsellor only shock her head at her so she did as told. Noah gave her a weak smile before starting to tell his story quietly. "While the details are sketchy at best the rumours running around are mostly true. We nearly destroyed _Voyager –_ deliberately at that..." He paused here to look the Doctor in the eyes. "We knew what we were doing and the likely consequences." He admitted now to Beverlys shock.

"Why and how could you?"

"We... we were obsessed by the time we met them. All we could think about was that we would go home – damn the consequences we wanted out of the hell called the Delta Quadrant! Meeting the others was like being back with Starfleet for... for just a moment we were back. But it wasn't true we were still in hell and we had to live it. None of us saw it then but it had been just as hard for them as it was for us, they just dealt with it better then us. We were blinded by our own pain and the thought of going home. Marla at least had doubts by that time but the thought of going home... well we all went along with it in the end."

He stopped again to gauge the reaction of the three women with him. Horrified they were yes, but there was something else coming through as well – understanding. "But there was one thing we had not thought about... or rather someone. While it caused quite a bit of friction on _Voyager _at the time especially within the Command team the Captain went to rather extreme methods to stop us and get Seven, whom we had kidnapped, back. She nearly killed me..." He held up his hand now to stop them commenting. "I don't think the Commander, who stopped her, ever understood why she did that. He thought it was revenge but it wasn't not really, I always knew it wasn't that. It took me a while to really understand but I believe it was guilt."

"I'm afraid I don't get it." Beverly admitted now.

Deanna Troi did get it though. "Guilt over stranding her crew in the Delta Quadrant which manifested in her absolute desire to get them home. Guilt over those she had already lost, those she could not bring home and knowing that it is likely that she will lose more... it's a powerful emotion."

Noah just nodded before continuing. "We put her crew in danger and three members did actually die... that wasn't and still isn't something which she will take laying down. She blames herself for everything that happened to her crew it's why she was so willing to sacrifice herself for us which she proved numerous times... I... no, we believe she didn't live through the horrors with the Borg for herself... out of a genuine desire for life... no she did it to protect us. I once heard someone on the crew call her All – The – Way – Janeway... in fact most of us call her that but we don't say it to be mean. The Captain knew that we desired to go home that's why she was so determined to get here. Not for herself but for us, never truly understanding that _Voyager _had become our home and she part of the family for every single member of the crew. Don't get me wrong we are all very happy to be home, though we could do without all the publicity, but we can see the impact life here has on her. While the weight of the ship and crew has been taken from her shoulders we can already see that a new and heavier yoke is now being carried and we are wondering how much more those shoulders can carry. That's why I think it may have been better if we had stayed in the Delta Quadrant and most of the crew agrees."

"And yet you are afraid of her." Deanna now commented.

But Noah just shock his head. "No, the Captain and I sorted our differences over a year ago during some long conversation in the airponics bay. I don't think I will ever be as close to her as some other members of the crew are but we are okay. It's her powers which have me frightened and it is something which I have to work out for myself."

Beverly had listened quietly so far but now spoke up again. "What you have said certainly explains a lot..." She thought for a minute before turning to Alynna. "This actually makes me more determined to keep her on Earth for the debriefings and if need be..." She trailed off before continuing in a stronger voice. "If need be I declare her medical unfit for duty then she can't be send off planet..."

Alynna just shock her head though. "I thought of that already but it wouldn't do any good. For one even you have already admitted that there is no medical evidence that anything is wrong with her and two... she needs the debriefings which would only be put back for her and the crew. She is essentially in limbo right now, _Voyager _is home yes but I don't think she feels like she is truly home yet."

"She is right Beverly." Deanna now threw her own comment in. "And she won't feel like it is truly over till the debriefings are done."

Alynna was about to speak up again but before she could Janeways voice could be heard coming over the comm system. _"Janeway to Nechayev."_

The heads of all four people turned to make sure that Kathryn wasn't in the room and hadn't overheard their conversation but she wasn't there so Alynna tabbed her badge. "Go ahead."

"_We are in orbit around Mars."_

At that they all quickly stood up and started recycling their drinks and the bits of food left over. "Acknowledged, please plot a direct course and land about fifteen minutes on foot from the house, make sure no one realises we are coming."

"_Already done, ETA is about twenty minutes till landing."_

Instead of answering Janeway Alynna now turned towards the other people with her. "You heard the Captain, lets get ready."

"Aye Admiral."

* * *

A half an hour later the entire group could see the house the Wildmans were reported to be in. The house itself was about five miles from the nearest neighbour and very isolated which immediately made the entire group be even more on guard. They had hidden themselves so no one in the house could see them approach but knew that their cover would be flimsy once they got nearer to the house. The group had split up so that the younger crewmen came from the two sides while the four ranking ones were coming from the front with Marla staying in the shuttle to get backup if needed. The back of the house was towards a mountain so no one could escape that way. They had given the other groups a head start of five minutes to make sure that they would be in position before approaching themselves. Janeway now came up behind the three non – _Voyagers, _as she thought of them at the moment, and got their attention by giving them phasers. "Here, you may need them." Then she concentrated on the lone Admiral with them. "Alynna, please stay back, we can't risk you."

Alynna did indeed take the weapon though only stared in disbelieve at Kathryn when she heard the warning. With a pointed look towards Janeways trusty phaser rifle she stated more then asked. "Don't you think that is a bit rich coming from you of all people? Don't think I didn't read the numerous complains from Commander Tuvok regarding your going on away missions!"

Janeway blushed but to her credit did object or at least tried to. "But..."

"No buts! What is good for the gander is good for the goose!" Alynna snapped back. Identical groans were by now coming from Deanna and Beverly. "What?" she now also snapped at them.

The two women looked at each other and then the two ranking officers before the Doctor answered. "You know the protocols right? Commanding officers are supposed to be protected..."

Kathryn glared at them and then promptly snapped. "I refuse to let my crew do what I can't or won't do myself!"

"_No, more like you aren't willing to let them go into danger for you..." _Deanna now thought before throwing an exasperated look at Beverly and Alynna.

Beverly just shock her head in answer to the unspoken words from the Counsellor but Alynna was grinning. "That is an officer after my own taste! Lets go!" With that she was the first to quickly but carefully walk to the house with Kathryn right behind her.

"What did we get ourselves into?" Deanna now muttered quietly while she stared after them.

"Two of them... god I am so thankful that Jean – Luc at least learned to listen." Beverly practically growled.

"Just because he listens it doesn't mean that he always does as he should." Deanna corrected her before both of them rolled their eyes and quickly started running to catch up to Kathryn and Alynnna.

* * *

Slowly over the next ten minutes the three groups walked towards the house always trying to remain hidden so that no one would be warned of their approach. "Do you hear that?" Came from Kathryn out of the blue.

The three woman with her stopped but couldn't discern what she meant. "No, what?" Came the inevitable question from Alynna.

"That's just it, nothing at all can be heard. It's too quiet!" Came the answer before Janeway tabbed her comm badge. "Janeway to the Delta flyer."

"_Gilmore here, Captain."_

"Have you had any luck getting through that dispersal field?"

"_No Captain, so far there has been nothing conclusive."_

"Very well, keep scanning and contact us the moment you get something. Janeway out." Came the answer but it was clear to the others that Janeway was still troubled.

"What is it?" Came from Deanna.

There was a contemplative look on Kathryns face when she answered with her own question. "Where are the security forces?" She looked at the others quietly now waiting for an answer.

"Damn it all to hell!" Came from Alynna before she could stop herself and then explained for Deanna and Beverly. "Every member of the _Voyager _crew has their own guard for security, mostly so the press and general public will leave them alone for now. The dispersal field is standard procedure so no surprise there but why can't we see the guards? There should be a shift change right about now in fact..." She trailed off here before turning with a glare towards a certain Captain who already got the idea and appeared quite sheepish. "I don't know how the other five got away from theirs but how you did it is quite obvious though don't think that topic won't be addressed, we will talk about it once this is over."

"Aye, sir." That answer from Kathryn was met by a glare so she quickly turned back towards the house. "Shall we...?"

In that moment she got interrupted by what appeared to be a loud scream from the house and they all snapped towards it. "Naomi..." Came barely audible from Kathryn before she just disappeared into thin air.

Alynna snapped into action at that. "Nechayev to all teams! The Captain teleported into the house without backup – go in now!" With that order the remaining three in their group started running as fast as they could.

Halfway to the house Deanna stumbled and would have fallen if it hadn't been for Beverly catching her at the last second. "Deanna, what's wrong?"

The Counsellor had lost all colour from her face and a look of revulsion could now be clearly seen. "Those animals!"

Alynna had also stopped at her site and looked at Deanna in concern. "What do you feel?"

"The child..." Deanna trailed off. She took a deep breath to centre herself before her eyes turned grim. "The Captain dealt with the 'problem', the rest have vanished from the house. Go, I will be fine." When she saw the clear hesitation in the faces of her companions she continued. "There are injured in there – Go!"

Beverly was the first to go though Alynna wasn't far behind, Deanna could only watch as they vanished into the house. She closed her eyes now feeling helpless, "Oh god what have they done?"

* * *

Meanwhile on a Vulcan ship not far from Sector zero – zero – one Commander Tuvok was determined to speak with Chakotay, who had broken off his treatment and left Vulcan four days before. No one knew better then the Commander exactly what Chakotay was 'programmed' to do and he was concerned for the safety of not only his former shipmates on _Voyager _but most importantly his friend and Captain. He had left Vulcan only hours after the Commander but it had taken him this long to catch up to him and he now found him asleep in the guest quarters he had been given. "Commander, wake up now!" With that he unceremoniously threw his XO out of bed.

A startled and outraged Chakotay found himself on the floor looking up at the Vulcan. "Tuvok, what the hell are you doing?"

A raised eyebrow was his answer before Tuvok spoke. "That is what I am here to ask you. Why did you break off your treatment?"

"It's done." Came the prompt answer.

"No it is not. Yes, you are back to normal but I know that you have been warned that there could and will be relapses if the treatment isn't continued. I ask again why did you break off your treatment? Do you not care about the danger you could be putting others in? Do you really not care about the Captain?" Tuvok spoke quietly but firmly.

Chakotay now stood up and turned to look out the window towards the stars. It took him a couple minutes to answer but he did admit quietly in the end. "Kath... The Captain is why I'm here. You know as well as I do that she isn't always as strong as she seems. I have been watching the news and also the messenger board the last couple weeks... Please understand Tuvok, I need to see her for myself."

"What if you relapse in front of her?" Came the pointed question and when Chakotay didn't answer after a minute he continued. "You don't want her to know the truth about what happened so she won't even know the danger she is in. Is that what you really want?"

It was clear to Chakotay that Tuvok didn't approve but he couldn't help himself, he had to see Kathryn. "I won't relapse." He insisted with conviction.

"You don't know that."

The Commander though had heard enough and snapped back. "You are under oath not to reveal the truth about what Teero did! I'm sorry Tuvok, but I will go to her and there is nothing you can do."

With that the Commanderturned to leave the room but Tuvok stopped him at the door with one last comment. "The Commander I know would never put Kathryn Janeway in deliberate danger... are you sure that you are back to normal?"

"No..." He admitted quietly before his eyes hardened again. "But it's a risk I'm willing to take."

* * *

When Beverly and Alynna got into the house the four remaining _Voyagers _had already gotten there and were in the process of securing the premises. The first room they found themselves in was near enough completely destroyed – everything was in disarray. Slowly they walked through the house to find the same picture everywhere but when they came to the stairs they found Noah Lessing who looked at them grimly before turning to Beverly. "The others are upstairs, first door to the right is Sam who needs treatment." With a quick nod towards him the Doctor quickly ran upstairs so Noah turned towards the Admiral and waited for her to speak.

"What happened here?" Came from Alynna at last.

Noah took her by the arm to lead her upstairs before he started speaking. "Greskrendtregk, her husband, is dead and it looks like he may have been for sometime. Naomi..." He trailed off here and looked at Alynna hesitantly as if not knowing what to say. At the questioning eyebrow he received for his trouble of voicing what happened he just pointed towards the last door on the landing.

Worried now Alynna quickly went into the room to find herself in what she could vaguely make out to be a child's bedroom. It was hard though considering all the blood which was everywhere, from the floor to the walls and even the ceiling had some. "What the...?"

"We found this room like it is now when we first got here. Captain Janeway is through that door with Naomi she will be able to explain." With those words he had pointed towards the back of the room where she could just make out a door. Hesitantly Alynna now opened the door to find a blood covered Captain sitting on the floor with a hysterically crying Naomi in her arms.

Kathryn had looked up when she heard the door open and now looked at Alynna with a haunted look in her eyes before turning back to Naomi and quietly whispering to her that they had to get up. The child didn't move though so she nodded towards the back of the room where Brian had been watching over them, who promptly came over and helped her stand up. Realising what was happening Naomi clung even tighter to her and refused to let go."Naomi, we have to get out of here. Please stand up." Could be heard from Kathryn now.

Naomi only shock her head though still refusing to let go or to make it easier on Kathryn, who was in a half crouch, to move. Grim looks were exchanged between Brian and Kathryn before they worked together to get Naomi up, who promptly started screaming though in words Alynna couldn't understand even with her universal translator.

Kathryn worked quickly though and as soon as she was back on her feet she promptly picked the child up and situated her back in her arms. "Shhh! It's alright Naomi, we are here and we won't leave you. Calm down, everything will be okay you will see."

At that moment Alynna could hear someone else coming into the room from behind so she turned to find a still pale Deanna looking at the scene in front of her with a look of intense anger. Quietly she stepped towards her and guided the Counsellor out of the room. "You know something. Out with it!" She demanded after closing the door.

Deanna just looked at her before filling her in on what she had found out. "Beverly has stabilised Ensign Wildman and is getting ready to transport her back to the shuttle now. I have contacted Crewman Gilmore and filled her in on the situation here so some backup should be coming soon."

"That isn't what I meant and you know it!" Came from a furious Admiral before she took a deep breath and then practically demanded with a growl. "What did you feel while we were still outside?"

"One of the people who were in here... they tried to rape Ensign Wildman in front of the child. When she tried to help her mother he went after her instead." Deanna now admitted quietly.

Alynna had taken a startled deep breath when she heard the admission. "I suppose that is when she screamed?" She now asked with a worried look towards the door.

"Yes... and judging by this room... the Captain literally ripped him apart for it."

"Good – he deserved nothing less." Came the answer from Alynna before both women looked at each other in understanding.

* * *

An hour later the promised backup had arrived and Alynna was busy coordinating them when Beverly and Deanna emerged from the flyer. Quickly she excused herself from the officers with her and stepped towards them. Without being asked Beverly started explaining. "Crewman Wildman is in serious condition right now but should stay stable till we reach Starfleet Medical on Earth. From the scans I took she has not been sexually assaulted though someone certainly tried judging by the state of undress I found her in. Her husband has been dead for about two days now, he died due to his injuries from a series of beatings not being properly treated."

"And the child?"

Deanna took over for this one. "Captain Janeway interfered before anything could happen to Naomi. They largely seemed to have left her alone so she had no serious injuries apart from some bruising which was easily taken care of. No, the problem with her lies in her psyche now. She had to watch everything that happened, her fathers death and the continued assaults on her mother which will lie heavily on her psyche. Right now she won't let anyone but Captain Janeway touch her, though from what I saw the _Voyagers _are able to go nearer then anyone else. She barely let me into the same room before she started screaming but when any of the crew go near she lets them in, just won't allow them to take her away from the Captain."

"How is Kathryn taking this?" Came the quietly asked question from Alynna.

"What do you think?" Came the question from behind them now. Surprised the three women spun around to find an agitated Captain walking towards them. "I'm freaking furious of course!" After she practically spat the last part out she turned her attention towards Alynna alone. "How the hell did this happen, Admiral?" She asked her with an intense look on her face which had even the so called battle axe Admiral just a bit scared.

"We are still investigating Kathryn..."

"Don't you dare call me by my first name like we are old friends Admiral!" Kathryn now spat at her.

"_Okay, I think that went too far." _Beverly now thought and threw a quick look to Deanna who just nodded at her in understanding. Quietly the two of them stepped back and quickly ran to the Flyer where Deanna promptly ran into Marla who seemed just as angry as her CO.

"What the hell?" Came from the Crewman just as she landed hard on her backside with Deanna on top of her. "Get off me!"

While the two of them stood back back up the remaining crew members also came into the room. Deanna quickly realised that all of them were really angry with something, actually furious was more like it. "What is going on? Why are all of you so angry all of a sudden? The Wildmans will be fine!"

"That is not the point!" Came now from behind them where Kathryn stepped back into the shuttle before she turned back towards Alynna, who had also come in behind her, and started shouting at the already pale looking Admiral. "All of this could have been avoided if Starfleet Command would have only done their jobs! If you had done your job! We told you months ago but no! We were only over thirty thousand light years away when we did so who cares?" With those words and a look of pure disgust at Alynna Janeway spun around and stalked to the front of the shuttle with the five crewmen following in her steps.

For a minute after the _Voyagers _had left there was silence in the room before Deanna voiced what she and Beverly thought from the start. "How come you let her get away with that Admiral?"

"Because they were right and I deserved that." Alynna admitted quietly before practically throwing herself into one of the seats in the room.

Even Beverly could now practically feel the guilt radiating of Alynna and threw a confused look at Deanna who only shrugged in response. Quietly she continued the questioning. "Why do you think that? We don't even know who did this."

Alynna ignored them though and quietly started talking again. "Twice now we badly let that crew down, both times it ended with them in danger though at least the first time nobody died. This time someone did and his blood is on my hands."

"What do you mean?" Came the question from Deanna now.

"It was a security lapse with serious consequences. We should have arrested him but we never found him. We beefed up security so that it couldn't happen again and then just forgot about him..." Alynna trailed off here and buried her head in her hands.

"Admiral?" Came now from both women at the same time.

Alynna looked quietly up at Deanna, who had kneeled down in front of her, before answering the question in whispered words.

Beverly didn't understand what she said but Deanna did and promptly paled.

"What is it?" The worried Doctor now asked her friend.

"Not what... who?" Came the answer before Deanna said one word, no a name which had even Beverly stiffen in shock. Even without knowing the whole story she now knew why Kathryn and her crew were so angry.

"Teero."


	12. Chapter 12

**Chapter 12**

It had now been ten days since Kathryn and the others returned from Mars and Sam had woken up two days ago. Unfortunately she didn't remember what happened at all so couldn't answer any questions and though everyone was relieved that she would be okay, she did need some help for a while and so she and Naomi moved into the Janeway family home. While what exactly had happened was classified, having nearly every member of the crew going in and out of Starfleet Medical on a daily basis was soon picked up on by the press. Kathryn though was not above using her fame to protect the Wildmans and hide the fact that no one had seen Neelix since a week before the rescue mission. That didn't mean that they weren't worrying about him and while she couldn't work on the case herself she did return to work two days after their return so she could keep busy. It was now Friday afternoon and she had been in meetings all morning but for the last several hours needed to do some paperwork so had been using one of the conference rooms belonging to Admiral Paris for the last two hours.

"Kathy?" Came the voice of Owen Paris from behind her.

Without looking up she answered, "What is it Owen?"

Far from being insulted at her brisk manner he just continued, "I have been looking for you for the last two hours only to find you hiding in here. Why didn't you let my secretary know that you are here?"

At that she did look up before answering with a sigh, "I'm sorry Owen, it's just... I can't seem to find any peace any where so I can work. Every few steps I take someone else stops me to talk to me so in the end I just hid here when I got the chance."

He just waved off the apology though. "Don't worry about that, you can use this any time. Just try to let me know where you are so I don't have to go hunting for you."

"What is it you wanted from me? Or did you just go looking for the heck of it?"

He couldn't help but chuckle at that before falling quiet for a minute and answering her with a sigh. "I actually wanted to talk to you about Alynna."

That wasn't a topic Kathryn wanted to discuss but she knew Owen well enough to know he wouldn't be deterred. She quietly admitted to herself that she had treated Alynna unfairly but couldn't help herself a part of her did blame the Admiral for what had happened. She wasn't about to admit that though! "What about the Admiral?"

"How about your treatment of her?" Came the dry return question which had Kathryn just looking at him, she wasn't going to budge on this. "She means well you know? After we first found about the mutiny on _Voyager _she was furious and diverted a lot of man power in order to find Teero. Man power which honestly could have been better used on other things like protecting our borders to Romulus. Ask the _Enterprise _crew if you want, they looked for over six months! We never found any hint on where he is hiding..."

"He can't have done it alone, someone must have helped him." Came the clipped reply.

"True." Owen admitted now before continuing with yet another sigh, "Kathryn, she is your CO you can't treat her like this."

"If she had a problem with it don't you think she would say something?" Came the angry reply.

"That is enough, Captain!" He now thundered at her which had Janeway jump, she hadn't heard that particular tone from him since before her father and Justin died. Owen wasn't the least bit sorry at seeing her reaction though and just continued with what he wanted to bring across, "What happened to the Wildmans and Mister Neelix isn't Alynnas fault and you know it! Without her help we would never have had Pathfinder to get in contact with you after we found out that you and the crew were still alive! Never mind the fact that it was her who mobilised all these ships to rescue you. Stop blaming her!"

Kathryn couldn't help but think back to another conversation she had with B'Elanna many months ago as she asked the same question her chief of Engineering once did. "Is that an order, sir?"

"Yes."

"_B'Elanna had a point. You really can't switch your emotions off just because you were ordered to do so." _She now thought ruefully but she knew she had pushed Owen far enough for now. "Alright, I apologise to her. Is there anything else you wanted?"

Owen looked her in the eyes for a minute to see whether she really meant, she did, before answering her question. "Yes, there is. I know J.P spoke to you about the press and while I know you have started to answer their questions I wanted to ask if you were willing to go a step further with that?"

"What do you mean?"

Here Owen did hesitate for a minute before answering. "Well, how about an interview which focuses entirely on what you have seen? Part of the official logs have been given free yes, but there is a difference between reading them and hearing first hand about it. Thanks to the plea your crew send there is a lot known about the kind of person you are, hence why you are now the most famous person in the Alpha Quadrant."

"I thought that was because I beat the Borg." Came the dry reply to that.

The old Admiral just shock his head at that. "No, while that did help..." He trailed off here at hearing Kathryn snort but continued with a smile. "Figure of speech, you know exactly what I mean. During that live interview with your crew, while they were still in the Delta Quadrant and you with the Borg, well there wasn't a dry eye in either room. People feel like they know you from that and they like what they were shown by your crew. That more then beating the Borg is what is giving you this much popularity. And that popularity maybe your best bet on finding Mister Neelix..."

Kathryn was now looking at him in confusion which he mused to himself is understandable, he knew as well as her what classified meant. They literally couldn't tell anyone who wasn't cleared for the information what had happened. "You have moved into your old apartment here in San Francisco correct?" He asked her quietly to which she just nodded, under the week she lived there while she usually returned home to Indiana over the weekends. "Okay, I was looking forward to spending some quality time with you anyway. I will be there tonight for twenty – two hundred hours, then we will talk." With that he promptly walked out of the room while a still confused Captain sat at the table wondering why he wouldn't explain now. _"Why would he not be able to talk here?" _She wondered before shrugging and returning to her work. She knew Alynna was in a meeting for another hour so with a promise to herself that she would catch the Admiral later she fully concentrated on getting through the PADDs she still had to get through.

* * *

That night Owen did indeed turn up at Kathryns apartment but he wasn't alone, Matt and J.P had come with him also. Kathryn had been watching them quietly all through dinner but none of them would say a word on why they were there. As she returned from putting away the rest of the food she could see Matt setting up a dispersal field so knew that now the true reason for their visit was at hand. Not waiting for them to start she asked straight out, "Okay, will you tell me what is going on here? I have been waiting all night and now you setup a dispersal field?"

The three Admirals looked at each other quietly for a minute before Owen started off, "What do you know about the current political situation Kathryn?"

Kathryn looked at them for a minute "Basics really. I of course read the reports you were sending to _Voyager _while we were still out there and have been trying to fill in the blanks since we returned but I admit I'm not fully up to speed yet. Why?"

Matt now got out a PADD out of his pocket which he promptly handed her. "Study this well over the next few weeks, all the details are in there though we can fill you in now on some of them."

Kathryn now looked at him in confusion but accepted the PADD, Owen who saw the questions in her eyes spoke up next. "While we did send you information on how things were here there were some things which we deemed a security risk to send you. So we never said anything before... we were also hoping that by the time you returned it would be sorted and you would not need to be involved. But to be frank your defeating the Borg, the reports your crew send and your miraculous journey through the Delta Quadrant... well you maybe our only hope."

"What is it you want from me?" Kathryn now asked suspicious.

"While Alynna could not say anything on an official level we believe we know how to find Teero." Matt now admitted quietly.

That had Kathryn up on her feet in an instant. "What?" She practically yelled at the men with her.

Owen quickly spoke up before she could go on a full rant. "Sit down Kathryn!" The quiet way in which he spoke and the look in his eyes convinced the Captain to do as she was told. Owen waited a minute to make sure she calmed down before continuing. "The knowledge we have is extremely dangerous and people have died because of this so do not make such an outburst again! Sit quietly and let us talk, we will answer questions afterwards."

All three Admirals now looked at Kathryn for a couple minutes before J.P took up the conversation again. "As you know I spend the last few years with the Borg so you are probably wondering what I have to do with this?" A nod answered him so he quietly continued. "This is actually an investigation which has been on going for over twenty years. In fact it was your father who started it, I took it over after he died and after I was taken by the Borg Alynna continued it. What do you know about Section thirty – one?"

"It's not supposed to exist." Kathryn quietly answered.

"But it does and we believe that it is controlling the government and has been for a long time. It didn't use to be that much of a problem but now with the war just behind us things have changed." Owen threw in.

"What does this have to do with me?"

Matt took over again though he completely ignored her question. "Over the years Section thirty – one seemed to be pulling the strings from behind the scenes never actually directly interfering with the government. But President Dinalo, who was elected during the war with the Dominion, started changing the direction the Federation went after the war ended. We do not believe that it is really what he wants to do..."

"Some kind of blackmail?"

"We don't know." Owen quietly admitted now.

"How do you know that the section is behind it?"

"We of course have no proof and that is where you come in." Matt answered her now.

Kathryn stared at them for a minute before quietly asking, "Do you know how dangerous that is?"

None of the men answered but the expressions on their faces said it all. They did know and they knew exactly what they were asking. Quietly but firmly Owen started explaining what they wanted from her. "We need you to investigate the government and bring your finding to Alynna or us. If you find any wrong doings on the site of the President or his office great but what we really need is information on the section. How far are they involved? What is it they want? We need all the proof we can get."

"If the President is not involved with them but doing something on his own I maybe putting myself in for danger from two different but very dangerous sites."

"We know and we apologise for that but it is necessary." Matt told her now.

"How can we assure my safety?" She asked them quietly.

Owen answered that one. "We know for a fact that your crew is loyal to you. We screened them years ago and while you had some people which we weren't sure about those are all dead now, they did not survive the journey. Pick your security team from them, make sure to pick at least a couple Marquis for the underdog factor, the people love that you are rooting for them. We will also be sending you a couple young Ensigns who are fresh out of the Academy, one of them is Sarah Wilbert..."

"Fresh out of the Academy?" Kathryn interrupted him now.

"Yes, but hear me out before you reject them. Every Starfleet Admiral always has to have a couple of people fresh out of the Academy, it's part of belonging to the brass. And at least with these three we know they are loyal to us not the Section or anyone else, which is why we choose them."

"Working with me will put them into a lot of danger! How can we ask that of them?" Kathryn asked him and at the look on her face Owen knew she really didn't like this part. But from the look on his face Kathryn knew this wasn't something she could argue, she knew she had no choice. Sighing she just asked, "Will they know the true nature of the mission?"

"No, just put them to work on research or something like it. They can do the grunt work of your research into the politics of the last couple years. Put someone you trust in charge of them and then just leave them to it. This isn't something we can change you must have a couple people from the academy on your staff Kathy." Owen now told her firmly while handing her a PADD with the information on the three people which had been chosen.

Quickly she looked through the information contained in the PADD before realising one little snag. "They are not researchers at all. Two people who by all rights should be working in main engineering on a Starship and another who belongs in science? How did you get away with this?" She asked them now with a raised eyebrow.

"Easy, we used you as an excuse." Matt told her with a smirk on his face. At the quietly but pointedly raised eyebrow he started explaining. "A lot of your people on _Voyager _have been earmarked for the Command track. We just told people that we were waiting to see if you could do the same to these young officers."

Kathryn snorted at that before speaking again. "What rank would I have?"

The three men in the room looked at each other before J.P took something out of his pockets and slowly slid the item he had retrieved over the table. Kathryn stared in disbelief at the rank bar of a Vice – Admiral which was now blinking in the lights. "Alynna gave me this earlier tonight, if you accept it is yours. We can let her know over the weekend and she will announce it once you can get the rest of your staff in place."

"I didn't think this would start till after my debriefing..." She trailed off still staring at them in total shock.

"Normally you wouldn't be promoted just yet true but you will need the influence this will bring faster then that, especially as the _Enterprise _will not be available to escort you around the quadrant." J.P admitted now.

"Why not? I thought that was what was planned all along."

"Some problems have crept up with Romulus and we need the Fleet Flagship in the area of the neutral zone as a show of force. They will probably have their orders already and leave in the morning. You will instead travel on the _U.S.S. Prometheus._" Matt now informed her.

"Isn't that the ship our Doctor was on when we first transferred him through that Alien array to the Alpha Quadrant?"

"Yes, at the time it was still a prototype but it has been commissioned a couple weeks ago so we decided to make it your new Flagship. Information about the ship and the crew is on this PADD." Matt told her while handing her the PADD in his hands.

"_How many more PADDs does he have?" _Kathryn thought dryly while putting it to the site for later perusal. "What else do you want to hit me with tonight?"

J.P spoke up again at last."This is it for now from our site. Study the PADDs we gave you very well and then get your staff into place. Alynna wants to announce your promotion next Friday so that you have three weeks before you start travelling to get used to things. Do you have any other questions?"

"Yes, a couple actually. How exactly is Teero involved in this?"

"We believe he works for Section thirty – one. They have been using mind control like he used on your crew for years." Owen answered her with a dark look on his face.

"That would certainly explain how he got access to the message from Tuvok's son." She now murmured quietly which had everyone else nodding. She was quiet for a minute lost in thought before getting back to her questions. "But why would they be interested in a Marquis crew? Or for that matter Neelix? I thought the section was a pure Starfleet group even if their kind of work is not exactly within the rules."

"That is the one part we don't understand about this." Owen admitted before sighing and quietly murmuring, "Hopefully he can answer our questions once we catch up with him."

Kathryn ignored that last part, as she knew there was nothing they could do about it for now, and now concentrated on the questions about her assignments, "How big should my staff be?"

Matt took over now. "Normally an Admiral of your rank has four members of staff but with your assignment we know you will need more so six for now, of which you already have the three from the academy. Alynna said if you need more to let her know and she would make sure you get them. Also take four people as a security team, special arrangements are already in place for the debriefings of yourself and whoever you want to take. The only person off limits for that is Commander Tuvok due to Ambassador Spock wanting to work with him for now. You will of course have the security team of the _Prometheus _as well when you are travelling. That of course assumes that you accept the assignment..." He trailed off here and now looked at her expectantly.

Kathryn wasn't quite ready to give an answer just yet and instead asked, "What would my official assignment be?"

"Diplomatic Envoy of the Federation Council. It involves a lot of politics but you will be able to move every where in the Federation and even on the fringe planets without arousing suspicion. We have of course screened the crew you will be travelling with but can't be one hundred percent sure that they are all loyal so be careful what you tell them. The senior staff can be trusted but it's best you don't tell them too much just in case. For the first couple weeks of your travelling you will be going to the conferences which were thought of for your debriefing so use that time well, we don't know how long we can keep you on them. For the next couple weeks everything will stay as in the last couple days, debriefings in the mornings with a lot of paperwork in the afternoons."

Kathryn now sat back and closed her eyes for a minute so she could think while the admirals just watched her quietly. Coming to a decision pretty quickly she spoke quietly to them, "Alright, I'm going back to Indiana in the morning till Sunday night, so if you need to contact me you know where to find me. I'll let you know about my staff as soon as I can."

"So you accept?" Owen asked now.

"Yes." She told them now with conviction.

"Welcome to the brass Kathryn."

* * *

That next week the debriefings for the crew started as well and Chakotay who had been searching for Kathryn for the last week now hoped to find her at last. Nobody had wanted to tell him where she was or even how to contact her even though he had tried practically every where he could think of. From the farm in Indiana, he had not been able to get through Security, to asking nearly every single member of the crew and visiting all the places they had spoken about over the years but he had found no sign of her. Unfortunately he had been sequestered in meetings for most of the day and it was now late afternoon, while he knew that Kathryn was somewhere within the compound belonging to Starfleet he had no idea where so was just walking aimlessly when Doctor Pulaski, the head of Starfleet Medical, found him. "Commander, what are you doing here so late in the day? I thought your debriefings ended a couple hours ago, for today anyway."

He looked at her for a minute in surprise before answering, "Well I was looking for Captain Janeway, though I suppose by now she would have already left for the day."

She quickly took him by the arm and started walking while giving her reply, "Kathryn? She is still here, working on paperwork most likely, though I have a meeting with her in a couple minutes. Just come with me I show you where she is hiding."

"Hiding?" He asked her now in amusement.

"The press is pretty much relentless and some of the junior officers aren't any better so she started hiding in Admiral Paris's office last week. As she told me just this morning at least she is left alone there and can do her work. Should be better once her office is ready which she will move into next week together with her staff." Pulaski answered him.

"Staff? Office?" Chakotay now asked her in confusion.

The Doctor just stared at him in amusement for a few seconds before answering the question, "As you were her first officer and she speaks highly of you I doubt she will mind if I tell you. She was offered a promotion to Vice – Admiral and accepted over the weekend, it won't be official till Admiral Nechayev announces it of course so keep it quiet for now. Part of her staff, with that I mean the junior officers, arrived this morning she still has to choose the rest."

"You seem to know her well." Chakotay commented now.

"We are old friends though I am meeting her in an official capacity tonight. Your holographic doctor is on Jupiter station for the duration of your debriefings and Doctor Crusher is away on duty with the _Enterprise _so I am taking over her medical needs for now." She now told him with a small smile which didn't quite reach her eyes.

Chakotay picked up on that and promptly became worried. "She is alright isn't she?"

"Drinking too much coffee, working too much, not enough sleep and stressed but apart from that she is fine. Don't worry this is just routine." That wasn't quite the truth but Kate wasn't willing to break Patient confidentiality and anyway even she didn't know what exactly was wrong.

Chakotay meanwhile laughed quietly at that description before commenting, "Sounds just like her, our Doctor has been after her about that for years."

"Me too but she never listens. Anyway here we are, this is the office of Admiral Paris."

Chakotay now looked up in surprise he hadn't even realised that they went into a building never mind the fact that they were now surrounded by offices. He watched as the Doctor knocked at a door before opening it and stepping through. Quietly he followed her to find himself in the outer offices of the Admiral. _"Wow, this is quite opulent." _He now thought in surprise as he looked around curiously. He was in a reception area which had five doors, two on either site of the room and one straight ahead which was the biggest. Doctor Pulaski now gave him a sign to wait then stepped towards a door on the right and disappeared into the room behind it. Even the seating area just screamed rich and he quickly found himself a seat there before quietly starting to read one of the PADDs he had taken with him from the debriefing.

Twenty minutes later the door opened again without him realising though he quickly looked up when he heard the laughter of two women, one of which was very familiar. The Doctor and Kathryn were still in a deep discussion and completely ignoring him so he used the moment to quietly look his former Captain over. _"The rumours are true she is far too thin and apparently not sleeping enough." _He now thought in worry before taking the bag he had with him up again and standing up. "Ladies?" He now said to gain their attention.

Surprised the two women turned around to him with Kate Pulaski finding her voice first. "Oh, Commander I'm sorry I completely forgot about you."

"That is what happens when you have fun." He answered though without looking at her at all. His eyes had not been taken off Kathryn who had gone still when she realised that he was there. "Captain." He greeted her now with a small smile.

Kathryn found her voice again and promptly more demanded then asked, "Commander? What are you doing here at this hour?"

Kate meanwhile had realised the tension in the room so quickly thought of an excuse to escape. "Kathryn, I'm sorry but I still have a lot of work tonight. I speak to you tomorrow okay?" Both Kathryn and Chakotay didn't say a word in answer so she left the room after giving her friend a quick hug.

Kathryn now realised that she was being rude and quickly waved Chakotay into the office behind her before turning and quickly walking towards a replicator on the back wall. "Tea, Commander?" At his answering nod she ordered some of his favourite and her coffee before quickly using the desk in the room to bring some space between them. Pointing towards a seat on his side of the table she sat down and only then started their conversation. "What can I do for you Commander?"

He very quickly realised that she was trying to hide behind her rank so instead of answering directly he turned to his bag and got a stasis container out. "Here." He now told her quietly while shoving the container over the table and turning back to his bag to look for something else in it.

Janeway had watched this quietly but now asked curiously, "What is that?"

"Well knowing you as well as I do I know that you probably haven't eaten yet, so I brought you a little something." With those words he opened the container and handed her a spoon before continuing at her dubious look at it, "It's Tiramisu, you will like it I promise."

Kathryn looked between the container and Chakotay a couple times before sighing. "What is this supposed to be Commander? We have barely spoken in over six months and now you turn up here out of the blue? What do you want?" She asked him quietly but with anger in her voice while laying the container and spoon back on the table.

He sighed before answering, "For now I just want you to eat. Please Ka..." He stopped here when he saw the signs of danger in her eyes before continuing quietly. "Please Captain, just try it."

Janeway was annoyed at what she saw as his intrusions but had to admit she was hungry and the Italian dessert did look delicious. "Oh alright." She sighed and grabbed the container and spoon before starting to eat it. "God, that's good." She moaned the next second before looking back at Chakotay. "Is that coffee I detect?"

"Coffee and liquor – soaked layers of sponge cake alternating with mascarpone cheese and chocolate." He answered her with a grin.

At that she sat up in alarm. "Alcohol? Chakotay I still have to work!"

He had been waiting for her to say his name and now sighed in relief at his minor victory. "Don't worry there isn't much in it and anyway the day is as good as over, I know for a fact that most everyone has already left."

"Then what are you doing here? I asked you twice already and so far haven't got an answer."

"I missed my best friend and she seems to still be here." He told her quietly. Janeway was now staring at him disbelief so before she could get over her surprise he quickly barrelled on. "I know I behaved like a complete idiot for nearly a year now but I miss you Kathryn and I'm really sorry for all that I put you through."

Janeway stood up now and walked towards the windows before, with her back turned towards the Commander, she quietly started to speak, "Don't you think it is a bit late?"

Chakotay knew from her body language that he better not approach her now, even though all he wanted to do was take her into his arms, so just closed his eyes in pain. "Please, just give me a second chance. I swear all I want right now is a chance to earn your trust back." He begged her now.

Kathryn turned quietly back to him and just looked at him without saying a word for several minutes. Then just as Chakotay was about to give up and leave she spoke. "Are you hungry?" She asked quietly enough that he nearly missed it.

Startled Chakotay just looked at her in confusion. "What?"

"I asked if you are hungry? There is a great Italian restaurant over in Sicily which should still be open. I know it's last minute but to be honest your dessert just won't be enough, I'm starving." Kathryn admitted now in a more normal tone while avoiding his eyes.

Chakotay couldn't believe his luck but wasn't about to look a gift horse in the mouth. "Yes!" He exclaimed a bit too loudly.

Janeway just looked at him in mild amusement and while turning towards the console on her desk spoke again. "Great! Just let me inform security to get ready then we can go."

"Security?"

Startled she looked back up at him. "Yes, I have my own detail now. In fact most of the crew who stayed in sector zero – zero – one has one at least around their homes, it's a bit annoying at first but most of the time I barely realise they are around now. Useful in keeping the press away at least. In fact I need to schedule some meetings for this week about that, currently I have a generic team from Starfleet Security which changes nearly daily but I am supposed to choose my own people."

"Comes with being an Admiral." Chakotay now stated.

"Who told you about that?" She asked in surprise.

"Doctor Pulaski did earlier, she didn't think you would mind. Congratulations on that you deserve it." He answered quietly.

She just looked at him for a minute before answering with a small smile. "No I don't mind and thanks. It does have it's good points, I don't have to go to the public station but can use the Admiral specific transport stations now so we can avoid the press." With that she closed her computer terminal before walking around the table and offering him her arm. "Shall we?"

He just enclosed her arm in his own before the two of them left the office with Janeway quickly showing him where to go. Within five minutes they were on a beautiful little island in the Mediterranean and walked into a small cosy restaurant. They were both quiet as a waiter quickly ushered them towards a table and gave them the menus before getting them drinks and then leaving them alone again.

After deciding what he wanted and they both had ordered Chakotay started their conversation back up again. "How come that you got promoted already anyway? Normally they wait for after the debriefings."

Kathryn looked at him for a couple seconds in consternation before deciding on how to answer that. She didn't trust him enough to tell the full story now so gave him a half truth. "My debriefings are a bit different from everyone else. Within a couple weeks I will be off planet, travelling around the Alpha Quadrant for it. They weren't sure how long they can keep me protected from the politics so promoted me for my own protection. Rank does have it's privileges after all."

"Off planet? Already? But we only just got here, I didn't think you would want to leave." Chakotay was surprised and it clearly showed while he spoke.

"I don't want to." She admitted with a small smile before continuing with a sigh. "But there are things which make it necessary and I will follow my orders."

"I was hoping we could spend some time together in our off duty hours." He now said with a sigh of his own.

"That probably wouldn't be a good idea..." Kathryn said this without thinking and realised within seconds how that must have sounded. "I'm sorry Chakotay, I didn't mean it like that."

He knew her well enough to know better so just looked at her pointedly with a knowing look in his eyes so she had to admit it. "Oh alright, I did. I'm sorry but we haven't even spoken outside of our duties for so long I just don't know what to think about you showing up now."

"Which is my fault."

In that moment the waiter showed up with their food so both of them stopped talking and by mutual understanding quietly started eating. Neither of them really knew how to restart their conversation so for the next fifteen minutes their table was completely quiet. Looking blindly for a topic conversation Chakotay now remembered that Kathryn had mentioned looking for her own security team so to break the silence he asked, "Have you decided on whom you want on your security team?"

Startled out of her thoughts Janeway looked at him in surprise before answering. "Actually no, I haven't decided yet. I was thinking of picking some of the Ex – Marquis like Mike Ayala though."

"Why him?"

"Well, he was second in command of secuirty on _Voyager _after all, I trust him to do a good job and then there is also Sam." She answered him.

"Samantha Wildman?"

She just nodded before quickly explaining as she realised he didn't know any of what had happened. "Sam is currently living with my family in Indiana, she has asked to join my staff once she is back to full health in a weeks time."

"Full health?"

Janeway just shock her head though. "It's classified information so I can't tell you much. Suffice to say that she got hurt while on leave and is living with my family till she feels better. Naomi is there too and as Mike is someone she is comfortable with I believe that he would be a good fit."

Chakotay now looked at her in disbelief. "Classified? What the hell could have happened in the few weeks since we came home that is classified?"

She just looked at him now. "You know I can't tell you that." She was tempted though as she knew how much what Teero had done affected him and that he also cared about Neelix.

He wanted to argue but by the look on her face, which was clearly saying to back off now, he just sighed resigned. "What are you planning tomorrow then?"

"I have a meeting with Gaile Winters in the evening after I finish my duties at Headquarters."

This time there was confusion on his face as he asked, "Who?"

"Gaile Winters is a reporter and friend of Deanna Troi, who recommended her to me. Command has been after me for a while to do a interview about the Delta Quadrant and what we have seen while out there. It will be a life feed at eight o'clock."

"Are you sure you are ready for that?" He asked her with a worried look in his eyes.

She was about to snap at him when she saw that he asked out of genuine concern, so with a sigh she explained. "Tom, B'Elanna, Mike and Sam will be with me so don't worry about me."

"What if she asks about the Borg?" He now asked quietly.

"I'm already prepared for that line of questioning to come up. I can't say I am looking forward to it but I will be fine." She admitted just as quietly.

"Can I come watch?"

"No, it will already be chaotic enough with all the cameras around." She answered firmly.

He was about to argue when he looked at her and realised that he had pushed her far enough for now. "Mind if I call you in a couple days? Just to talk?" He could clearly see that there was still a great amount of distrust in her eyes but was determined to try again after giving her some space even if she did refuse. _"Small steps, but I will get there." _

She hesitated for a minute before taking a small card out of her pocket which she handed to him. "Here, this has all the information you need to reach me. I will be very busy over the next couple days so maybe over the weekend?"

"Fine with me." He answered with his dimples showing as he grinned at her.


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13**

"Good evening ladies and gentlemen. My name is Gaile Winters and I welcome you all to a very special interview. Tonight I am in the home of Kathryn Janeway, Captain of the _U.S.S. Voyager _to interview five members of the intrepid crew! Two from the original pure Starfleet crew, two members of what was once the Marquis and of course their Captain! With me tonight are Samantha Wildman, Tomas Eugene Paris, Mike Ayala, B'Elanna Torres – Paris and Kathryn Janeway herself. " When she turned away from the camera and towards the five sitting with her she saw looks of amusement on all their faces before Kathryn spoke up.

"Tom, when exactly did you do a mutiny?" Muffled laughter could be heard coming from them all as Tom just shrugged his shoulders before turning to Gaile.

"That is something I would like to know as well?" He was grinning as he raised a questioning eyebrow at her.

"Mutiny?" Came from the surprised reporter which had the five people with her promptly breaking out into loud laughter.

Kathryn was the first to catch her breath and explain. "Well if we take you by your word Sam and I are the two original Starfleet members here, Mike and B'Elanna were originally part of the Marquis ship and Tom was really neither so you just said he is the Captain."

Gaile Winters had been doing these kind of interviews for over ten years but this was the first time one of her guests had actually managed to make her speechless and that less then two minutes into the interview! _"Oh... I can already see this group won't be easy." _Taking a deep breath to order her thoughts she attempted to get control of the interview back. "Well, I apologise if I gave the wrong impression. Anyway, you have now been home for just about six weeks and this is the first interview any member of your crew has given. So first of all how are you all?"

Kathryn now looked at her crew members and after receiving a nod from them answered the question. "I think I can speak for the entire crew if I say... we are all delighted to be home at last."

"Over one hundred and forty thousand light years in seven years. That must be a new record!" Tom joked which had them all chuckling.

Gaile was now ready to start the interview properly so took the initiative, "Well, I have a few question for Mike and Sam if I may?" There were groans coming now from the two people in question so she waited till they looked at her before continuing. "How would you describe each member of the _Voyager _senior staff in one sentence?"

"Oh god, now we are done for!" B'Elanna groaned which had everyone laughing.

Still chuckling Sam turned back to Gaile. "With whom do you want us to start?"

"Ensign Harry Kim?"

"A green Ensign who became a man!" Sam shot back straight away.

"Oh, yes he was green wasn't he?" Came from a chuckling Mike.

Tom also commented with, "Perfect description for him." before he turned to Kathryn. "Do you remember how he was the first time you met him? What was it you said then? At ease, Ensign..."

"Before you sprain something!" Kathryn finished for him with the amusement clear in her voice which had everyone else practically howling in laughter.

It took a minute before everyone calmed down but once they did Gaile spoke up again. "What about Seven of Nine?"

Mike answered this time. "A former Borg drone who searched for and recovered her individuality."

Sam chimed in straight after him. "Sevens fights with a certain Captain were the stuff of legends!"

"Hey!" Came from Kathryn in an offended tone.

"Oh come off it Kathryn! You have to admit especially in that first year the fights you had with her were rather explosive!" Tom now told at her.

Janeway wasn't going to take that laying down and promptly started defending Seven and herself. "We weren't that bad!"

"Yes, you were!" Four voices now chimed as one.

B'Elanna took up the conversation next. "Every time you two were at it the rest of us could only hide behind one or the other bulkhead!"

"It's not as if you never fought with her yourself Lanna!" Kathryn shot back at her, which a blushing B'Elanna had to admit was true.

Laughter rang out again in the room so Gaile asked for the next person on her list. "The holographic doctor?"

"Oh, he is a harder one." Came now from Sam who thought for a minute before turning to the others. "The Doctor has changed so much, such a pain at the start but now I couldn't imagine the journey without him."

"How about..." Came now from Mike who continued once he saw that he had every ones attention. "A hologram who became a person?"

"Fits, but doesn't quite describe him either though it will do." B'Elanna now chimed in.

"So, you believe he is sentient?" Came the important question from Gaile now.

There was firm nodding all around before Janeway spoke up again. "When he was first activated no one ever imagined how much he would change. Kes was the first to encourage him to evolve and the one who knocked our heads together when we weren't willing to give him that chance." At Gailes incredulous look in her direction she admitted with a smile. "Yes, even mine."

Gaile knew that the question of his sentience would be fought over at a Starfleet hearing sometime in the future so didn't want to get into it too much which meant she moved on to the next person. "Lieutenant Commander Tuvok?"

"A Vulcan whose logic never failed." Came now from Mike which had Kathryn snorting. Surprised he turned to her and asked, "Was that wrong?"

"Let's just say that his logic wasn't wrong but he was." A smirking Captain answered him.

"Do I dare ask what this is about?" Came now from Gaile which had Kathryn just shaking her head, she wasn't willing to answer that. "Okay, how about the first officer, Chakotay then?"

"A commander whose loyalty could never be questioned." Came now from Sam who had thrown a worried look at Kathryn, who just nodded at her, before answering.

"Would you agree with that sentiment Captain?"

"Yes, I would." Kathryn answered firmly but quietly.

Gaile just looked at her for a minute before continuing. "There are speculations about whether or not he will be allowed to stay in Starfleet after he attacked you. How do you feel about that?"

Janeway sighed and thought for a minute before stating firmly. "At the time he was ill and didn't know what he was doing. He was treated for that and returned to his duties shortly after, there were no more incidents."

"Do you think he should be offered to become a commanding officer of his own ship?"

The answer came without any hesitation. "I haven't spoken to him since our return so do not know what he has planned for himself, but if that is what he would like to do I will certainly give him my full support. He has proven himself over the years on more then one occasion and I firmly believe that he is ready."

The other four in the room had been looking at her quietly with worried expressions on their faces and now stepped in before this could become uncomfortable for their Captain. "Who would you like to know about next?" Came from B'Elanna.

Gaile hadn't been ready to leave this line of questioning but she saw the determined expressions B'Elanna and the others were giving her so she gracefully gave in. "How about Mister Paris here?"

The answer to this one came from Sam, with her expression telling Tom that she was sorry. "An outcast who was given a new life."

"I was the first of the Captains personal reclamation projects." Came the comment from Tom which had Kathryn looking at him incredulously.

"Reclamation projects?" Gaile now asked curiously.

He looked at Kathryn in amusement before starting to explain. "There was more then one person who struggled with being on the ship. Seven of course is the most obvious example and probably the one person our Captain is the most proud of..."

Kathryn though just shock her head at that and interrupted him with a firmly spoken, "I'm proud of every single member of the crew."

Tom though continued as if he never heard her. "Then there were people like Mortimer Harron, who for a long time was without any friends on board. People had been trying to befriend him but he was never interested till the day that the Captain stepped in. You know of course about that away mission which has been described in several reports already. But even afterwards she didn't stop, every week like clockwork she went down to find him. He could hide from the rest of the crew but never from her! She always found him and dragged him into a discussion and soon it wasn't unusual to find them in the mess hall or even down on deck fifteen in what seemed at first arguments but they were actually discussions on topics over half the crew was completely lost in. She surprised him though as she not only kept up with him but usually also won!"

"He kept me sharp!" Kathryn now threw in with a grin though she was blushing.

"There are many more examples just like Harron we could go on and on about this topic." B'Elanna threw in here.

Tom had one last comment to make though. "At least her other reclamation projects weren't as... explosive as Seven!"

Kathryn now had enough and countered with, "At least I didn't have to bust any but you out of prison more then once!" Which had Mike, B'Elanna and Sam in hysterics.

"More then once...?" Came the question from Gaile.

There was a triumphant gleam in Kathryns eyes when she realised that Tom was now quiet. "First time was of course the Penal colony here on Earth. Then in our first year out there he got accused of murdering a professor and got sentenced to continually relieve the murder..."

Now Tom started vehemently protesting. "I was innocent of that! You yourself helped proof it!"

But Kathryn was undeterred. "In our third year you got not only yourself but also poor Harry thrown into prison after being convicted of a terrorist crime and got an implant which nearly drove the two of you mad!"

Tom again interrupted. "Again you found proof that it wasn't us who did it!"

"But couldn't get the conviction overturned so had to bust you two out of that prison!" Kathryn now threw back at him. "And then in our fifth year you broke the prime directive and I myself had to not only demote you but throw you into the brig!"

"You threw the book at me!"

"You deserved it!"

"True enough." Tom admitted quietly and then started smirking. "Though you didn't have to do that you know? You punished me much better afterwards."

A questioningly raised eyebrow was his answer to that so he explained. "Before our time on the ship I could always hide from my friends or any people I disappointed, that wasn't an option on _Voyager. _So I had to face them but worst of all I had to face you! For months afterwards every time I turned around when on duty there you were in your nice big Captains chair, looking at me with this look of complete and utter disappointment! That more then anything else kept me in line."

Kathryns was determined not to laugh so her answer to this was completely dry. "Well, now I know for next time!"

"There better not be a next time! Both of you were unbearable during that entire episode!" Came now from B'Elanna before she turned her attention to Kathryn alone. "And anyway about that prison break of yours... Harry will forever worship you for that one alone."

Kathryns lips twitched and as soon as she looked over to Tom the two of them started laughing while everyone else looked on in amusement.

"It is quite clear you are close." Came the comment from Gaile.

Kathryn looked at her and then back at Tom with a fond look. "Comic relief!"

Which Tom promptly protested with a loud "Hey!"

A shake of her head was his answer. "Let me explain Tom. While we all became more then a crew in time especially in the beginning that was not so and there was a lot of tension." Which had all her crew members nodding their heads in complete agreement. "It would have been a very lonely seven years if you had not been with us."

That one did make Tom give her a surprised look. "What do you mean?"

"Because it was you who helped me bridge the gap between being the Captain and being what the crew needed." She explained now. "There has always been a certain distance between Captain and the rest of the crew. In that first year you were the only person who couldn't have cared less what rank I carry. Sure there were certain barriers even you wouldn't cross, and if you had you would have ended up in the brig anyway if you had tried, but you were the only person who would treat me like a human being instead of just the Captain at that point in time."

"What about Commander Chakotay and Tuvok?" Came now from B'Elanna.

"The Commanders and I had our own problems in that time. Need I remind you of that so called Alliance with the Kazon that was insisted on? I was against it from the beginning but they convinced me to try." Kathryn now asked with a pointedly raised eyebrow.

Tom snorted. "And we nearly died because of that."

"Do me a favour Captain?" Sam asked and elaborated at her questioning look she received. "Never listen to their diplomatic advice again."

Kathryn snorted. "Oh don't worry I haven't done that in a long time. Or we would probably still be stuck in the Void as Tuvok so helpfully admitted just before our return. I learned my lesson in that point with the Kazon. Oh sure they tried but it went in one ear and out the other every time something like that came up again."

Gaile had been listening intently and now spoke up. "Sounds like you don't trust your most senior officers Captain."

"I trust both of them with my life." Kathryn now stated. "Together the Commanders and I make a good team and it has saved our lives and the ship more then once. But I also know their strengths and weaknesses well enough by now just as they do mine. Diplomacy is a point I am stronger in then them for example. If in a tight spot ask Commander Tuvok for advice on a tactical situation and Commander Chakotay is more of a mix between us while also having some more unconventional methods at times. We balance each other out and it worked for us."

"And the weaknesses?" Gaile asked.

A smirk answered her. "This is a live feed to several million or even more people. You never know who watches so I am keeping that between my senior officers and myself."

Gaile was determined to get them back on topic now so asked about the next person. "To get back to the original questions. How would you describe Lieutenant Torres here?"

Mike answered this one. "A Klingon who was given a second chance."

Tom was smirking at that and quickly gave his own comment. "God, she had a temper at first!"

That had everyone laughing while B'Elanna was glaring at her husband. "Traitor!" She told him.

"Just telling the truth!" Tom quickly defended himself.

"Careful Tom, she still has that temper it's just better controlled now." A chuckling Kathryn threw in.

Gaile could now see that B'Elanna indeed still had that temper so, before she had a violent Klingon on her hands, quickly moved onto the last person on her list. "And what about Captain Janeway?"

There were now four smirks directed at Kathryn who couldn't help but groan. "Oh god, here it comes."

It did come but from a person she didn't expect. "A determined Captain who set a course for Earth and never stopped believing that we would get here." Tom said quietly but in a very firm voice, which had a surprised Kathryn lift her eyes to her crew to see soft smiles on all their faces directed at her.

"About that... how did you all react at first to her abduction?" Came the question they had all dreaded.

"With determination." Mike answered and at the questioning eyebrow explained further. "As Naomi Wildman said while we were still in the Delta Quadrant, the Captain would never have willingly left one of us behind. We had never any doubt that we would get her back or die trying." Beside him Tom, B'Elanna and Sam were nodding emphatically.

Gaile now turned towards Kathryn who had tensed. " I know it can't be easy for you to talk about what happened but how did you feel when you realised that your rescue was immediate?"

The answer came swiftly in a very dry voice, which had everyone wincing. "Not much I was fighting with the Queen so I was just a bit busy at the time... trying to stay alive."

"_Okay, that was a dumb question and god that crew is protective..."_ Gaile could see that the other four people were now glaring at her so quickly changed tactics. "What were your first thoughts when you woke up in _Voyagers _sickbay after being rescued?"

"I was asking myself if I was dreaming." Came the deadpan reply before Kathryn continued with a smile. "The last thing I expected was to find my mother sitting beside me or to be nearly smothered by her and my sister Phoebe." It wasn't quite the truth of course but she wasn't willing to say anything at all about the cortical node which she still had in her possession nor about what had happened with Chakotay.

"You are a close family." Gaile stated now.

Kathryn had to think for a minute on how best to answer. "We didn't use to be. Phoebe and I were like cat and mouse growing up and to this day she is still the one person who can make me mad the quickest, Mom always had to play peace maker which she didn't appreciate. My getting lost in the Delta Quadrant brought our relationships to a completely new level. We are more understanding of each other and communicate much better then ever before though they are still getting used to the fact that I brought a much larger family unit home with me then they ever expected. As Phoebe told me just a couple days ago she guessed that we were close but our home is now constantly filled with people which not even I expected. The crew and I are still adjusting to being here while our families have to adjust to the fact that the family just got a lot bigger. It's not every day that a family extends by well over one hundred people and that in addition each of them has their own relatives and friends."

B'Elanna couldn't help but snort now. "Isn't that the truth! I still wake up in the middle of the night panicking because I can't feel the hum of the warp core and wanting to go to engineering to fix my ship."

"Your ship?" Came now from Kathryn with a pointed look in her eyes. "Let me tell you something B'Elanna and I will only say this once. _Voyager _is mine and has always been mine! It has been since before you ever laid your eyes on it never mind being Chief of Engineering."

B'Elanna wasn't going to let that stand. "You mean those two measly weeks you were in command before getting lost? You made a pretty strong statement so you better have more then that or she is mine!"

"Then I win easily and anyway I never lost the ship I always knew where it was." Kathryn now stated with a smirk which had the others quietly laughing. "Two years before _Voyager _first got commissioned Admiral Patterson showed me the blueprints for her... and I promptly fell in love."

Tom piped up next with a disbelieving... "You fell in love with blueprints?"

Kathryn nodded before explaining further. "He quickly arranged for me to be reassigned to Planetia Utopia and I was there for every step of the build. In fact by the end of it the engineers there couldn't wait to be rid of me. I drove them mad on a daily basis with new ideas and concepts for the ship, most of which were implemented and even B'Elanna here admitted more then once how much she loved them."

At the end of her little speech she was smirking at B'Elanna in a big way who only scowled at her before reluctantly admitting. "Alright, you win."

"What was that?" Kathryn needled her now.

B'Elanna knew exactly what Kathryn wanted and already knew she wouldn't live this down any time soon, if not Kathryn then Tom would know to use this but she did give Kathryn what she wanted. "You win! _Voyager _is yours, she belongs to you not me."

The look on her face as she said it now cracked everyone in the room up and it took a minute before Gaile spoke up again. "And that is even more correct considering that even by law the ship belongs to the Captain."

"What do you mean?" Came from Mike in a confused tone. "I thought by law it belongs to Starfleet and the Federation."

Kathryn just shock her head at them. "Not any more, after we first managed to get in contact Starfleet had a little dilemma about that. The ship had been declared destroyed with all hands lost fourteen months before that after all. When they found out we were still alive they found that they couldn't just put her back on active duty as we were too far away to take many if any official missions. After a couple months of arguing about it they in the end agreed to just transfer the ship to my ownership. Though it is a good thing that they never told me while we were still in the Delta Quadrant or I may have just ended up telling Tom to have fun at the helm."

Gaile could see by the surprised reactions of the four _Voyager _crew members that they had no idea but now wanted to get back to their prior topic. "Kathryn, how did you react to the messages your crew send to the Alpha Quadrant in their bid to get permission to free you?"

A tiny smirk was now on Kathryns face. "It took me two days but I hunted everyone down to thank them personally with a hug."

"You call that a hug?" Came from Sam. "My back still hurts from the squeezing you gave me!

The reply came swiftly. "You deserved it!"

Sam had always been good at sarcasm and it now came out in full force. "Well thanks for breaking my back then!"

Kathryn didn't let her win this one and gave Sam her biggest smile just to return with a large dose of her own sarcasm a... "You are welcome!"

"Which reminds me!" B'Elanna piped up with now. "I had a very interesting conversation with your mother this morning Kathryn. She swore to me that you are one of the best cooks she knows..."

Sam and Mike were staring at Kathryn in shock with the latter getting his voice back first. "What? That can't be right!"

But Sam wasn't far behind. "You are kidding me! She burned replicator food!"

Meanwhile Tom was very smug. "I knew that would come out sometime."

Three heads whipped around to him and snapped at the same time. "You knew?"

Tom rocked back in his seat at their accusing glares but still managed to grin. "Of course I knew! Have you already forgotten what I said about my father earlier? He has known her a long time and has always loved her food."

Mike and Sam were now staring at him in disbelieve while B'Elanna couldn't help sputtering. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"For one it wasn't my secret to tell and two... I feared not being able to get any more of it. Her food is to die for!" He admitted now with a very sheepish grin.

Kathryn was grinning madly at that. "He came to me in our first week and practically begged for some samples and has done so ever since about once or twice a week."

"Who else knew?" B'Elanna now demanded to know.

"Tuvok, as one of my oldest friends, of course knew from the start and Seven found out about a year ago."

"The two most tight lipped people on board when it comes to their dealings with you... No wonder we never found out." B'Elanna groaned now.

"Why did Chakotay always regale us with stories of your burned dinners? Did he lie to us all this time?" Mike demanded to know next.

"Of course he didn't lie, he just didn't know any better." Came the answer from a smirking Kathryn. "And before you say anything I never outright lied about it either because none of you actually came to ask me about it."

B'Elanna couldn't help her curiosity now. "But Chakotay had the expression that the burned food was because of your dismal skills at cooking! How? And more importantly why?"

"The first time it happened was an actual replicator malfunction." Kathryn admitted now before continuing with a grin. "I didn't realise at first how fast that little accident went round the scuttlebutt but it seemed to make me less of a larger then life person to the crew so I just let it continue. I didn't particularly enjoy the thought of being treated as a rank instead of a human being for the rest of my life and having a so obvious fault seemed to make me less 'godlike' for you all. Only problem I did have with it was that deliberately burning the food took so much effort."

"It took effort?" Spluttered Sam now.

Kathryn raised her right eyebrow at Sam before answering with a smirk. "Of course it did! I had to burn the food or make it inedible without making it obvious. Chakotay did have fun at checking out my replicator most of the time to make sure that there wasn't a malfunction. There wasn't I made sure of that, I'm after all the better engineer then him."

B'Elanna now had a suspicion and promptly voiced it. "That can't be all there is to it...? Admit it! You hate cooking!"

Kathryn laughed out loud before the answer came with a slightly sheepish grin to the amusement of everyone. "Guilty as charged!"

Meanwhile Gaile was impressed with how the interview had gone so far but knew that their time was nearly up so wanted to wrap this up. While the rest of the interview had not been planned she knew what her producers wanted for the ending so quickly thought of a way to bring that topic up."You were out there for a long time under very unusual circumstances from the start. Merging the two crews can't have been easy, especially so far away from home. What brought the crews together for each of you?"

Janeway perked up at this question. "Oh that is something I would love to know as well."

Sam spoke up first. "For us Starfleet crew there was no question we followed our orders so I let the others answer this."

Tom was next. "I also can not add much to this topic."

B'Elanna and Mike looked at each other in understanding before the latter spoke up slightly sheepish. "When I saw the Captain really lose her temper?" Which had the one in question raise her eyebrows in disbelieve while Tom and Sam laughed.

"What happened?" Gaile asked curiously and with the amusement clear in her voice.

After a quick look at B'Elanna Mike quickly started explaining. "Well to start with we had been running low on Dillithium and our scanners had showed some on a seemingly abandoned planet. Commander Chakotay took an away team down to search for it, the group split up for a wider search area when Neelix detected a life form of some kind. When the team got to him he had collapsed and couldn't breath. He was beamed back to _Voyager _where we found out that his lungs had been removed!"

Gailes eyebrows rose here and in a shocked voice she asked. "Removed? How?"

B'Elanna took this part of the explanation over. "At that point we didn't know. So Captain Janeway took another team down to search the area where it had happened. Meanwhile our Doctor kept Neelix alive with holographic lungs which meant for Neelix that he couldn't move an inch and he was trapped on a biobed in sickbay."

Gaile stared at them in disbelieve now so Kathryn decided to help them explain."It took us a while but we found an area which our scanners had not showed us behind a form of holographic wall. Very sophisticated, we may never have found it if not for the attack on Neelix. Behind that wall we found containers full with humanoid organs and then also detected two more life signs which we then followed. They escaped for a time on their ship but we beamed back to our ship quickly and followed them to a hollow asteroid where we captured them."

B'Elanna now made a comment which had them all grinning at each other. "How we captured them is another story which would take too long to explain though to make it clear from the start the Vidiians are far more advanced medically then anything we have here in the Alpha Quadrant. As you all know Neelix is still alive so to clear up confusion they showed us in the end how to modify one lung from our then resident Ocampa Kes which saved his life. The doctor transplanted one of them to him and he has had no problem with it since."

Mike was the first to turn back to the reporter."Neelix wasn't either Starfleet or Marquis but after we captured them I was witness to the Captains... discussion with them."

"I heard about that. It's one of the legends within the crew." Sam interjected quickly.

Janeway had by now realised what exactly Mike was trying to say and groaned loudly which had her four crew members grinning madly at her.

Mike quickly explained further. "I had rarely seen anyone that mad before... or since come to think about it. Now you should know that most Marquis hadn't been impressed with the merging of the crews and some were in fact downright angry at that point. Mumblings of a mutiny from our site were common. Yes our ship had been destroyed by our Captain to save hers but he then agreed to serve under this seemingly waif of a woman. We weren't impressed."

Janeway narrowed her eyes at that and glared at him. "Did you just make a joke about my size?"

Torres also spoke up. "I'm the same size you know?" She then looked at him just as menacingly.

"Well you two aren't exactly tall..." Tom Paris spoke up here, then trailed off and gulped in fear when first his Captain then his wife turned their attention (and glares!) to him. "Never mind!"

"Back on topic please? What happened?"

Janeway at this point buried her head in her hands and groaned again while her crew grinned wildly. "She demanded the return of the lungs but the two Vidiians we had captured couldn't do that as they had already transplanted them into one of them. That's when she really got angry, it was a sight to behold! But I can't seem to remember her exact words now..." Mike trailed off.

Sam spoke up next. "While I wasn't there it did go down the scuttlebutt. Not sure how accurate it is but I try and quote. _'Your culture__ may have found a way to ignore the moral implications of what you are doing, but I have no such luxury. I don't have the freedom to kill you to save another. My culture finds that to be a reprehensible and entirely unacceptable act. If we were closer to home I would lock you up, I'd turn you over to my authorities for trial. But I don't even have that ability here, and I am not prepared to carry you forever in our brig. So I see no other alternative, but to let you go.' _ Of course our journey didn't exactly take forever but that wasn't the point she was trying to make to them."

"What horrible people." Now came from the shocked Gail.

Mike quietly picked up where Sam had left off. "It wasn't all she told them. By that point in time the Captain had the two Vidiians, and quite a few of the security force including myself, completely terrified of her but she wasn't quite finished with them. She then proceeded to tell them a message for their people and threatened them to within an inch of their lives! And here I can quote: '_If I ever encounter your kind again, I will do whatever is necessary to protect my people from this harvesting of yours. Any aggressive actions against this ship and its crew will be met by the deadliest force. Is that clear?'_ The look on her face that day... she was serious. And to be completely honest, Captain... I wouldn't have been surprised if you had jumped down their throats to kill them yourself right there and then."

Janeways face said it all. "Don't think it didn't go through my mind." She muttered darkly.

"They certainly made it easy to tempt us." Came from B'Elanna and an understanding look passed between the five _Voyagers._

"Anyway that sealed it for us." Mike let them know.

Gaile was confused. "I'm afraid I don't understand."

B'Elanna quickly explained. "Those words made it clear to all of us, whether Marquis or Starfleet, that our Captain saw us as one crew and would also protect and treat each and everyone of us as such. That more then anything else earned her our loyalty."

"I never knew, would have been good to know in that first year." Came from their touched Captain.

Gaile quickly jumped on that. "When did it become clear to you that the two crews had truly merged?"

Kathryn didn't have to think about that. "Months after that incident and about a year into our journey, after we found some rust of all things in the Delta Quadrant."

"Rust?" Came the slightly disbelieving question.

All five _Voyagers _now had smiles on their faces and their eyes were unfocused as they remembered what happened. "You are right Kathryn, that really proved it for us as well." Sam spoke up softly.

Gaile looked in confusion at them before Kathryn took pity on her. "We were as confused then as you are now. Rust was certainly the last thing we expected to find and when we followed the trail we found a pick – up truck of all things."

They could all see the confusion on Gailes face was now getting bigger so they turned collectively to Tom who explained further. "It is an old Earth auto mobile from the twentieth century or to be more exact from the year nineteen thirty – six."

B'Elanna interjected here. "We brought it on board to investigate further where Tom here promptly gave us all heart attacks by actually starting that thing!"

There was a grin on Toms face when he answered. "Well I had to find out if it actually worked!"

Kathryn took over before it could turn into an argument. "Anyway, we soon discovered an odd signal which our sensors had not picked up on before we beamed the car on board. When I asked Ensign Kim why he had not reported it, he told me that he had not detected it as the signal didn't travel at the speed of light. It was actually an old Earth distress call named an SOS. We quickly decided to follow the trail but the planet it came from was a Class L which was charged with trinimbic interference and made communications on the surface and the use of our transporters impossible. So instead I decided that we should land the ship."

Tom spoke up again. "Which I of course had never done before that." Tom and Kathryn were now openly grinning at each other.

"You certainly did a good job and have gained more experience with it since!"

"Well I am not Chakotay." Tom regretted that particular comment the moment he said it as Kathryn promptly brought her Captains mask back up. Those who didn't know her wouldn't see a difference but for those who did the difference was clear as day.

B'Elanna, Mike and Sam meanwhile exchanged telling looks then Mike quickly brought them back on topic. "Anyway when we investigated the planet we found some old stasis chambers with humans in it."

There were knowing grins on all their faces now as they looked at a shocked Gaile. Quietly Kathryn explained more. "We were of course shocked it was the first time we had seen other humans since we were pulled from the Alpha Quadrant. There were all together eight humans still alive though their life signs were weak. One of whom is quite well known even in the society of today. A woman by the name of Amelia Earhart."

"The legendary pilot?" Came the next question quite breathlessly.

They all grinned at her before Sam spoke up. "Indeed. As the rumours in the twentieth century already said she was indeed kidnapped by aliens, to be more exact the Briori who brought her and hundreds of others to their world in the Delta Quadrant to be their slaves. After a while the humans which had been brought out of stasis revolted and killed their 'masters' during which their ship and most of their technology was destroyed. They could not return so instead the surviving people build their own civilisation out there on that planet. Their descendants are still there today."

"At the time of course we didn't know that so we brought Amelia and the other seven survivors out of stasis. To say the least they didn't believe us when we tried telling them what had happened to them and in fact took our away team hostage for a while." Tom now told her.

"How did you get out of that?"

Four grins were now directed towards Kathryn who huffed. "I managed to get Amelia to listen to me long enough to get her curious..."

"Curious about what?"

At that question she grinned. "What else but _Voyager_? There was after all seven hundred thousand metric tonnes of a Starship on that planet – more then enough proof in my opinion. But when we came out of the area the stasis chambers were in, we found another of our away teams which was under attack. We all quickly dove for cover and defended ourselves while protecting the civilians with us. I managed to double back and come at the attackers from behind at which point both sites realised that we were all humans."

"They came from the human settlement?"

Sam spoke up this time. "Yes. They had been alerted as we had disturbed one of their sacred sites. Their shock must have been as great as ours at discovering Amelia and the others with her alive. We were invited to see their cities and I must admit that they were truly beautiful. Thousands of light years from here is another world which had humans evolve just like us here on Earth. It was... a humbling experience."

"What about that experience showed you that you had truly merged into one crew?"

"They invited us to stay with them – permanently." Kathryn now answered quietly.

"We all had a choice to make that day. Stay and build a new life or continue on our journey into the unknown to try and make it home." Sam added just as quietly.

And Mike rounded it off. "The Captain left the choice up to us fully knowing that if too many wanted to stay she risked stranding the rest of the crew and herself on that planet too."

"How many of your crew were left behind on that planet?"

A small proud smile was now on Kathryns lips. "None. They all decided to continue on our journey."

Stunned Gaile could only stare at the five of them so Kathryn continued. "We lost eighty – two members of the crew on our journey, over sixty of which died when the Caretaker originally pulled us to the Delta Quadrant. That number does include the people who died on the Marquis ship before ever setting foot on _Voyager, _we had to leave their remains behind but that does not mean that they are forgotten nor will they ever be."

"Can you tell us some of their names?"

Obediently Kathryn started naming them. "Lt Commander Cavit, Lt Stadi,..."

As Kathryn named all their dead, her crew members could only listen in stunned silence though they did realise that Seska and her ilk were not named which relieved them all.

Meanwhile on the Vid – screens of billions of viewers, the millions Kathryn had mentioned was a complete understatement, all around the Alpha Quadrant they could not see the Captain and her crew any more. While Kathryn spoke each name a holoimage of the crew member in question was shown. It were not official pictures but images taken when they had been happy with their friends and loved ones. Whether that was on board _Voyager _for those who died there or earlier images Kathryn had managed to get one image for each person they had lost.


	14. Chapter 14

Answers to the anonymous review below.

_From: Dani ()_ _-_

_First I have a question: Is Chakotay now fully healed, or is it intentional_ _that u never elaborated on his condition since the scene with tuvok on a_ _vulcan ship further?_

No and it's deliberate, it will come up again sometime in the future ie it's a part of the plot. Don't forget Teero and more importantly Section 31, for which he indeed works, is still around. Shutting up here before I say (Yes, I did have to delete some stuff here!) too much. 

_The Interview with Gaile Winters was genious :) I like the way u let the_ _characters interact with each other. It was really amusing how u made the_ _interview._

Thank you! That one took a really long time, was working on it for weeks and must have rewritten and/or edited it about 50 times. Though of course I only realised after I published it that one mistake is in due the countless edits. Just look at Toms comment about his father lol!

_P.S: Again sorry for bad english writing. Hope the meaning of everything is_ _comprehendible ;-)_

My first language is German if that is any help to you? If not it's no problem I know how hard it is to learn a second language myself and so far I understood everything anyway.

For future anonymous reviews:

Normally I answer reviews per pm here on for those who don't want to use that option my E-mail can be found on my profile, I will answer faster that way so you don't have to wait for the next chapter.

**Chapter 14**

The day after the interview Janeway really regretted ever agreeing to it, though she did appreciate Starfleet security a whole lot more! She had been woken up nearly four hours before she had to be at work by even more reporters which considering how skittish Naomi still was hadn't been a very good idea. She had then spent most of the morning getting an injunction against them so that they weren't able to practically camp out in her front yard and now had to stay at least three hundred yards away from all properties belonging to her. Currently she was enjoying the unusually good February weather together with about twenty members of her former crew which included Sam and Naomi who had been at Starfleet Medical for a check – up. While sitting on the grass resting from their debriefings her crew had been quietly listening to what had happened that morning as Naomi especially was still shaken up from the entire episode.

"They seriously climbed up a tree to try and get a picture through a window at six o'clock in the morning? That's insane!" Chell exclaimed now.

Kathryn couldn't help but growl just from thinking about it, she hadn't appreciated being thrown out of bed by a screaming Naomi. "Unfortunately it's true, believe me I wish I could tell you otherwise!"

Tal Celes had been quietly thinking about the injunction for a while and now just had to know. "About that injunction... does this mean they have to stay away from _Voyager _too?"

The smirks on the faces of Kathryn and Sam were more then enough answer and even Naomi, who had been quietly sitting in her mothers arms, was grinning about it. "Revenge is sweet." The little girl commented now.

"I bet it is!" Came the very dry answer from Ensign Jenkins which had most everyone else laughing loudly.

"C – Captain Janeway?" Came now from behind them.

Turning they all saw an Ensign who seemed very nervous and was fidgeting with a PADD she was holding. The Captain in question though just raised an eyebrow at her and waited to see what she wanted.

Handing Janeway a PADD she explained, "Admiral Nechayev asked me to bring you this PADD and she wanted to know if you will be able to get the rest of your staff in place by Friday?"

"I doubt you were supposed to ask me that in public." Kathryn stated dryly with a slight undertone of disapproval evident in her voice.

"I'm sorry, sir." Ensign Mallert, as she was known, couldn't help but notice now that every person sitting with the Captain had winced upon hearing her speak and she looked at them in confusion.

"I don't like being called sir, Ensign. Captain will do, understood?"

"Yes, ma'am." This time they were actually shaking their heads at her.

"Anything else?" The tone of disapproval in Janeways voice was just getting more pronounced now.

"No, Captain." This time there were nods of approval and she sighed in relief when she saw the beginning of a smile on Janeways face.

"Well that didn't take her too long to learn." Naomi whispered just a bit too loudly to her mother.

As laughter rang across the grounds of Starfleet Headquarters Chakotay, who had been watching from afar, couldn't help but smile sadly. The dinner Kathryn had invited him to had been nice but he had seen in her eyes and body language that she had not been comfortable in his company. She also hadn't answered his hails since then, okay he knew she said she was busy and to try over the weekend but he had been worried especially after that interview. Now here she was obviously not busy enough to spend time with the crew.

"Well, well, well,... see what the cat dragged in." Came the sarcastic comment from behind him.

A surprised Chakotay turned around now just to take a step back in fear as he saw a certain angry Klingon standing in front of him. "B'Elanna..." He said just to stop at the look she had in her eyes.

B'Elanna wished she could give Chakotay a piece of her mind but had remembered her promise to Kathryn at the last second. So she had only went for sarcasm but she couldn't help but smirk when she saw him take a step back. "Oh don't worry, I won't touch you. I must admit I didn't believe the rumour which said you had returned." She paused here and saw him look at her in surprise. "Did you really think Tom didn't tell me or the rest of the crew what happened?"

"I realised that everyone must know considering that they all refuse to talk to me." He admitted quietly.

"For good reason..." B'Elanna stopped at the expression on his face and now really looked at him for a minute. "Well, it took you long enough!" She told him at last.

"What?" He asked now.

"I don't know what was wrong with you for the last year..." She trailed off when she saw him starting to speak up and held up her hand to stop him. "There is only one person you should be explaining yourself to and it isn't me." She told him with a pointed look towards the group still sitting on the grass not too far from them. B'Elanna only waited long enough for him to acknowledge her point before continuing, "It's obvious you have snapped out of whatever the problem was."

Chakotay was so surprised he could only stammer a weak, "H-How?" in reply.

"Easy, I have known you for eight nearly nine years now." As she said it she smirked.

He couldn't help but sigh now. "A shame that Kathryn didn't realise that too."

That comment made the Klingon curious. "You already spend some time with her?"

"Yes, she invited me to dinner two nights ago after I practically stormed past her defences. She told me about the interview you did last night then..."

A grinning B'Elanna couldn't help but interrupt now. "That was a lot of fun!" She was about to say more when she saw by the look on his face that more was coming.

"She gave me her contact details then and told me I could contact her over the weekend. She had given me the excuse that she is too busy..." He trailed off here.

"And now here she is, spending time with the crew." B'Elanna finished for him to which Chakotay just nodded in answer. "I didn't want to say it but that she doesn't want to spend time with you is entirely your own fault."

"I know that!" Came the outburst from the Commander now before visible calming himself and then softly asking, "But why did she invite me to that dinner then?"

A raised eyebrow was his answer to that before B'Elanna spoke. "I can't answer that without knowing exactly what happened."

Chakotay stared at her for a minute in surprise, he really hadn't expected her to help him, before he started to talk. He talked for half an hour not leaving anything out before he finished with, "... She made her excuses soon after telling me about the interview."

B'Elanna had quietly listened to his story and had realised quickly what the problem was."I can't believe you guilt tripped her into that dinner!" B'Elanna exclaimed now and glared at him. "Did you have to bring up Neelix of all people?"

"I have no idea what you are on about." He admitted after a minute of staring at her in surprise.

B'Elanna couldn't help it, she snorted. "I never thought I see the day you don't know what is happening with the crew!" She stopped to look at him for a minute before quietly asking. "You know that Sam Wildman got hurt while on leave right?"

"Yes, Kathryn told me about it but wouldn't explain anything... she just told me it is classified."

"It is, but you know the scuttlebutt. Rumours started flying pretty fast and it didn't take us long to figure out that something happened to Neelix at the same time. No one has heard from him since the day he left with the Wildmans on their leave. Kathryn and Sam won't say anything of course but its obvious from not only their reaction but especially Naomis that something is very wrong..." She trailed off here and waited for him to make his own conclusions.

Chakotay realised pretty fast, now that it was pointed out to him, what he had done and groaned. "She used the dinner to get away from having to talk about Neelix." A hesitant nod was his answer to that and he sighed in defeat. "I always seem to mess things up right now. How the hell can I make this up to her?"

"Well, I don't know about that but are you interested in going to dinner around five? A big group of us is going to this Greek restaurant which belongs to the family of Ensign Jenkins."

Chakotay turned to his friend with a smile on his face. "Kathryn likes Greek food, so all I have to do is get her to come."

B'Elanna just grinned. "Leave that to me."

* * *

When the part of the crew who liked Greek food gathered at _Tahsin, _as the restaurant was called, B'Elanna had managed not only the participation of Kathryn but also Alynna Nechayev, much to Chakotays regret. He knew, just by the look on the Admirals face when she saw him, that she was not happy to see him and now she made sure to keep Kathryn busy. He didn't mind too much as it gave him a rare opportunity to watch Janeway with the crew, what he saw though he didn't like. The Captain he knew couldn't go through a conversation without touching the person she spoke to, a pat on the shoulder or arm here and there... He had always loved her ability to make any member completely at ease with it but she had now been mingling for over an hour, talked with over half the people there even, but had not touched any of them even once. He also saw other changes he didn't like, like the fact that she always kept her back to a wall and her eyes out for all the exits as if she expected to be attacked at any moment and the small but discernible flinches she made when someone touched her. It had taken him a while but he was now near enough to listen to her conversation without the Admiral, whom she was currently talking to, realising it.

* * *

Meanwhile Janeway was not aware of the manoeuvring Alynna had done all night to keep Chakotay away from her and had used the rare opportunity to talk to the members of the crew she had not seen much since their return to Earth. She knew that she would have to leave them to their debriefings soon while she toured the Federation and was keenly aware of how much she would miss them. But it had been a long day already and her feet were starting to hurt so she had done some manoeuvring of her own and now was seated in a relatively private corner of the room alone with Alynna. She had wanted to ask her something for a while and this was probably the best opportunity to bring it up but she wasn't sure how to start.

Alynna was keenly aware that Kathryn wanted to talk to her and just looked at her in amusement now. "Alright, what is it you want to ask?" At Janeways surprised look at her she chuckled. "You are fidgeting and playing with that comm badge of yours. I just hope you don't want anything dangerous or is that red alert comment from Seven still something I have to be careful of?" She laughed out loud when Janeway looked down at her badge and promptly took her hand away from it with a sheepish look on her face.

"Well..." Janeway started then hesitated before continuing more quietly with an unsure look on her face. "Out there in the Delta Quadrant... well I'm the first to admit that my decisions weren't always above board. Normally you could easily court marshal me, especially in your position as Fleet Admiral... Why didn't you?"

"You think you got away with it because of what happened with the Borg?" Alynna asked just as quietly and at Janeways nod to that sighed before continuing. "No, it was already decided before hand that we wouldn't do that. Don't get me wrong it was certainly thought about but we also had to keep your very unusual situation in mind."

Janeway was quietly watching her now not saying a thing so she tried to explain a bit better. "Starfleet has known for a very long time how isolated Command can be and we always strived to give our Captains the best support system we could. You completely fell through the cracks because you were so very far away and for a long time had absolutely no contact with us. We believe that if the circumstances had been different situations like the one with the _Equinox_ would never have come up. When we first found out about that one there was a lot of talk about it of course but we not only looked at the logs of that incident but also at the prior and following logs. For example we know about that depression you were in while stuck in that part of space which was void of anything else."

"That was quite a while before that." Janeway interrupted her.

Alynna looked at her with a raised eyebrow now. "You can't tell me that didn't factor in, your officers say otherwise."

"B-But..." Kathryn spluttered now.

"No buts! You may have hidden it successfully from most of your crew but you didn't fool your two highest officers." Alynna shot back at her before lowering her voice for the rest of what she had to say. "They were worried about you but you managed to bounce back from all of that and there were no more incidents afterwards. It's part of the reason we made sure that once we established regular contact you had at minimum two minutes a day with us. We wanted to make sure that if you needed us we would be there."

Alynna watched Kathryn now, very much aware of the guilt the Captain still carried. "No one blames you for anything that happened least of all for Axum. Which is what you really wanted to know isn't it?"

* * *

Chakotay had listened quietly so far, keenly aware of the fact that if either of the two women talking realised he was there he would be in big trouble. But the last question from Alynna had him stop to think back, he of course knew about what had happened in sickbay but he didn't think that was what the Admiral meant. Unfortunately neither of the two explained what it meant and instead were now just quietly sitting there. After ten minutes of watching them he slowly and carefully left his hiding place and then the restaurant to make his way back to Starfleet Headquarters were he had Fleet accommodation. As he walked he couldn't help but worry, _"What did the Admiral mean? What happened to Axum that would make Kathryn feel guilty?" _Those and similar thoughts went round his head for the entire hour and a half it took him to walk back. He could have easily transported, which would have been faster, but it was a nice and relatively warm night and even as he walked onto the grounds near his apartment he knew that he wouldn't be able to sleep. So instead of going back to his apartment he decided to go to the officer's gym to tire himself out with a round of boxing.

The last thing he expected as he walked inside was Kathyn being there. She wasn't alone though, it seemed he had walked right into one of her training sessions with 'Boothby', who was in his human form. Once again he hid and watched amazed as Kathyn destroyed and then put back together several huge blocks of stones. Last he knew she left behind small chunks of the rock but this time she pulverized them just to put them back together. _"Her training is going well." _Was all he could think just as the Alien started to speak.

"That's enough for tonight Kathryn."

Janeway was breathing hard and felt like a pig from the sweat which had accumulated but she wasn't ready to quit just yet. She knew her friend and teacher well enough by now though to know that he wouldn't take no for an answer so seemingly gave in. "Same time tomorrow then?" She asked him while sitting down and grabbing a towel to dry herself off.

'Boothby' was watching her in concern knowing how much these sessions took out of her. Fortunately for Janeway he didn't know her well enough just yet and trusted her to know when to quit. "Yes, will you be alright walking back on your own or do you want me to take you?"

"I'd rather walk if you don't mind. It's a warm night and the fresh air will do me some good."

He just nodded in reply. "Very well, I will speak to you tomorrow. Be well and have a good night." With that said the Alien just vanished from the Gym.

Unfortunately for Janeway Chakotay of course knew her far better then the Alien did and as he watched her stand up and turn back to the stones he made his presence known. "I believe he said it's enough."

Whirling around to see who had spoken she froze when she realised who it was. "How long have you been here?" She asked after her heart rate went back to normal from the shock she had received.

"Long enough to know that you should stop." He told her while walking towards her. Coming to a stop beside the Captain he looked at her in concern, while earlier tonight she seemed very well she still hadn't got her breath back and was paler then what should be normal after the 'workout' she just had. "Come, I walk you to the transporter station." He said, offered her his arm and promptly started walking once she took it.

Knowing from far too much experience that arguing with Chakotay would be completely useless Janeway just sighed. "My apartment is just round the corner no transport needed."

The Commander looked at her in confusion as they walked up to the building her apartment was in. "Apartment? Don't you live with your family in Indiana?"

"I do." She answered before explaining further when she realised that he had no idea. "I always had an apartment near Headquarters as I don't want to disturb my mother too late. That hasn't changed and besides I need my own space."

Chakotay was suspicious and promptly voiced it. "There is more behind this then you are saying. You always wanted to go back to Indiana and now you practically hide out here at Headquarters?"

That wasn't a topic of conversation Janeway was comfortable with but as she hadn't bitten his head off so far Chakotay only waited long enough for them to get into her apartment. Once she closed the door behind them he trapped her against the wall and threw caution to the wind. "Out with it! Why are you not comfortable with going home?"

"Commander let me go!"

He really wanted to snap back that he wouldn't till she told him what was wrong but he could feel her trembling slightly under his touch. He was frustrated with her hiding like this true but under the circumstances he really couldn't blame her. Besides while she was trying to hide it he could see that there was true fear in her eyes, not of him but what he was doing. Realising that he was loosing control he immediately let her go and stepped back. "I'm sorry, I'm just worried about you."

There was a glare in Janeways eyes but she didn't say another word and instead turned to retreat further into the apartment. Taking a deep breath to calm himself down Chakotay knew that he had to be more careful or he would find himself in the hands of Starfleet Security very soon, but that didn't mean he was willing to give up for tonight. Slowly he looked around the apartment to see where Kathryn had gone in her haste to bring space between them. Everywhere he looked he could see keepsakes from the Delta Quadrant, from Amelia Earhards flight jacket and Caylems necklace all the way to the tiny replica of Voyager, which he knew from B'Elanna, she had replicated only days before being kidnapped by the Borg in memory of Joe Carey.

"It's a replicated one, the original Joe made is where it belongs – his family." Came a certain husky voice from behind him. Surprised by her sudden reappearance he turned to see Kathryn, with her customary coffee in hand, standing near the window. Pointing towards the table between them she told him, "Your tea is on there." and promptly turned back round to look at the skyline of San Francisco.

Knowing she was trying to change the topic, he ignored the tea and instead stepped up behind her. He could see from her stance how tense she was and lifted his hands to give her a massage and maybe help her relax. Upon contact he could feel the slight flinch and she got even more tense for a minute before his hands started to work their magic. "Relax, I won't hurt you." He whispered to her.

For the next little while neither spoke but the positions they were in wasn't very good for what he had in mind so he slowly pulled her towards the couch. Resisting at first Kathryn looked a bit unsure but once he put his finger to her lips she complied without saying a word to complain. Settling behind her he resumed his massage and within minutes felt her start to relax.

While grateful for the massage Kathryn knew he was just trying to soften her up. Unfortunately for her though it had indeed been a very long day and she just didn't have the energy to resist those hands. Groaning she let her head fall forward to give him better access.

Knowing he had to get her comfortable he decided on switching tactics. "Rough day?"

"Hmm..." She agreed before once again groaning. "Oh god, please don't stop. This feels far too good."

He just chuckled at that before searching for a save topic to start their conversation. "Your training seems to be going well." He told her just to stop in surprise when he felt her tense up completely. After a minute she mumbled something in reply which he couldn't understand. "What did you say?"

"It's too cold in Indiana."

That one he hadn't expected! Recovering from his surprise and knowing that she had deliberately switched topics he resumed his massage. "What do you mean with that?" He knew from her reaction to his well meant comment about her training, that she wouldn't answer him that whatever he did so concentrated on what she had said while making a mental note to himself to find out about it.

"You asked me earlier why I'm avoiding Indiana. It's too cold there." Kathryn now repeated slowly.

Chakotay, knowing very well that she had grown up there and always loved the snow and cold, just waited in silence for her to resume speaking. Far too used to that treatment from _Voyager _and knowing she had to give him somethingKathryn sighed and explained further. "The Borg cubes were always so dark and cold..."

Chakotay was unsure what exactly she meant and had to find out a bit more. "Aren't Sam, Seven and a couple others staying there? You would think with so many others the house would stay warm."

"It's not the house." Kathryn sighed and this time deliberately buried her head in her arms before trying her best to explain. "By the time I'm usually done at work and start going home it's dark in Indiana..."

"And as it is winter it's also cold." Chakotay finished for her which got him a small nod in answer. Not knowing what to say without making her feel worse he stayed quiet for a while just thinking about everything. In the end he decided it would probably be best to confront that particular fear another time and searched for another topic. Remembering the conversation he had overheard earlier that night he instead tried to find answers for that. "What happened to Axum?" He asked very quietly now.

He had been prepared for her to tense but not for her to jump up and round on him with a glare on her face."You eavesdropped on my conversation with Alynna earlier!" The guilty look on his face told Kathryn all she needed to know. "You had no right!"

"Kathryn..." He tried to interrupt her

"I don't want to hear your damn excuses! Get out!"

He wasn't going to take that, not this time. Pulling her back to the couch he started speaking firmly to make sure his point got across. "I'm not leaving till you tell me what happened to him." Silence. "Kathryn!" He practically growled out now which had her tense up even more. Knowing what the problem was he tried to explain. "I told you I won't hurt you! But I am also not watching you hurt yourself. Now tell me what the problem is." Then waited quietly for her to start speaking while making sure that she wouldn't be able to run again.

Knowing that he really wouldn't let her leave without explaining she slumped before saying so quietly that he barely heard, "He is dead."

"_Good." _Was the first thought that ran through Chakotays mind before he realised that for some reason Kathryn blamed herself for the traitors death. Wrapping his arms around her to pull her into a hug he asked, "Why are you feeling so guilty about that?"

"Because it's my fault." Came the mumbled reply and he could see that while she tried to hide it the tears were starting to come. Knowing if he said anything now she may take it the wrong way he strengthened his grip on her and waited for her to explain.

"I didn't remember in time." She admitted at last.

Not understanding what she meant Chakotay had to ask for clarification on that."You didn't remember what?"

"The Slipstream drive. When Axum first came on board I didn't even think of it."

"What does that have to do with him?" He could feel her trembling now and knew that the tears were coming freely but she just shock her head before burying herself in his arms. "Talk to me Kathryn." He whispered to her.

Through the tears she tried to explain. "They thought... that it would take us three years at minimum to get home. And faced the same problem we had years ago with the Vidiians, it's not possible to keep someone in the brig for so long with that kind of journey! The... the drain on the limited resources especially with so many ships would have been too much. If I had given them my knowledge earlier he would have been tried in front of a Federation court and the Admirals wouldn't have been forced to give him over to the other Drones while fully aware that he would be executed!"

"_With that kind of thinking it is no wonder she feels guilty!" _Chakotay now thought horrified at what she had revealed. Quickly he thought of a way to shift her guilt without making it too obvious. "Did you ever ask the Admirals about this? Did they actually say that is why they gave him over?"

A shake of the head was his answer before Kathryn buried herself deeper not wanting to look him in the eye. "Ever thought of the possibility that they gave him over because they knew under Federation law they could not really punish him?" Nothing so he tried again. "What would a Federation court have done with him? What would his punishment have been Kathryn?"

She answered quietly and slowly. "I suspect time in a penal colony, they wouldn't have let him back out."

"True, but would that really have been a punishment for him? Think about it, he lead you into that trap knowing what would happen to you... just because he valued his life above anything else. If we had put him into a colony for life that wouldn't have been a true punishment for him as he still had that which he valued most." He argued now.

"You know the law as well as me! Officially he was a prisoner of war to the Borg and the moment he was freed he fell under the laws of his people again. If we can't or won't try him under our laws he should have been given to them to face their justice not the Ex – drones. Meaning it was murder!" She snapped back before completely breaking down.

He wasn't ready to give up just yet. "But as they were absent you can say that the other Ex – drones were the next best thing! How do you know if we can even find his people? We have no idea where he originally came from! He had spent years with the Borg..." He trailed off here realising that she wasn't listening to him. In his head he couldn't help but wish all hell to break loose on a few certain Admirals, he blamed them for this. Knowing that he was unable to vent his anger right now he instead tried to calm Kathryn, who was crying harder then ever, down.

Knowing that the tone of his voice would help more then the actual words he kept whispering to her that it wasn't her fault. It took quite a while but in the end Janeways breathing evened out and he realised that she had cried herself to sleep.

Carefully so he wouldn't wake her he gathered her up and started looking for her bedroom. Once he found it he carefully lowered her to the bed or at least he tried to – while deeply asleep her arms and hands were still holding onto him, refusing to let go. _"She is going to kill me if I stay." _He thought in regret, knowing that he couldn't take advantage of her. "Kathryn, wake up!"

His only answer to that was mumbling, so quietly that he didn't even understand what she said. "Come on, wake up!" He tried again and lightly shock her. This time he got results, while Kathryn didn't exactly wake up she did let go and rolled onto her site. Quickly he took off her shoes then grabbed the blanket at the end of the bed and carefully laid it onto her. Quietly he watched her sleep for a minute before turning and walking out of the room.

Not knowing if it would be okay with her but too worried to leave he searched for another blanket then went to lie down on the couch. Despite his exhaustion it took him a long time to fall asleep, unfortunately it wouldn't be a long sleep.

* * *

Several hours later Chakotay jerked awake and looked around in confusion. In his sleep deprived state he didn't remember straight away where he was nor did he know what had woken him. It took him a minute to get his bearings though as soon as he did he stood up to check out what had woken him. It was still dark outside and he had no idea what time it was, he just knew he hadn't been asleep long.

"Click." Came now from somewhere in the apartment. Deciding to check it out he jumped off the couch, opened the door to the hall way and could then see a light from under a door which he assumed lead to the kitchen. Carefully opening the door in case it was an intruder he froze. It was indeed the kitchen but he hadn't expected Kathryn to be awake just yet. She was sitting at a dining table sipping on coffee and he could see that she had been awake a while as she had wet hair from a recent shower.

She had already realised that he was there and said in a far too bright voice, "Morning Chakotay, what are you doing up?"

"What time is it?" He croaked in reply.

"Just after three in the morning, I apologise if I woke you up." She answered but he could see that she wasn't sorry at all from the smirk on her lips.

"_She probably thought I left and now sees it as just punishment that she woke me." _He thought still far too tired to do much more then grunt. Shuffling into the room he accepted the tea she got him from the replicator and sat down. Drinking it helped him gather his wits around him and he asked in a more normal voice, "Why are you up already?"

Not wanting to tell him about her nightmares Kathryn quickly searched for an excuse. "I have a meeting at six." She said and had to hide her wince when she realised exactly what she said. _"As if that wasn't obvious Kathy." _She now thought in disgust.

Chakotay knew exactly what the problem was but could see from the stubborn stilt of her chin that she had no intention of talking about it. Deciding that was a topic for another time when he wouldn't be so tired he instead switched topics. "Well, while I wake up some more how about you update me on the crew?" A questioningly raised eyebrow was his answer to that. "Um... Have you decided on your staff yet?"

"You really have no idea about the crew do you?"

Sheepish but knowing he was caught he nodded so Kathryn decided to give him some of the info she had. "They are all fine, currently all in the midst of deciding what kind of, if any, assignment they will take."

That was news to him and as he had doubts they all got commissions he had to ask. "They are allowed to stay in Starfleet? All of them?" He asked making it more then clear that he was thinking about the Marquis and Equinox five especially.

She just nodded before deciding to explain. "Yes, though in the case of Noah, Marla and them they are barred from ever taking another deep space assignment and their actions during that particular disaster will be remembered for future promotions. It is unlikely that they will ever be in command positions."

"What about the Marquis?"

"All got offers though they all know that if they want commissions as officers they have to go through an accelerated program of the Academy if they haven't already done that. B'Elanna and Gerron are currently thinking of doing exactly that."

"Gerron?" He now asked in disbelief. "Our Gerron? Are we talking about the same person here? What would Tuvok say!"

A chuckle was his answer to that, "He actually offered to sponsor him through command school."

"You are having me on!"

Now Kathryn had to laugh, his reaction was too funny. "Really Chakotay that is quite enough. You know as well as me that Tuvok mentored him for the last couple years on board."

Chuckling he looked at her now happy that he could make her laugh. "What offers does B'Elanna have? You mentioned the Academy?"

"It's an accelerated program, she won't be a cadet. Matt wants her at Planetia Utopia where she would in time head her own team of Starship designers. For now she would be working there part of the time while completing her Academy courses. If she doesn't want to do the program he can't offer her a space there as head of her own team and it would only be as a Civilian contractor..."

"Which would mean she can't order people around any more." He interrupted her and both of them couldn't help but smirk.

"Who will be on your own team?" He asked now knowing that a lot of the crew had asked for a position with her.

"Hasn't been fully decided yet. As I told you a couple days ago Sam is definitely with me and Mike has agreed to head my security team, he is in the process of choosing that. I have a meeting with him today where he will give me the details after he interviews them this morning."

He looked at her in disbelief now, "You are supposed to have your team in place by tomorrow and apart from Sam you have no idea who will be on it yet?" he exclaimed.

She blushed and looked at him a bit annoyed. "You try sorting that while you have the brass pulling at you from all directions."

"Okay, I'll do it."

"No, you won't." She told him quite forcefully now. At his irritated look at her she continued before he could erupt. "It's my team, I will choose it. I have interviews already set up for later this morning."

He didn't believe that for a second and asked more to back her into a corner then anything else, "Who?"

"Tal Celes is one."

"Celes?" Came the disbelieving question before Chakotay took a deep breath and asked more calmly. "What position could you possibly have for her?"

By now Kathryn was more then a little irritated and it showed as she snapped back, "Don't talk like that about a member of... the crew!"

She had hesitated slightly at the end and he knew that she had wanted to say 'my crew'. Knowing that he hadn't been doing his job as first officer for the last year he didn't call her out on it but he was hurt by it. Realising what she had done she quickly continued, "She will likely be working with the young officers which have been forced on me by regulations. I am not up to date on the politics of the Alpha Quadrant and Celes does have a degree in history."

"Which she nearly failed." He mumbled now which just gave him an annoyed look as answer. Knowing how defensive she could get he quickly switched topics. "Who will head your team?"

"Most likely Harry."

That answer had him smirk. "Just don't smother him." Knowing by her irritated expression that he had pushed far enough he switched topics completely and gave her a pretend annoyed look. "So, when will you cook for me? After over seven years of burned and inedible meals, I think I deserve a proper one!"

Not expecting that, Kathryn looked at him in surprise for a minute before she told him, "Go get it yourself! I'm not cooking."

At the completely over the top hurt expression on his face she couldn't help it any more and burst out laughing. Chakotay watched her with a smile knowing that their conversation wasn't yet over and that Kathryn only just started healing but it would do – for now.

* * *

Puh done! This last bit gave me a lot of trouble. Had most of the chapter done for over a week but couldn't get the last scene right. Thanks very much to my beta Konari who I have been badgering to death these last couple days!


	15. Chapter 15

_From: dago ()_ _-_ _Hi_ _I hope there is more! Because I really want to know what happens to Chakotay &_ _Teero, J&C and the rest of the Voyagers!_ _I really love this story [even if sometimes some stuff is a little bit_ _unbelievable ;-) shouldn't Janeway be able to tell what Chakotay is feeling_ _with all her "abilities"? ... ]_ _;-) keep on writing!_

Remember what 'Boothby' said when he first told her about the true extend of her powers? If I didn't make it clear enough I apologise but he meant what he said. If you were in that situation would you really want to concentrate on an ability which isn't dangerous? Janeway is scared of what she could potentially do, not just for herself but for the people around her.

Bottom line is:

So long as she can shield herself from being read by others, like Deanna has already mentioned she can do, she just doesn't care about that particular ability. It's part of the plot though and will come up again later in an important way.

**Chapter 15**

"_You belong to me."_

"_You wish! I'm my own person and I will never help you."_

"_But you already did. We assimilated an entire species just for you Captain."_

"Admiral?"

"_You stole the freedom and individuality of over a million people! An entire race and for what?"_

"_We showed them perfection, just what you wanted for them."_

"_I never wanted this for anyone!"_

"Admiral, are you awake?"

"_Isn't bettering oneself one of the goals of humanity? You certainly always try to better yourself, it doesn't get better then perfection."_

"_This isn't what anyone would want!"_

"_But you do want it Captain."_

"_No I don't!"_

"_You do want this Captain. Admit it!"_

"Admiral wake up!"

_A hand on her shoulder and Janeway tried to get away. _"No!"

Janeway looked around in confusion, she was in an office and a young obviously frightened Ensign was staring at her from the doors.

"Cap... Admiral are you alright?" Came a voice from behind her.

Turning around she came face to face with a person vaguely familiar but it took her a minute to identify her. "S – Sam?"

A reassuring smile came her way. "Yes Admiral it's me."

"Where..." Janeway started to ask just to remember how Sam had addressed her. She looked in confusion from Sam to the still unfamiliar Ensign.

Sam looked at her in worry before calmly trying to explain. "You are in your new office Admiral. You got promoted earlier today remember?"

"_Promoted...?" _She thought in confusion before it came back to her. Alynna, Owen, a lot of other brass and most of her crew as well as the press conference. She was home; there was no Borg Queen here, but it had felt so damn real!

Seeing the confusion clearing from Kathryn's eyes Sam knew she remembered now. "You fell asleep at your desk and Ensign Tiny here couldn't wake you so she got me. Are you alright?" She asked while getting more worried by the minute; her CO was pale and shaking.

Ensign Jennifer Tiny had watched quietly but now left the room to get the Admiral some coffee, trusting in Sam to make sure she was okay in the meantime. She had been working here not even a week but already liked Janeway though knew that the Admiral wouldn't be comfortable with being watched in a moment of what she would see as weakness. Coming back into the room after five minutes she could see that Janeway was more composed and she let out a breath of relief. The Admiral was still a bit pale but otherwise seemed back to her normal self.

A weak smile was on Kathryns face as she turned to the Ensign. "I apologise about falling asleep Ensign. I suppose you had a message for me?"

"_Back to business then..." _Jennifer thought before nodding and handing Janeway her coffee and two PADDs. "Yes Admiral Hayes would like to meet with you as soon as possible. Your mother has also called to remind you about your niece's birthday on Sunday."

Kathryns eyes widened in a mixture of surprise and guilt—she had completely forgotten! Then she frowned; she knew if she wanted to spend the day at the party she would have to work through a lot of paperwork for which she would need at the very least a full day. "I still need to get a present."

Sam knew how busy Kathryn was and had been prepared for just such an occasion, and she laid a reassuring hand on Kathryn's arm. "I already bought you a present which you can give to her, so don't worry about that. Let's just concentrate on all your paperwork for now so that you can enjoy the party."

"When did you...?"

There was a smile on Sam's face when she answered. "You forget that today is my first day back at work; I had all week! Knowing how busy you are I came prepared."

Kathryn looked at Sam thankfully but also in frustration. She knew that Sam only came into work for her promotion and had not been supposed to report for duty for another week. Worse still was the fact that Sam was grieving about her husband and then there was Naomi. While the little girl didn't seem to be fazed much by the death of the father she barely knew, she was still traumatised by what had happened and needed her mother. Knowing that Sam was here despite that made her feel more than a little guilty, as she knew that Sam was here because of the worry about her. Also knowing how futile it would be to try and send her home Kathryn became determined to get the work done so Sam could go home as soon as possible. With her command mask firmly back in place she ordered, even though she phrased it as the Ensign doing her a favour, "Ensign Tiny please can you find out for me when Admiral Hayes can meet with me?"

"Of course, Admiral."

* * *

Later that day, Chakotay was once again wandering the grounds of Starfleet Headquarters lost in thought. He was still very angry at the Admirals because of the way Kathryn had taken their decision about Axum but if he was honest he had to admit that they did the right thing. He knew very well how the crew alone had reacted to what had been done and that if the Admirals had kept Axum in the brig he wouldn't have survived the journey home anyway. Ruefully he admitted to himself that if they hadn't handed him over for execution he himself would have killed him and if it hadn't been himself he knew that the crew would have done it. But even though he himself knew that he just had no idea how to help Kathryn with it, sometimes he really hated her incessant guilt complex! He also remembered her comment about Indiana and that she didn't go home much because of her fear of the dark and cold. He completely understood why of course but was determined to help her overcome it. As a plan formed in his mind he couldn't help the smile forming on his face but with a frown he remembered that he would have a hard time getting the crews help. Knowing that there were more important things then his own standing, he determinedly went to find B'Elanna instinctively knowing that she was the best person to approach but was stopped before he could get off the Starfleet grounds.

"Commander?"

Turning Chakotay was surprised to see Deanna Troi and Beverly Crusher from the _Enterprise. _"I thought you were still in the Demilitarized zone?" he asked them with a raised eyebrow.

The two women in front of him exchanged a look before Beverly answered him. "Well we were but we picked up a couple patients on the way who needed to go to Medical. The only ship they had been able to send for them was the _Moscow, _whose CMO is on leave, so we came also."

While Beverly had been speaking Deanna watched Chakotay carefully, she could sense barely concealed anger from the man in front of her. Just that morning she had been briefed by Doctor Pulaski, the head of Starfleet Medical, about what had truly happened with Teero. Her friend and superior had been concerned that the Commander had broken off his treatment and wanted her to talk to him to find out whether or not he was still a danger. Deciding that a longer conversation was needed she gave a sign to Beverly, who raised an eyebrow at her but just nodded.

Chakotay had been deep in thought after Beverlys explanation and did not see the silent conversation so was surprised when the Doctor spoke up again. "I'm sorry Commander but I have to check on the patients we brought again before I am done for today. I hope to speak to you again soon."

Chakotay watched her go with a furrowed eyebrow before turning to Deanna. "You only had to ask if you wanted to speak to me, there was no reason for sending her away."

"I think there was a good reason actually Commander."

"Chakotay please."

An amused look was thrown his way. "Alright and you may call me Deanna. Now will you tell me why you are so angry?"

"I'm not angry." Chakotay denied before remembering that Deanna is half Betazoid. Seeing the knowing look on her face he took a deep breath before continuing. "I should really know better then to try and fool a Betazoid."

Deanna had to laugh at that. "It's not like you are used to one of us being around any more."

"I should be considering that Kathryn now has similar powers."

That sobered the Counsellor up again. "Which she only uses to block people with similar abilities."

That stopped Chakotay in his tracks. "She doesn't try to use them to read people?" He asked with a thoughtful look on his face. On seeing Deanna shake her head he frowned, "But wouldn't it be useful especially considering her current position? To find out if people are being honest and all that?"

"I'm not here to discuss the Captain with you." Deanna reminded him now. "Or are you angry with her?"

"No, it's..." Chakotay answered before hesitating. "You are not letting me get away with it are you?" He asked her after a minute and on seeing the amused Counsellor shake her head he knew there was no way out of it. Sighing he thought for a minute on how best to explain before hesitantly starting. "You... you know that we are in debriefings..." He hesitated again before continuing in a firmer voice. "No that won't explain it. Ever since we met up in the Delta Quadrant I knew that the brass has been angry with me..."

"You thought that would end when they find out about Teero and what really happened." Deanna interrupted him now.

Surprised Chakotay looked at her before remembering that she is one of Starfleets top Counsellors. "So you were informed about that? Should have known... but yes I was hoping that would be the case. This morning I was proven wrong once and for all."

"What happened?"

"All members of the crew have got offers about their future assignments in the last couple weeks. All but me I only got mine this morning..." He trailed off here.

"It isn't what you expected it to be?"

"No I... I suppose I was expecting to be offered command of _Voyager." _He admitted after a minute of silence.

There was a surprised look on Deannas face now. "They can't offer what doesn't belong to them." She reminded him gently.

"I know the ship belongs to Kathryn but I wasn't offered a command at all. Admiral Nechayev proceeded to nitpick every command decision I ever made before telling me point blank that I will never get my own command." He now told her angrily.

"Did she say why? Was there anything at all about the time since Teero in her reasoning?"

Chakotay hesitated here before he had to admit it. "No... she said it's because they do not believe that I can follow orders. It's an excuse if you ask me."

Deanna thought for a minute about how best to answer before starting to explain. "I can't deny that Admiral Nechayev is angry about all that happened because she is but despite that she is trying to help. And she isn't blaming you for the last year... put the blame where it belongs – onto Teero. Not putting you in command of a ship isn't because she wants to punish you."

Chakotay was quiet so she continued. "Try to understand the Admirals position. An entire crew which has been largely out of contact for seven years... each of you has already shown that it isn't easy being back home. From what I saw after we met up with you in the Delta Quadrant none of the crew is all that comfortable working outside that group. Yes, I know you were a Starfleet crew and lived in a command structure but in the end it was a small community which became more like a family. Now you have to reintegrate into Starfleet at large that can't be easy for anyone. I believe that the so called _Voyagers _will always be closer then a normal crew but each of you has to get used to being back here in a much larger community. Starfleet knows this and wants to make sure that all of you get the help you need. They are trying to get small groups of you together to work within the normal structure. From what I have heard none of you are being assigned to a Space ship or even offered such a position. A Space station is a possibility yes but most will be on a planet at least for the next year or so."

"Then why are they sending out Kathryn?" Chakotay asked more in protest then anything else.

"She is a special case." The Counsellor admitted quietly. "They are trying to give her the help she needs but at the same time no one can deny that they need her. Admiral Nechayev is trying her best to protect to her..."

Chakotay snorted at that. "Protect her? Then why is Kathryn blaming herself for Axums death?" He asked her angrily before realising exactly what he had said. "Forget I said anything!" He told her quickly before turning and attempting to walk away.

Deannas hand on his shoulder stopped him though. "I already knew about that." She told him quietly before guiding him into the gardens for a walk. "Whether you believe it or not Alynna is trying her best."

"It's not good enough! Kathryn needs to talk about it!"

"Maybe it isn't good enough, maybe it is. She is only just starting on a journey which may take her years and all we can really do is give her support as needed. We are trying to help but pushing her into something she isn't ready for is not the way to go. Give her the time and space she needs, she will talk when she is ready..."

Chakotay didn't agree and promptly interrupted her. "Then she will never get over it."

A pointedly raised eyebrow was his answer to that. "Get over it no but she can work through it. Kathryn will never forget what happened but in time she will be able to deal with it. All we can do is try and be there for her when she needs us to. I repeat again... don't try to push her into something she isn't ready for or you will push her away." The Counsellor told him quietly but firmly.

While frustrated with that Chakotay knew she was right and his shoulder slumped. "I just don't like seeing her like she is now. Sometimes she reminds me of a frightened and cornered animal." He admitted quietly.

"Is that so surprising?"

Chakotay looked at her for a minute thoughtfully before he had to admit that it wasn't. Shaking his head he quietly murmured to himself, "Maybe we all need that time."

Deanna had heard him but wisely didn't comment, instead she just stayed by his side knowing that he also had issues he had to work through. From what he had said she didn't believe that he was a danger to Janeway or anyone else but she was worried about what would happen if he choose to ignore her warning. She knew how precarious the relationship between the Commander and Janeway was but all she could hope for was that the two of them could find a balance that would work for them.

* * *

Only an hour later Chakotay was standing in front of the entrance to Janeways office. He had spoken to B'Elanna and she had assured him that everything was ready so now all he had to do was to get Janeway away from her work. Which, he knew, was easier said then done! Knocking on the door and letting himself in after getting no reply he could see not only Janeway and Sam but also Tal Celes, Harry and another young officer deep in discussion about something. Quietly he sat himself in a corner and waited patiently for someone to realise he was there.

Fifteen minutes later another Ensign came into the room who had Naomi Wildman following behind her. He watched as Naomi ran straight to her mother and Kathryn both of whom received a hug before she turned and stopped cold at the sight at him. Not understanding why she would react like that he greeted her warmly with his hand stretched out in greeting, "Hey Naomi how are you?" just to stare after her in confusion when the little girl ran to hide behind Sam before he could so much as touch her. He was about to follow her when Kathryn gave him a warning look which stopped him. He could only watch as Sam took her daughter up before both of them left the room, only once they were gone did Kathryn come over to him. "Kathryn what...?"

"How did you get in here Commander?"

"_Damn she is back to calling me by my rank!" _He thought in confusion and not a little frustration as well. "I knocked but no one answered..."

"So you thought it was okay to just come in?" A disbelieving Kathryn asked him just as Chakotay could see Harry and the others quietly leave the room.

"I didn't think you would mind."

Kathryn groaned in frustration before she snapped back, "Damn it Chakotay I'm an Admiral now! You can't just come and go as you please! I could have you thrown into the brig for this!"

Chakotay was starting to get annoyed so tried to defend himself. "No one was in the reception area!"

"Then you should have waited there!"

"Why? So you can hide from me that something happened to Naomi and Neelix?" He spat back realising too late that he probably shouldn't have said that.

Kathryn stared at him for a second completely stunned by the accusation but before she could defend herself the angry voice of Sam Wildman already rang through the room. "If you had been more interested in doing your damn job then your pity party over this last year you would already know!"

Surprised both Kathryn and Chakotay turned around to find not only Sam but also Admiral Nechayev just inside the room. Naomi, who had sneaked in behind Sam, knew her mother was angry and so instead ran straight into the arms of Janeway, the only other person whom she felt truly comfortable with.

Knowing straight away that further arguing, especially in front of Naomi, would be counter productive Kathryn turned to Nechayev and asked, "What can I do for you Alynna?"

Chakotay was staring at Sam in shock, he had not expected her reaction at all but he could see that while she was angry at him there were also the beginnings of tears in her eyes. While he used to be quite close to Naomi when she was younger he had to admit that he had never known Sam all that well so he had no idea how to react. Risking a quick glance at the clock on the wall he cursed quietly under his breath. He had been hoping that by this time his plan would be well under way but he had to admit that he could probably forget about it now. _"How am I going to explain this to B'Elanna?" _He thought just as Alynna started speaking.

"Well, I have some good news for you all." The Admiral started before quietly kneeling beside Kathryn so she would be able to look Naomi in the eyes. "Naomi. Would you please look at me?" She asked the little girl who was hiding her face in Kathryns uniform jacket while not daring to touch her knowing from experience that it wouldn't go over well if she did.

Kathryn and Sam were looking at Alynna in confusion for just a second before both of them understood at the same time what news this must be. Matching smiles of relieve could be seen on both of their faces before they realised that Naomi was still practically holding Kathryn hostage in a vice grip and refusing to look up.

"Naomi please do as Admiral Nechayev says." Came now from Sam.

Naomi was clearly not happy with what her mother asked but slowly raised her head to Kathryn who smiled encouragingly at her before turning to Alynna.

Alynna had waited patiently so far but knew that she better hurry in her explanation so without any further fanfare told Naomi straight out why she was here. "We have found your godfather, he is still sleeping but should wake up soon. Would you like to see him?"

Naomi stared at her in wonder not daring to believe that the Admiral, who always seemed kind to her, was telling the truth so instead she looked first at her mother then at Kathryn both of whom nodded at her with a smile. "Yes, please." Came the quiet answer before she slowly took Alynna by the hand.

While Chakotay didn't realise the relevance of this gesture the women around him had and they froze for just a second. Since the rescue operation on Mars it was rare for Naomi to speak, she only did that with Sam and Kathryn around, and she had thrown a fit if anyone but those two touched her even by accident. For her to reach out to Alynna and voluntary touch her was a big step! While they did not know for sure how Naomi would react to actually seeing Neelix, her reaction to males was usually even worse, they all breathed a sigh of relief at this very first sign of healing from the little girl.

As they were leaving the room, Sam had taken Naomi by the hand on her other side, and Chakotay was about to follow Kathryn gave him a sign to stay behind. She waited only till the door closed behind the group before turning back to Chakotay with a warning look in her eyes. "Do not under any circumstances try to touch Naomi again!"

"But why? What's wrong with her?"

Kathryn wasn't about to be deterred though. "Promise me Chakotay!"

The Commander was still confused but could see by the look on Kathryns face that he wouldn't even get out of the room without giving the promise she wanted. With reluctance he nodded, "Alright I promise but will you please tell me why she reacted to me like that?"

"Just be happy that she didn't start screaming." Kathryn threw back before taking a deep breath to calm herself down. "I can't tell you what exactly happened to the Wildmans just know that Naomi doesn't react well to the touch of anyone but Sam and myself."

"You can't or you won't?"

"It is not my story to tell." Came the evasive reply.

While still confused Chakotay knew he had to accept that answer so he just nodded.

Kathryn looked at him quietly before remembering that she still didn't know why he was here. "Now will you tell me why you are here in the first place?"

Chakotay didn't really want to explain what he had planned but knew he would have no choice so reluctantly started speaking. "I... I came to escort you home to Indiana."

"What?"

"Remember how you told me that you didn't go back to Indiana under the week because it is usually so dark and cold?" He asked and continued once he saw Kathryn reluctantly nodding in reply. "I spoke with B'Elanna about it and we organised that a small group of the crew would take the walk from Bloomington to your mothers house every night with you."

To say the least Kathryn was stunned speechless! She couldn't believe that he had told the crew about that without her permission. _"I wouldn't have given it anyway but that is beside that point!" _she thought with mounting anger. It took her a minute before she found her voice and once she did it was more of a growl, "Call them off."

"What?" Came the bewildered reply from Chakotay.

"I said call them off! You had absolutely no right to do that! If I wanted your help with it I would have asked!" She snapped back.

"B – But..." He stammered in reply before taking a deep breath and continuing more calmly. "How long are you planning to stay here in San Francisco then when you would be happier at home?"

"_He does mean well but his execution is lousy!" _She thought half thankful at his thoughtfulness and half disgusted at his actions. This time she was a bit calmer when she spoke but it was clear that she was still angry at him. "Chakotay I am a Starfleet Admiral, as such I have a private teleporter which will bring me directly home and back to my office at all times of the day. I don't need nor want your escorts!" With those words she gave him a last look full of anger before turning and walking out the door.

"_What a mess..." _Were the only thoughts running through Chakotays head knowing now what he had not seen before. This was exactly the kind of situation Deanna Troi had tried to warn him about, he had pushed too far too soon! He was about to leave himself when he remembered why exactly Admiral Nechayev had been here. Running out of the office area he could see Kathryn walking with a security escort towards the exit of the building they were in. Still running he called loudly after her, "Kathryn wait please!"

Kathryn turned towards him with a raised eyebrow while waiting for him to catch up. Once he had it only took him a second to catch his breath, "Can I come see Neelix please?"

Janeway had half expected him to try and continue their argument and was about to snap at him when his words reached her. Without a word she nodded before turning and starting to walk towards Starfleet Medical, knowing that without her there it was unlikely he would be allowed to see their friend as he was in a high security area.

* * *

It took their group nearly half an hour to get through Security at Medical before they were let into the high security area of the hospital. It would have normally taken Kathryn less time but having Chakotay in tow meant having to clear him separately. It had been a pain but at least the same wouldn't happen again, once a person had the clearance it was normally done quickly. Both of them were quietly walking down a hallway, with Chakotay trying to think on how best to apologise, when a crying Naomi came running round the corner and threw herself into the arms of a surprised Kathryn who would have fallen over if Chakotay hadn't held her up at the last second. "Naomi what's wrong?" A concerned Kathryn asked while trying to get a better grip on the hysterical nearly six year old girl.

The next second Sam and Alynna as well as Deanna Troi rounded the corner as well, they had been trying to catch up to Naomi, but they managed to stop just in time before a collision would have happened. All three of them could immediately see how awkwardly Naomi was hanging onto Kathryn so Sam moved to help. Together they managed to lift Naomi up so she could properly settle into Kathryns arms, who then promptly moved to a corner all the while whispering sweet nothings. Chakotay could only watch in confusion but once he saw Deanna he moved towards her with a whispered question, "So Neelix was the patient you had to move I suppose?" Deanna just nodded in reply so he asked his next question. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Deanna knew that it was best that Naomi couldn't hear this conversation so made sure that they were far enough from the group around Kathryn so as not to be overheard. "I'm sorry but you weren't cleared to know."

Angry at that answer but knowing that it was the truth he asked his next question. "From what Admiral Nechayev said earlier he should wake up soon. Why is Naomi crying?"

"He is awake..." Deanna started before hesitating and when she spoke again it was with a grim look in her eyes. "Beverly can't explain why but he didn't recognise Naomi."

"What?" Exclaimed Chakotay in shock before remembering where they were and lowering his voice again. "He absolutely adores her! Why wouldn't he recognise her?"

"He doesn't seem to remember her at all though he did recognise Ensign Wildman. As I said Beverly couldn't explain it, from a medical standpoint he should remember – he just doesn't. She is currently running some more tests to see what could have done it and from where his memory stops but as you can see Naomi isn't taking this so well." Came the quiet reply.

Chakotay only nodded in answer knowing that he would have to wait for a better explanation. For now all he could do was watch as Naomi slowly cried herself to sleep.

* * *

An hour later Chakotay was waiting outside Neelix's room when Kathryn came out and sagged into the seat beside him. She was exhausted and really wanted to go home but knew that he would want an explanation as Chakotay hadn't been allowed into the room. "What is wrong with Neelix?" Came the question she knew he had been dying to ask.

Sighing she began to explain. "He doesn't remember anything at all since the day we got trapped in that life form we thought was a nebula in our first year in the Delta Quadrant."

Chakotays face lost all colour at that answer and he asked quietly, "How did he react when you told him?"

"Remember how he was at the time?" Came the pointed question.

Chakotay did and he closed his eyes in frustration. "He declared us insane for taking such a risk and wanted to leave Voyager. While it had been his decision to come with us in the first place he didn't trust at that point in time" He whispered in reply.

Kathryn just hummed in response before explaining further. "He didn't believe me when I told him where we are and what happened. He became more then a little angry when I had to tell him that Kes isn't with us any more."

"_Uh oh..." _The Commander now thought with a sinking feeling in his stomach. "What did he say?"

Kathryn just shock her head though, "It's not important." was her response before she saw the look in his eyes. "He first accused me of lying and said that I was hiding her from him. Then... then he accused me of having had her killed." She reluctantly admitted at last.

"_Just great! This is really all we needed..." _He thought in sarcasm and more then a little frustration. Knowing from her body language that she really didn't want him to come near her now he instead switched topics. "Any idea how he lost so much of his memories yet?"

"No, Beverly still can't explain it."

Knowing that there was more he poked a little. "What did she find?"

"Several hairline fractures in his skull." Came the quiet reply after a couple minutes of silence.

That answer left a nagging feeling in Chakotay he knew there was something about that he should remember but he was damned if he could remember it now! Standing to look out the window he quietly thought back over the last few years before he remembered with a snap. "Teero!" He exclaimed and watched in confusion as Kathryns face lost all remaining colour. When she also refused to look at him he knew he had somehow struck gold. "Kathryn what is going on?"

Knowing she had to divert him and quickly she looked him straight in the eye and told a half truth. "I haven't seen Neelix since the day he left Earth together with Sam and Naomi and I just told you all that happened in there. At the moment I don't know what happened to him." All true she just didn't tell him everything she knew or could guess as her mission was after all classified. While she did feel guilty about it she didn't want to pull him into her mission or the dangers it could bring. _"The less he knows the better."_ She thought with conviction before quickly searching for a new topic. "Anyway what is happening with you? You never did tell me what you are planning to do now that we are back in the Alpha Quadrant."

Chakotay stared at her for a minute knowing she had deliberately switched topics but, believing it was because of what had happened on the ship thanks to Teero, didn't pursue it. "I'm not sure yet if I'm honest."

"What offer did you get from Starfleet?"

"They want me back at the Academy as a Anthropology Professor."

Janeway stared at him for a few seconds stunned at his apparent hesitancy before grinning wildly. "Chakotay that is a fantastic offer! Congratulations!"

"I haven't taken it yet." Came the quiet reply.

"Why not? It is all you ever wanted!"

"True."

She stared at him in confusion now honestly not understanding why he wasn't more enthusiastic about the offer. "What is wrong?"

Not wanting to explain about the definite dislike from Alynna and the command refusal he just shrugged. "Just not sure if it is still the right thing for me." He still remembered the distaste in the Admirals voice when she had spoken to him that morning but knew he couldn't say a word about it to Janeway. He had already (correctly) guessed that he got the offer of his dreams because of her, and while he felt honoured that she believed he could do it, he would have liked to earn it on his own merits. He also knew very well that there was more that she knew about Neelix but either couldn't or wouldn't tell him about. He knew it would be a fight if he tried to get the answer out of her and had decided against it.

One day in the not so distant future both of them would be looking at this day with regrets knowing then what they couldn't have known at this point in time. If they had only trusted more in each other they could have and would have spared both of them a lot of pain. If only...


	16. AN

First of all I apologise for the long delay my computer went bust last year and I didn't have the money to buy one. Got one now and while I have this story finished on paper at least... reading the chapters which were published so far... I am not happy with it. Going to start fixing the chapters I have finished so far and repost them and only then will I start on the new chapters. How long that will take depends not just on my time but also on the time my beta has. He, like me, is a Uni student but he also works on top of that while I have health problems which don't allow me much time on the computer.

I do hope that I can finish the chapters which are up so far within a month or so and then start putting the new chapters on my comp and letting Kon (Beta) have them.

Once again I apologise for my long absence,

Ary


End file.
